Pariah: The Other Malfoy

Chapter 48: Mudblood

I put a mask on the moment we got to Hogwarts. People were eyeing me, making it clear how awful I looked, but I pretended not to notice. Snape questioned me about what had happened, and Harry had clearly let the Order know too, as Sirius sent me a letter soon after. I told both of them I was fine, which was something of a lie, but I didn't need people acting as though I was broken. I was confident my parents would ensure it wouldn't happen again, so I just tried my best to push it out of my mind.

I continued to help with the DA, though I did take something of a back seat. I couldn't help it, though I worked hard to wear a mask, act like I was okay, the Cruciatus Curse was something I would never wish on anyone. If my mind wandered too long, I was brought back to that moment, the pain, the screaming, thinking it would never end.

"Have you seen, the Prophet is blaming Sirius for the breakout?" Tobias sat beside me one breakfast, slamming a Daily Prophet on the table between Ron and I, wrenching me the swirling depths of my mind. Harry and Hermione were nowhere to be seen.

"They have to have a scapegoat," I sighed, not even bothering to read the paper, stabbing my fork into my egg in frustration.

Someone cleared their throat behind us. We turned to see Umbridge behind us, a sickly smile on her face. She snatched the Prophet from the table, glancing at it and frowning. She then set eyes on the book next to my hand. It was Hairy Snout, Human Heart.

"I do believe you should be at the Hufflepuff table, Mr Roberts," she said in a sickly sweet voice and Tobias grudgingly left us, "Malfoy, Weasley, eight inches please."

With a wave of her wand, Ron and I slid away from one another. She then picked up the book in front of me.

"Did you forget about decree forty-six?" she asked, smiling, "Literature by non-wizards or half-breeds is banned."

I clenched my fist at her words. Ron gave me a warning glance, I could feel his eyes as I bit my tongue. She knew exactly what she was saying and she seemed to take great joy in it, and a reaction was just what she wanted. I glared at her retreating figure before sliding over to Ron again. He glanced over at her before turning back to me.

"This is just the beginning, Ron," I whispered, "It's going to get much worse than this, and now that he has his most loyal Death Eaters back..."

"Eight inches, Malfoy!" Umbridge screeched and I slid to the other end of the empty bench without moving a muscle myself.

Severely hacked off, I bit my tongue, stood up and marched out of the Great Hall. Could I not even have a conversation with my friend nowadays?

"Malfoy!" She shrieked after me, "Do not walk away from me!"

Even when I didn't say a word to her, that wasn't good enough. I clenched my fists in anger, ready to spin around and tell her exactly what I thought, when Tobias appeared by my side. He forced me out the doors, ignoring Umbridge making comments behind us, taking me out into the courtyard.

"Calm down, Lyra," he hissed, "You're making it worse for yourself!"

"Get off me," I wrenched my arm away from him, glaring at him in fury, "Stop interfering!"

"I'm interfering for your own good," he shot back, "What exactly was your plan in there?"

"I don't know," I clenched my fists, "Curse her, swear at her. Something."

"Oh yeah? And who would that help?" He asked, "Lyra, you need to calm down. I know the holidays weren't easy, I know you're going through things, but this has got to stop. People are becoming suspicious because of your mood swings and I can't—"

"Then don't!" I cried, "Stop defending me, stop interfering! It isn't your business! I can handle myself, I don't need some—"

"Mudblood? Go on, say it," his face darkened.

"Tobias, I didn't say—"

"You didn't need to," he shook his head, backing away, "I really did think you were different."

"I didn't mean it!" I cried.

"Yes, you did," he laughed slightly, "Everyone told me I was an idiot getting involved with a Malfoy when I was muggleborn. I told them they were wrong, but I was the fool."

"Tobias—" he had already marched off, taking a piece of me with him.

I yelled in fury, throwing my book bag across the courtyard, collapsing on the bench. What was wrong with me? I had one small piece of happiness that remained in my life, and I threw it away in a fit of anger at Umbridge. I was such a fool!

"Lyra, what's going on?" Ron came into the courtyard seconds later, "I saw Tobias—"

"I'm an idiot, that's what," he picked up my bag, handing it to me, "I'm an elitist, selfish, pathetic idiot."

"That isn't making it any clearer," he sat down beside me, raising an eyebrow.

"I called him a mudblood," I sighed, "Well, not really, but I near enough did. I stopped short of saying the actual word... just because I was annoyed at Umbridge, I went straight back to my old ways without even thinking about it and—"

"Lyra, stop," Ron eyed me for a second, "Though everyone will agree with the fact there is absolutely no excuse for that word in any situation, you are having an hellish time at the moment. You didn't actually say the word, you stopped yourself because you knew it was wrong. Umbridge is out to get you, you had to deal with everything going on at Christmas, your transformations make everything much worse... Tobias is worried for you, as we all are, and he was unfortunately in the firing line when you had had enough. Give him some space, apologise when things have calmed down. He won't be angry at you, you know him better than I. He just knows you need time."

"I've ruined everything," I buried my head in my hands, "It doesn't matter what I'm going through. I was an asshole."

"Yep," he nodded, "You were. But you admit it, and that will mean a lot to Tobias. So right now, both of you need to take some time to breathe, and talk again when you've both had a chance to think. I'll go talk to him, don't you worry about it. The full moon is tomorrow, so you have other things to worry about right now."

"Thanks, Ron," I sighed slightly, "You've made me feel a bit better."

"Teachers are hereby banned from giving students any information that is not strictly related to the subjects they are paid to teach. Red Howlers are forbidden on the premises. Anybody found in possession of the Quibbler will be punished."

The voice echoed around the halls constantly, stating the new prohibitions. Harry had given an interview about the Dark Lord's return to the Quibbler, resulting in it being banned. The mass breakout from Azkaban obviously scared Umbridge so much she didn't want her colleagues speaking about it, perhaps she was afraid everyone would realise Harry was telling the truth.

I was extremely tempted to send a Howler directly to Umbridge but was discouraged by Ron. My friends and I hardly got any time together anymore, especially since she restricted use of the library and common room. She had banned Quidditch altogether and all brooms had to be handed into her. It was somewhat of a relief, given how bad Gryffindor were doing with four members being reserves.

Hogwarts was turning into more of a prison than Azkaban.