The day Erik and I met seems like a century ago—our first kiss, an eternity. Leave it to me to fuck up the one good relationship I have in my life right now. I want so terribly to go up to him and just throw my arms around him—saying sorry until my hands break—but I just can't bring myself to do it. Every now and then, I'll catch Erik's eye as we pass each other in the hall or something, and can see the resentment he must have towards me at this point. But, I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
People like Erik don't understand what it's like growing up in a family like mine. They don't know what it's like to be scared of who you are. If we were to get back together or even reconcile, my dad could find out and I couldn't risk that happening—the consequences would be beyond devastating. It's just so un-fucking-fair! I was so happy with Erik! Why am I not allowed to be happy without my family fucking hating me? How is that ok?
Worst of all, Erik is now spending all of his time with Marley—one of the other SPED students at TDS—and I see the way Marley looks at him. They act like straight guy 'buddies' at school, but I don't buy it. What if they start dating or something? The image of Erik kissing Marley—in the same spot in his small room where he and I shared our first kiss—makes my stomach feel as though it's full of helium; rising to the top of my throat where I know if I don't swallow it back down, it will erupt from my mouth in a wave of sobs.
So, what am I supposed to do here? I can't keep just going through the motions like I've been doing since Erik and I stopped talking, as I feel as though I'm approaching a mental breakdown or something. The image of Marley and Erik's lips meeting resurfaces in my mind, and I give my head a violent shake—attempting to literally shake it free. I can't let that happen. No. No fucking way. I don't want that to happen. Erik is my boyfriend—and more than that, he's my person. I'm not going to let Marley take that away from me. I decide that enough is enough. Fuck what my dad thinks—I'm going to talk to Erik again, and I'm going to get him back.
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Alterity
Teen Fiction15-year-old Erik Morris is beginning his freshman year of high school at The Ducharme School: a specialty school, following being held back the previous year due to struggles with learning disabilities. Despite initially feeling entirely alone, Erik...
