Misunderstood // Billie Eilish

𝚘𝚗𝚎

the air was thick with fog. the sky was a depressing gray. the crowd was remotely silent as a man in a suit, billie didn't even recognize, said a prayer.

billie's good leg was shaking anxiously in her chair as she repeatedly took off and put back on one of her rings.

her face was stern and her eyes were cold.

like ice.

what worried me most, were the constant tears falling from those lifeless eyes.

gently, careful not to startle her, i placed my hands on top of hers and she stopped fidgeting. "are you okay?"

"this is fucking stupid. finneas didn't even believe in god. why're they praying over his dead body like he gives a shit." she spat suddenly, her voice filled with rage despite the salty tears that ran down her cheek.

"billie..." i began. " i think they're just trying to show respect the only way they know how."

billie turned to face me, her face was oddly pale like she was sick to the stomach. "answer me this madelyn-- what kinda god lets my brother die of cancer just months after i get shot in the leg?"

of course, i said nothing. what could i have possibly said?

"huh?" she asked again, a bit more aggressively, but was only met with more silence.

"exactly." she scoffed and stood up in the middle the funeral.

i reached for her hand, urging her to sit back down but she shooed me away.

"i needa find a bathroom so i can vomit without being fucking judged."

hesitantly , i put my hand down and watched her struggle to bend down to grab her crutches. she maneuvered around the bodies in black clothing and eventually disappeared.

i didn't blame her for wanting to vomit. this environment was nothing but toxic for her. a funeral for her best friend was the last thing she needed right now.

after billie was traumatically dragged away into a police car, she's never been the same since.

luckily, brandon and his friends got arrested and tossed in jail.

because i took billie's gun, she only got charged for underage possession of marijuana in the state of california, instead of illegal possession of a firearm.

currently, she's on probation.

the police took her to a hospital a few hours too late and the surgeons almost had to amputate her leg. fortunately, some higher power was on her side, and they saved her leg.

vital tissues and tendons were damaged, making the recovery time lengthy and painful.

as of now, she has to go to physical therapy on top of regular therapy. honestly, i don't know which one she hates more.

billie, understandably, doesn't like talking about that night eight months ago.

a lot of things happened during that time.