Alterity

Chapter Thirty

I sit alone on my bed in my room, alternating between reading and staring at the wall. Since my dad discovered Erik and I's relationship after searching through my messages, he has not allowed me access to any sort of smart electronic devices. No phone, computer, or iPad. Nothing. Just as I'm finishing reading through The Hunger Games for the millionth time, my sister, Maya, appears in front of me—waving her hand trying to get my attention. Having not noticed her enter, it startles me so badly that I actually toss the book into the air the way people do in cartoons.

Maya puts her hands up to her mouth, stifling a laugh and simultaneously apologizing.

"Sorry! Sorry!" She says, still grinning a little. "I kept waving but you didn't notice—didn't mean to scare you."

I sigh. "It's fine. What do you want?"

"To talk," she says, sitting down on the edge of my bed. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," I say.

She raises her eyebrows. "Yeah? Doesn't seem like it."

"Well, I'm fine," I repeat, a little angrier this time.

She nods to herself—eyes focused on the floor—and looks up at me with a slight frown. "Leo," she says. "I know about Erik."

I don't say anything back—I just stare at her in shock. How the hell could she know about that? Could Dad have told her? No. No way. He was mortified about my homosexuality—there's no way he'd tell anyone other than my mom what he found in my messages when he looked through them. Could Erik have . . ?

"How do you know about that?" I ask.

"I've heard the gossip around school," she says.

Maya goes to TDS as well—she's a senior—due to her struggles with dyslexia and dysgraphia. Like our parents, she is hearing—though her fluency in Sign is far superior to theirs.

"Oh," I say, doing my absolute best to avoid eye contact.

"So, Dad found out, huh?"

I nod.

"Yeah," She says. "I'm sorry, Leo."

Biting the inside of my cheek, I look away to try and keep from crying. It's all just too much at once. To my surprise, Maya reaches out and lightly pats my arm, turning my attention back to her.

"He's wrong, you know," She says. "Whatever he said to you—he's wrong."

I raise my eyebrows.

"Leo, Dad's a fucking dumbass. You get that right?"

Smiling a little, I shrug my shoulders.

"Well, he is—and you shouldn't listen to a word he says. You were happy with Erik. I could tell. You were smiling all the time."

"Yeah, well. It's too late now," I say.

"How do you figure that?"

"I've avoided him like the plague since Dad busted me." I swallow hard. "And I've been such an asshole to him."

"You were scared. People do stupid shit when they're scared. What's important now is that you make it right."

"I planned to go talk to him the next time I saw him," I say, the tears beginning to spill over. "But I—I don't know if he'll even forgive me."

Maya nods and gives my arm a squeeze. "You won't know if you don't try. And, for what it's worth, Erik seems like a really cool, down-to-earth guy. I don't think he'd hold something like this over your head—especially once you've explained to him the reason behind your avoiding him."

"Maybe," I say.

"Positively," says Maya.

She reaches into the back pocket of her jeans and pulls out my phone, placing it gently in my hand. "I stole this back for you. Text Erik. You two deserve to be happy."

Mouth hanging open, I stare at her in disbelief. "I—thank you!"

"You can thank me by talking to Erik," she says, giving my shoulder I rough pat. "You got this, Leo."

As she gets up from the bed, I grab her arm.

"Wait!" I say. "What if he won't even listen to me?"

"Then send him my way," she says, smiling. And with that, she gets up from the bed and leaves the room.

Taking a deep breath, I turn on my phone—a million notifications flashing at me at once. I only see one or two of the Please just tell me you're ok messages from Erik before I clear the message history entirely. They're just too painful to read. With texts now cleared, I bite my tongue and text Erik before I can talk myself out of it.

Leo: Hey

My heart pounding in my ears, he responds before the screen locks.

Erik: Hi