I'm A Mess (Minsung) Detective x Serial Killer (COMPLETED)

Chapter 18

March 14, 2020
6:00 pm

Minho's P.O.V.

"Hey baby." I greet Jisung with a smile as he gets in the car. Weirdly, I am greeted with silence. He just gets in the passenger seat with a blank expression, shutting his door and not saying a word to me. I look at him strangely before pulling out of the parking lot and driving to the restaurant I've chosen for tonight.

"I chose korean barbeque for tonight...I hope that's okay with you." I say, watching the road. Again, silence. Jisung just stares out his window. "Baby?" I ask, looking at him. He doesn't look at me, doesn't even flinch, he just stares out the window at the passing buildings. "Baby is something bothering you?" He shakes his head. "Are you sure? Why aren't you talking to me?" He just shrugs in reply.

I sigh and continue driving, wracking my brain for any reason he might not be talking. Jisung just sits there, staring out the window mindlessly and not uttering a word to me.

In reality, Jisung felt like shit. He had been keeping all these secrets from Minho, about the killing and the fighting and his entire past had been hidden from his lover. He felt terrible for lying about where he went the night before, and hated that Minho worried when he came home beaten and bloodied. He didn't want Minho to worry, in fact he didn't want him to be concerned at all. He just wanted to be loved without having his lover worry for him 24/7. He was also quite upset that they hadn't said their first 'I love you' yet.

They had indicated that they loved each other, but neither of them came right out and said it. These topics had been wracking Jisung's brain while he was at work all day, resulting in him messing up orders and causing a lot of unsatisfied customers to leave the cafe before their drinks were ready. He just didn't feel...good enough. And he didn't want Minho to know.

"Sweetheart...angel...baby boy, what's wrong?" I ask again, turning my head to look at him. Jisung finally looks at me, his eyes filled with tears and looks of uncertainty. I frown and pull my car to the side of the road, turning my body fully to face him. "Sungie, can you tell me what's wrong baby? Can I fix it?" I grab his hand and caress it soothingly. As soon as I do, my boyfriend breaks down into sobs.

"What am I doing wrong, Minho? Why does the world decide to hate me when all I do is try to live my life? Why do I have to be upset all the time? What more does life want from me? I can't deal with this weight on my shoulders anymore." He cries and my heart immediately breaks.

I unbuckle my seatbelt and climb into the backseat, leaving Jisung confused through his tears as I beckon for him. He unbuckles himself and goes to me, shaking as I pull him onto my lap and cradle him. He buries his face in my chest as he continues crying.

"What brought these thoughts on, Sungie?" I speak softly, rocking him back and forth. He hiccups and I wait patiently for him to talk, rubbing his back comfortingly.

"I...I'm just tired, Minho...tired of trying to live up to other people's expectations...tired of trying to meet other people's goals. I'm tired of all of it....I just don't want to live anymore, Minho." He replies.

"Jisung you are the most important thing in the world to me, and frankly I think you're doing wonderfully. It breaks my heart to hear you talk like this, and I'm sure you are doing the best you can. You don't have expectations to live up to, and I certainly don't have any expectations for you to meet. You are doing absolutely perfect, Jisung." I stroke his hair.

"Then why are people so cruel? Why did my mother leave me? Why do people glare at me when I'm just walking down the street? Did my father really leave behind that bad of a reputation?....just take the pain away for me, Minho....please just take it all away." Jisung sobs on my chest. I wipe the tears off his cheeks gently and kiss the tip of his nose.