Impulse [A Harry Styles FanFiction]

Chapter 45- History Pt 2

A/N Hello beautiful readers! This is the same chapter as last chapter just in Harry's point of view. I wanted everyone to see what was going through his mind during their first real conversation. Hehehe hope you guys enjoy!

Harry POV

I place our drinks on the table and take a seat in the booth. I'm sweating like a madman. I'm so nervous. The lads were cracking jokes all night about how anxious I am, but it didn't fool me. I know they miss her too.

I text her directions where in the bar that I'm seated and simply twiddle my thumbs. I'm too nervous to do anything else so I stare at the font on my brown Millers Lite bottle.

Over the past year, to keep myself sane I've acted pretty insane. S'quite contradicting, I know.

What I mean is remember all the little things about Auden and doing stuff throughout the day that reminded me of her. For example, any time I'd pass a Starbucks I'd order an iced coffee. I'm not sure what drink she gets, but instead of ordering tea, I'd order something that reminded me of her.

I have an album of photos in my phone of landscapes, city lights, crowded streets, sunsets, foreign countries that I took myself. I know if she was with me to experience that, she would have taken those exact photos so she can paint them.

And tonight, I ordered Auden her drink of choice. Titos and sprite, her favorite drink. Anytime we went to a fancy restaurant with a bar or a bar in general, she would always order that.

My thoughts are interrupted when she approaches the booth and per usual takes my breath away. I truly mean it when she say Auden is breathtaking.

"Hi." my voice is uncertain.

Lacking confidence, unsure, and my gesture to be friendly sounds forced. Fuck.

"Hi." she shyly answers.

"So um-"

"I-"

We speak at the same time and she giggles.

"Sorry, you go first."

I move my hands under the table and start playing with my rings. It's a new habit I developed but its actually quite calming and I find it very comforting.

"Harry, as much as I'd love to start over and spend the rest of the summer with you and live happily ever after, I can't-"

"But why not?" I cut her off.

Her saying those words just make me jumpy and want things back to normal.

"I'm not finished." she says sternly.

For fucks sake why didn't I just shut the fuck up. C'mon Harry get a grip.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I didn't mean to upset her, I lost control. I'm panicking now and I know if I say anything else I'll fuck it up more.

I just nod my head and pray she doesn't leave now. She looks at me with those blue eyes or hers and I swear I practically melt. She's right here in front of me and I can't blow this. This is the night I'm supposed to pick up the pieces.

"I don't wanna be someone you think you can just walk all over, break, and expect me to come crawling back. I want and deserve respect. What you did was not fair and simply cannot be justified and it was some of the worst pain I've ever had to deal with."

I assumed she suffered heartbreak but damn, it's so much worse then I ever could have imagined. I feel awful.

I did this to her. I fucking did this to her. She hates me. I feel like crying and I haven't even said my peace yet.