Checkpoint
I almost didn't not enjoy the two week vacation at Kansas. Almost. Kung hindi lang sa mga museums at magagandang kalsada... siguro dapat nagbakasyon na lang ako sa Salagdoong. I keep on receiving a letter... a letter from Axon, a hand written from Axon.
It started with the forgiveness letter together with a fresh blood rose. Noong tumagal... napagtanto kong baka niloloko lang ako, but it is Axon's handwritten. Minsan... may sasalubong sa aking matanda at ibibigay niya sa akin ang isang rosas, at nakarolyong papel.
I want you to forgive me. You never deserve that. I'm sorry.
That letter was his first sorry. Ang sorry niya sa pangyayaring hindi niya niligtas ang babaeng sinabi niyang mahal niya. Ang unang sorry niya pagkatapos nang lahat ng nangyari sa akin.
Jade and my Mom didn't notice how strangers gave me roses with letters. I put a block in my heart and Axon is trying to break it. Millions of questions but I chose to move on. Ngunit ang tanong... kaya ko bang humakbang sa bagong panahon nang hindi ko nalalaman ang lahat sa tanong na bakit? Kasi kailangan pa ba 'yon? You don't need an equation to answer the hypothesis that Axon actually left me hanging.
The next letter was...
I need to talk to you. I don't think I can live my every day life like this.
Natagpuan ko ang mensaheng iyan sa kwartong tinutuluyan ko sa bahay ni Lus... wala nang rosas. Iyan lang. And as usual I ignored it. Malaki ang porsyentong may kinalaman rito si Lus. Isang araw... tinanong ko siya tungkol dito. And the fucker is being straight forward, without further ado, he says that it came from Axon and he told me where I am. The letters were sent by different strangers. I didn't bother asking him if Axon is in Kansas... I don't want to know the answer.
I will give you the time to heal. But after that... please talk to me.
He want me to heal?! Seriously?!
Nang pauwi na kami. May sumalubong sa akin na lalaking naka suit and tie, an earpiece in his ear. He is probably a bodyguard of some superstar. Ibinigay niya sa akin ang isang sobre na sigurado akong sulat na naman.
My mother hailed a taxi. While me... I'm torn of threwing this on garbage or read it. Nang nasa tapat na ako ng basurahan. Binuksan ko ito.
The last letter says...
I love you.
Imbis na lumambot ay mas lalo akong nagalit sa huling sulat niya. Love me? A tear fell from my eye. Pabagsak ko itong itinapon sa basurahan at nagdiretso kina Mama.
Clearly... he's asking for my forgiveness. Maybe forgiveness is the first step of moving on. People can always forgive but not to forget. Axon put a scar to my heart. I can forgive him for the sake my healing.
"Babalik ako doon Astra. Buti nakakuha pa ako ng limang kano. Matira matibay na lang." si Mama habang nagcecellphone. Jade doesn't even flinch.
Tumingin ako sa labas ng bintana, ang lungsod ng Maynila ay ibang-iba. It's too busy that sometimes I'm thinking that it won't rest... it can't rest. Sometimes... I think that this busy street will never be calm. Just like my waves at the beach house... they roar when a typhoon is ready to downpour. And this discordant street is also ranting all about the traffic junks, big trucks, unpleasant horns, smoky motorcycles and a battle of the glaring sun. I wonder if someone finds tranquility here. Maybe beggars, maybe highschool kids and maybe traffic enforcers because they find monies in their jobs.
May kanya-kanya naman tayong pinagdadaanan. Mine can be chaos before... but now I'm slowly healing because of my family. Pero paano yung mga taong sa pamilya nila mismo nagsisimula ang mga pinagdadaanan nila? Life can be so unfair... but your mission is to prove that life may be like this but there is a significant purpose in every challenges.
BINABASA MO ANG
Shackles of Melancholia (Completed)
रोमांस"You're not the only one who was shackled to her own melancholia. I was trapped too... before." Astra and Axon Filipino Story Contains matured content. Not suitable for minor readers. Read at your own DISCRETION.
