Impulse [A Harry Styles FanFiction]

Chapter 41- Through The Dark

POV Auden

"It's over. He's gone. You are safe." Harry whispers into my hair.

The two of us are curled up like bear cubs behind the counter of my store. I have missed him so much.

There I said it.

So much has happened in the past ten minutes and I haven't even properly processed everything. 

When you are a child that grows up with a missing parent, you create someone who you imagine them to be. For years and years I always dreamed of the day my dad would pick me up from elementary school. I would run out of the classroom with my pink Twinkle Toes and pig tails bouncing on my shoulders right into his arms.

He would hug me, tell me he missed me, and how much he loved me. Then hand in hand, we would leave school and he would take me out for ice cream. 

I would make up stories in my head that my dad was out rescuing princesses in far away kingdoms, or a movie star who lived in the white house. I would tell people how funny my dad was and how we played school together on weekends. 

I had so many ideas of how fun it would be to have a father. But I also yet still  convinced he was a good man.

As I grew older, the dream changed. 

Take away the pig tails, twinkle toes, and the hand holding, but I still imagined through elementary and middle school that something would happen. But by the time freshman year rolled around, I had completely given up all hope he would ever come and see me.

But I still held onto the idea that he was a good man. But now after our interaction, I'm more then positive he isn't a good father. But my hope of him being a good man has completely vanished.

More tears roll down my cheeks involuntarily and I hug Harry closer. Even though my eyes are shut, I take in the familiarity of the boy I haven't seen in a year.

The distinct cologne that is unmistakably his, his cold cross necklace I feel against my cheek, and his strong loving arms holding me close. He moves a hand to my back where he lightly traces soothing circles.

I'm feeling so many emotions right now, I don't know what to do with them all. All my brain can come up with is to produce more tears.

There is a part of me wants to sit in his arms on my store floor forever. Not speak, but simply comfort one another in each others grasps. But, comfortable silence is so overrated.

Another part of me wants to talk. Sit on the roof of a building together, gaze at the stars, and talk things through. See what kind of place he's in and hear about his adventures since my departure.

But the other part of me, mostly my head rather my heart, wants to push him away. Tell him how much he hurt me and all the pain he caused me. Send him out the door before I can change my mind. 

After a stunt he pulled, the answer should be clear.

However, I can't seem to make myself move. I don't want to detach myself from the safety, comfort, and love I'm receiving from the one person who I've missed it most from.

"Hello? Anyone in here? Auden? Harold?" Louis's voice calls.

The bell on my door jingles and my eyes shoot open. The two of us break apart from each other and pop up from behind the counter like pogo sticks.

I know I look a mess and out of the corner of my eye I can see Harry's cheeks beat red.

"Oh. Er... um, sorry to interrupt whatever that is but, Harry we need to get back to the hotel." Louis explains sheepishly.

I turn to face Harry and I stare into his sparkling green eyes. My lips part as if I am going to tell him something, but no words manage to escape out.

Louis clears his throat obnoxiously and we both look at him.

"East." Harry blurts out.

I turn my attention back to Harry. What?

"Good effort Harry, but not quite. The sentence we were going for was I'm staying at EAST Miami Hotel. Try again, mate." Louis taunts.

Harry shakes his head at Louis and then rolls his eyes. He clears his throat and meets my eyes again.

"I'll be staying at EAST hotel this week. If you want to have a drink or even just talk or meet up, that's where I'll be. Only if you want to though." he shyly tells me.

The hesitance in his voice reminds me of when we met for the first time in 7-Eleven. He was so charming and cool yet so shy and reserved.

"Yeah." I manage to say.

Good going, Auden. Way to go! A+ response. So specific!

Yeah what? Yeah I will meet you for a drink? Yeah I will meet you for dinner? Yeah I want to even talk? 

Yeah fucking what?

Louis steps over to the counter and swipes Harry's credit card on the card machine. Harry's credit card has just been sitting on the counter this entire time.

The card. The counter. The painting. Oh right.

"Time to go Harry. Thank you for the painting it's lovely. Good to see you Auden, and I hope to see you again soon." he winks at me.

Louis picks up the painting and drags Harry by the front of his t shirt out the door. Harry turns around to look at me one more time before the door closes behind him.

I watch the two of them climb into a black car and speed away. I lean against the cold wall behind me and slowly sink to the floor.

Holy shit that really just happened.

But more importantly, what am I going to do?