2013: Carmen meets Pete Wentz on a rainy evening. His kindness and mystery draw her in, and she begins to fall for him. He comes with a dark past and secrets but she's willing to stay by his side and fight them. Even if it could cost her life.
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"And in the end I'll do it all again. I think you're my best friend. Don't you know that the kids aren't al-, kids aren't alright? I'll be yours."
CARMEN had wondered if it were truly possible, she laughed to herself as she sat on the edge of the bath, one hand on the sink for support. She had to be hallucinating. A few minutes had passed since she had taken the test, and the double lines lay facing up at her. She shook her head, she really was going crazy.
She was pregnant.
She was also dying.
Which meant her baby was also dying.
Carmen let out a small cry, this was everything her and Pete ever wanted, a family, a life. Not only did she now feel guilty about leaving Pete, she was also killing this baby. She sniffed and wrapped the pregnancy test in a tissue before disposing of it. She washed her hands and splashed her face, glancing in the mirror as she did so. She had become much worse in the days since the wedding, her hair had become limp and her eyes had lost their glow. The medication she was taking had no effect anymore.
***
Carmen sat curled up on their sofa, with a blanket tucked in to keep her warm. Her teeth chattered noisily, and she clamped her lips together to stop it. A cup of herbal tea sat in her hands, half-drunk, she was too focused on trying not to drop it rather than drink it. The strong smell of mint wafted upwards and Carmen smiled weakly, it reminded her of her teenage years. The years of laughing with her friends, but also comforting her mum in the summer evenings when she had argued with dad.
"Are you okay?" Pete asked, walking into the room nervously, he was always on edge now.
They had both visited Sarah in hospital and were glad to see that she was doing okay. But they both knew that everything wasn't okay. The pain in Carmen's body had increased and spread to every part of her. Her brain was fuzzy, her eyes felt heavy.
"I-I nee-need help?" Carmen finally slurred.
Pete sighed and quickly walked over to her, he bent down beside her and kissed her forehead, before taking away the tea and picking her up in his arms.
"You'll be okay, I promise," he whispered as she passed out in his arms on the way to the car.
He drove quickly to the hospital and panic set in as he carried her through the hospital, shouting to nearby nurses for help. It wasn't long before Carmen was swept out of his comfortable arms and onto a hospital bed. Carmen groaned, eyes blinking, trying to find her husband.
"Pete?" she mumbled, reaching out.
Her vision blurred and everything ached. She wanted so badly to give up, but she kept fighting for Pete and this baby. She sobbed in confusion and whimpered when a sharp pain shot through her side, they had injected her with something. As the cool liquid spread through her body, her senses dulled, and the pain disappeared. She fell into a state of peace, everything was quiet, and it was just her and her beautiful baby in that very moment.
***
"Carmen, my name is Dr Raymond," a voice startled her.
Carmen blinked a few times, allowing her eyes to adjust to the room. The room was brightly lit by the window by the side of her and she watched the world go by for a few seconds before blinking and noticing Pete beside her. Realisation flooded her and she gasped, clutching his hands.
"I need to tell you something," she rushed but the doctor gently pushed her back into a resting position.
"How are you feeling right now?" he asked calmly.
"I can't feel anything," she murmured, hand darting to her stomach.
Doctor Raymond nodded and smiled softly.
"Good. We have you on a max strength pain relief. You should be okay while we run some tests," he nodded again and left the room.
There was a seconds silence before Pete squeezed her hand slightly, jolting Carmen into realisation once more. She licked her dry lips and brushed her free hand across Pete's cheek.
"I'm pregnant," she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear above the gentle buzz of the monitors.
Pete sat up, reaching slowly for Carmen's stomach. It wasn't an obvious bump, especially with her thinning frame, but the moment Pete placed his hand there, he smiled. A tear rolled down his face as he laughed.
"We're having a baby," he whispered back, tucking one of Carmen's hairs behind her ear.
They shared this moment for a few minutes, basking in the happiness of a beautiful future they couldn't possibly have. They giggled with each other over silly baby names, forgetting for a second that Carmen wasn't in a hospital, that she wasn't dying. Their moment shattered the second the doctor walked back into the room with a concerned look on his face.
"Mrs Wentz, we ran standard procedures earlier. You're pregnant," he spoke slowly, but there was no hint of happiness in his tone.
Carmen nodded, smiling softly, "I know," she said painfully.
"I am so sorry, I will give you a few minutes," and he left the room once more.
Carmen and Doctor Raymond didn't need to share any words, she didn't need an explanation. She was dying and her little baby would die with her. Her body shook as she trembled, and she finally let herself break down. Pete knew this too, and their little moment of happiness disappeared from view.
They would need a miracle, but this was the real world and miracles didn't exist.
