Lockout: A Transformers Story

Chapter 23: Echoes of Memory

{I've been busy recently and keep forgetting that I'm still trying to rewrite this book😅, here's another chapter for you guys! <3 Locky}

Darkbolt and I are not what we used to be. You can sense our distance a mile away. Before she brought up Echo, we had been fine. I know my friend hides, yet, it may not be the dark I hold in my own spark. I should not have that kind of say. I keep my own secrets, Nightkiller's death, my encounters with Prime. I wouldn't normally assume, but since her recent disappearance during the night, and her nervous glances in the morning, she has to be sleeping with an Autobot.

There was a time that Darkbolt and I were closer, when Echo was born. He was our biggest connection and our shattered demise. Echo was the sweetest Decepticon, especially for being Megatron's son. Megatron was kind during those days, caring for his love and child. The end of the war changed him. It changed them. Echo hadn't seen much of the world, and when he wanted to, that was on his terms. His mother wasn't fond of that. Echo was much like my brother in his younger days. I wished Echo had still been around, he would have changed the entire outcome of the war. He had the spark of an Autobot, of my mother.

Something about the night seemed to comfort. The moon decided to emerge while I sat among the trees. The thick trunks engulfed themselves in the crisp air, leaves transforming before the frost bitten death of winter. It was calm, until someone popped into my personal space.

Leaves rattled as he sat on the grassy hills next to me, improper for a leader. I dared not look at him, we shouldn't be meeting. "You shouldn't be here." I whispered, my words stern.

"I know."

A hand hesitantly rested against mine while the wind bellowed through the trees. My spark clenched, wishing the worst upon him as I pulled my hand away. "You need to learn how to treat the enemy."

"You're not my enemy."

"I am." Our optics met for a moment, sky with sun. Memories of our last meeting flooded my mind, our kiss. There was still conflict in my spark, it didn't matter how I felt, there weren't many life and death situations to distract me.

"You don't have to be. We don't have to be."

"Easy for you to say. I have a mech already, it's dangerous to interfere." Don't interfere with my plot. Optimus stood, those baby blue orbs stabbing deep within my spark.

"You'll realize someday, never will I see you as the enemy, unless it is what you truly want." The mech came close, lifting my chin, allowing our optics to meet once more. "You know you aren't my enemy. You've felt it in your spark."

"It... it's dangerous."

"I know."

I could feel him leaning closer, my hand trembling to grab for the dagger at my hip. For a short moment, his lips were soft when they met, sweet and kind, filled with passion. I liked the addiction, the feeling of a drug flowing in my veins. My drug. The dagger finally caused him to back up when the kiss broke, the mech stepped back. He seemed uncertain, yet knew it was dangerous to tamper with me.

A sad gaze hit my features while I stayed silent, waiting for another reaction that never came. "I can't be yours. I am not yours." It was painful. For him. For me.

It had to be said.

Strength was a desire for leverage. Autumn's oxygen felt tight, like the flames had risen in war, ashes raining, smoke agonizing. War is suffocating. As the Prime said before, as I repeat, I am conflicted. Would Primus keep that secret? At this point, I felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed.

Primus antagonized me, now, before, It didn't matter. I was fucked up. I couldn't go to the warship like this.

I repeat this, don't I? The same pain, the same words. I don't get a break. Primus hides my fate.

My life had become chaotic.

Bubbling, slow bubbling, did it soothe my aching head, the burn down my throat? Drinking was a distraction, all the time. It was quite loud in the warship's bar, even when I thought I was alone. Chains rattled against the frame of the mech choosing now to sit next to me. Interesting? Not in my optics. I didn't look at him, my mind was full enough. My drink, an aid to gaze at.

"Why would a pretty thing like you come to a place like this?"

The same words of our first meeting.

"It's a distraction." I stirred the bubbling beverage, quiet. "There is no escape anyway from this nightmare."

"Are you alright, Lockout?" Nightblaze breathed, optics filled with worry. Worry.

"That is classified to you." I downed the drink, set the empty glass down, then lay a tip at the table. I left without another question. I wasn't in the mood.

Later on, we met in the hall whilst on my way to Shockwave, the NightBlaze was pondering with questions. I couldn't have personal space from specific people.

"I wanted to talk to you." I was listening, keeping quiet. "I heard about your incident with Nightkiller." I stopped in the midst of the hall, unsure how else to react.

"How?"

"A cop, the first one in the room with his body. That was me. It was a job, a job to kill you." I wanted his final breath at my feet when those words slipped. "I watched you jump out the window. I didn't have it in me to go after you or complete the job. I knew Nightkiller deserved whatever happened." He paused once more, our gaze meeting as I continued my walk. "I never expected something that dark from my partner." NightBlaze was testing my patience.

"Watch what you say."

"I know..."

Whatever else he had to say, I couldn't listen. I arrived at Shockwave's room before I knew it and slipped inside. I had enough of Decepticons for the night, I wanted my lover.