Misunderstood // Billie Eilish

𝚏𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

i laid peacefully on billie's chest, her arms wrapped around me, as if she was afraid i would slip away from her and never return.

together, we had no sense of time or space or even reality.

it was just us.

in our innocent little heads, we were the only people on the planet.

when i was with her, all was right in the world.

no suffering, no pain, no more crying.

we were at peace.

"madelyn." she whispered faintly.

i hummed, my eyes blissfully closed, listening to the steady sound of her heartbeat.

"look at me, madelyn."

i lifted my head and stared into her pale, blue eyes.

they were filled with nothing but admiration; she was pure.

she wasn't torn or traumatized or frail.

the irises of her eyes swirled with delight and infatuation.

"i love you." a smile tugged the corner of her lips. "i love you more than life itself-- if god is real, i guarantee you are exactly what he wanted everyone in this shitty world to reflect. you're an angel, baby."

"you are ethereal."

she reached down and cupped my face with her smooth, gentle hands and kissed me.

when billie pulled away, she continued to hold my face, staring at me as she caressed my cheekbones.

i leaned into her touch.

she shook her head slowly, beginning to smile wider like she couldn't believe what was right in front of her.

"no one else matters but you. no one."

the world around her became hazy and she was the only thing i could focus on.

suddenly, i opened my mouth speak but nothing came out.

i was stuck; frozen.

i had so much to say to her but i couldn't.

my throat was swollen and had closed up.

right before a horrifying panic attack arose, a repeating, irritating sound filled my ears.

my alarm clock.

startled, i quickly turned it off and looked up at the ceiling, trying to process my strangely realistic dream.

i couldn't help but feel guilty afterwards.

she loves me.

she's hurting.

and i left her.

omniscient

it's been about three weeks since madelyn announced that she wanted a break.

billie cried every single night for the first two weeks.

madelyn stopped crying after week one.

although the tears vanished, her longing for her girlfriend only grew with time.

it was nothing but logical that she missed billie. spending so much time with anyone, will make you feel like they're apart of you.

similar to a puzzle.

even if you hate their guts or love them to death, you'd still find yourself incomplete without them.

when that part of you goes missing, you start to crave them like never before.