BULLETS | JEMILY

the beginning

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Did not know when we met,

How far we'd get,

Do you feel the same way?

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"You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how." 

Margaret Mitchell - Gone With The Wind

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THE BEGINNING

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In the beginning, God created heaven and earth. And he created you. All of the millions and billions of people on this planet are nothing in comparison to you. You really are the only one for me, I just wish you knew that. I wish I could tell you, but something keeps telling me to stop. I should leave it alone, I know that. I should walk away before I ruin everything, because that's what I do. I ruin everything. I'm no good with relationships, I hurt everyone who gets close to me... the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you.

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I slam the door shut and go to the kitchen and pour a shot of tequila. And another. And another. And I keep going. The bottle doesn't last long and neither do I, as the last thing I remember is collapsing onto the cool kitchen tiles. I can  still smell him around my apartment, Jake, my last boyfriend. We weren't really that serious after all, and he just walked out three days ago. I guess he was fed up with my work schedule, that usually drives them away. I can't help it if I need to go to work at 4 in the morning, or sometimes even earlier. It's not my fault that they can't understand how important my job is to me, and how nothing else will come between me and my job. Not even a lousy, dependent boyfriend. Maybe the reason I've been unlucky with love is because I've been dating the wrong guys. I want someone who will support me and take care of me, but not depend on me to do everything all the time. Someone who won't question why I'm on the phone at three am, and why I leave early and come home after midnight, and why I keep two guns in my nightstand, and pepper spray in the bathroom, and a knife in every room. It's a tough ask, and maybe I'm expecting too much and don't give others a chance, but that's all I'm asking for. 

I'm awoken from my thoughts by the sound of the phone ringing. It's ten past four in the morning. "This is Prentiss." "Emily, I'm afraid there's been a mix up with your transfer papers." "My what? What are you talking about?" "You were pre-approved for a transfer to the BAU over in Quantico, Virginia, and you were due to start this morning, but the papers weren't delivered to the Unit Chief and so he's not expecting you." "Uh, I wasn't aware of any of this. Is there something wrong with my job here?" I ask, standing up and looking for my keys. "No, Emily, you're doing excellent work here, but the Bureau have reviewed your work history and performance and they think this would be the perfect opportunity for you." "So... what am I supposed to do? We're arranging a private plane for your immediate transfer to DC, and we'll have this sorted by tomorrow. There'll be a car waiting for you to take you to a new apartment." This is all news to me and I suddenly feel like my head is spinning. Possibly the tequila, but mostly due to the news overload. You'd think after my childhood that I'd be used to moving around, but nope, I still hate it. "So what do you say, Emily?" "Huh? Oh, fine, fine." "Excellent. I'll pick you up in an hour." 

I go straight to the bathroom to have a shower and try my best to ignore the pounding in my head. I've worked in Chicago for just over a year now, and I must admit, I was starting to like this place. But I guess I'll just have to move on like usual. I choose a simple navy blue hoodie with the FBI emblem and black jeans, and just grab a few clothes and my photographs and take a last look around before locking the door one final time and heading out. Max is sitting in his convertible, the roof off, wearing his shades as he waits. He waves when he spots me. "Emily! Over here." I laugh and shake my head. "I can see you, silly, you're like the only car here. It's half past five, and the sun is only just rising, why on earth do you need shades?" "I wanted to impress you." He flashes a grin before taking them off and pulling away, at speed. I hold onto the door handle, which thank goodness is locked because otherwise I'd yank it right off. "Dear god, Max, can you slow down just a bit?" I yell as we fly down the highway. "The plane needs to leave in thirty minutes, so we gotta fly. Literally." I shake my head. "Don't make me give you a speeding ticket." "It's okay, I work for the government too, I can make it disappear." He laughs and slows down slightly. "So... I guess whilst I drive, I'll say goodbye?" He says. I nod and look at the buildings rushing by. "Well, I've only known you a year or so, but I'm really gonna miss you. You've been a great partner, someone I know I can rely on to have my back, and I guess good luck in your new job." He sounds actually sad. "You're not getting emotional on me, are you?" I say. "Uh, no, no of course not." I give him a light punch. "I'm messing with you. Of course I'll miss you too. Keep your phone on, 'cause you know I'll call you all the time." "You bet your ass you will, or else you'll hear from me." "Oooh, so scary tough guy." We pull up to the airport and I head to the runway. "Max, I mean it, I need someone I can count on, you know..." "Yeah, I know. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. And you know I have insomnia so just call me, anytime." 

We hug tightly, he's more like a brother than just a friend, and I know that I will miss him lots. He saved my life in the first week of my job starting, and from then on we've been inseparable, both at work and away from work. He's like the gay best friend almost, except he's not gay. We tell each other everything that's going on, and there's absolutely no secrets between us. So he knows that this is all so sudden, and I had no idea. "You'll do great, Em, you always land on your feet wherever you go." I smile and wave as I climb the stairs to the jet. "Bye, Max! Come visit!" I yell as the door closes. The plane is super fancy, and the first thing I do is grab the champagne flute and down the glass in one. "Good god, that is good champagne." I say as I sit back and wait for the plane to take off. I don't really know why I'm being transferred, I mean, I put my name down years ago for the open BAU position, but I guess I just forgot about that completely. It's been like ten years already. I read up on the current team, and it turns out that SSA Aaron Hotchner is the current unit chief. Hotchner sounds familiar... where have I heard that name before? Oh, yeah of course, he and my mother used to work together. I haven't seen my mother since she moved state side. She's travelled literally everywhere I can think of, and we haven't spoken in years. Now that I'm moving to DC, maybe this would be a good time to try and mend one of the many broken bridges. If it's not too late.

We land, and I'm escorted to my new apartment. It's not too far from work, and it's certainly larger than my last one. The FBI must be splashing out for this one, so hopefully that means I'll be hanging around for a while. "Here, Agent, make yourself at home. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7." "Thanks. Hey, what was your name again?" "Anderson, nice to meet you, Prentiss." He leaves the keys on the sideboard and heads out. I watch from the window as he pulls away and drives off. It's still pretty early, so I decide to go into the city. The car is in the parking lot, and it's a neat ride. With no idea where I'm heading, I just follow the traffic until I reach a popular looking bar and go inside for a drink. I make a promise to myself that I won't overdo it, after all, I'm starting my new job tomorrow. "Hey, bartender, can I get a vodka martini?" I ask as I walk over to the bar. Most of the crowd are watching some sports match on the big flat screen, so the bar itself isn't too crowded. He serves me my drink and as I lift the glass to take a sip, I see a young woman in the corner, talking in a hushed voice on the phone. I can't hear anything, but her face is sad and her lips are barely moving. I swear she wipes her eyes before slipping the phone into her back pocket and walking up to the bar. "Glass of red, please." She says and plonks herself into the seat next to me. 

"Hi." She says, and in that moment, my heart just stops. She is the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world, the prettiest I've ever seen. "Hey."