Stop Lying || Saiouma

You're alone, Kokichi

//SHUICHI POV//

tw// suicide

The past two days were... Fine.

Relaxing? 

Comfortable?

It was nice being with him at all, but I spent the whole time worrying that something would happen.

I sat on the couch, watching TV and waiting for Kokichi to get back from his class.

Miu built a device that would let us cast YouTube videos onto the TV, so I could honestly watch anything I wanted.

But soon enough, the door slammed open and shut as Kokichi ran in, and locked himself into the bathroom.

Oh god.

What happened now?

I pondered what to do, but realising I shouldn't leave him sitting there, I grabbed his pill bottle and rushed to the bathroom.

But then I noticed how little the bottle weighed.

It was empty? 

No, I'm sure that it should've had at least twenty left.

I should go get it refilled this afternoon.

Instead, I grabbed some panta and knocked on the door.

"Kokichi..?"

"Go away," I heard mumble, but I believed that he didn't want me to leave.

If we didn't want me here, he wouldn't have come back to the dorm.

I knocked on the door again, and Kokichi swung it open.

He stood at the door, his hair a mess and his eyes red.

I couldn't help but notice the bruises on his neck.

Well, they're not exactly bruises.

But that wasn't important right now.

"K-Kokichi, what happened," I said, stepping forward to grab his hand, but he yanked it away.

"I said go away."

I was taken aback.

Did he really want me to leave?

"I don't want you to be alone right now," I said, trying to seem serious.

"Oh haha, what happened to 'You're alone, Kokichi. You always will be.' You seemed pretty serious when you said that, so stop with the act!"

He pushed me backwards and slammed the door shut, locking it within a second.

I took another step backwards.

And another.

And another and another and another.

This...

This was all my fault, wasn't it.

I'm the one who did this to him.

He was telling the truth and I didn't believe him.

He really did think I was trustworthy, and all I did was...

I collapsed onto the floor and put my head in my palms.

Fuck.

Fuck, this is all my fault.

I need to fix it, I need to show him that I was wrong.

That it...

That it wasn't the truth, what I said.

Kokichi is the embodiment of a lie though...

He'd see through it.

Because the worst thing is that I actually meant it when I said it.

I didn't know what to do.

I didn't...

I rushed out of the room and ran towards Kaede's.

"Kaede," I yelled, pounding on the door.

Soon enough, she opened the door with a shocked expression on her face.

"What's wrong?"

That's what it took?

I hadn't cried since I had woken up.

Maybe Kaito really made me tougher.

But that was it.

Tears spilt out of my eyes, and I fell to the ground.

She rushed to my side and put a hand on my back, "Shuichi, what happened?"

"Kaede, how do I get Kokichi to forgive me? For the things I said..."

She stood up and stuck out her hand.

I took it, and she pulled me up.

"First, we'll wipe your tears, then you can have a drink, and then you can go over and talk to him."

I wiped my face with my sleeve, and nodded, following her inside.

I don't think she understood what had happened, but she understood what I wanted.

After drinking three glasses of water and cleaning my face, I thanked Kaede and walked back to my dorm.

On the way there, I thought of what to say.

What to tell him.

I put this off for so long.

I kept hoping that he would have forgotten it, or that he just thought it was part of the game.

The door was still unlocked, so I walked in.

The room was a mess.

Blankets were sprawled out across the floor, such as empty bottles and pages.

I walked towards the bathroom, yet it was unlocked and empty.

"Kokichi?"

I began to stress.

"Kokichi, where are you?"

Then I saw him.

Behind the bed, eyes shut and foam coming out of his mouth.

I didn't have time to scream.

I grabbed my phone and dialled the emergency services.

Sitting down next to Kokichi, I tried to think of what happened.

Ambulance.

Suicide. 

While waiting, I noticed his pills, scattered out beside him.

Oh god, Kokichi.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't know you were hurting this much.

The ambulance arrived, and Kokichi was rushed out on a stretcher.

I was allowed to ride with him, since I was the closest person to him.

When we arrived in the hospital, I filled out a form about him, but when it came to immediate family, I paused.

He... Didn't have any?

...

The wait seemed like forever, but after a few hours, they claimed he was stable. 

And I could visit him.

...

He was still asleep, lying peacefully with his eyes closed and lips slightly parted.

He seemed much better. 

Still pale, yet better.

In peace.

im sorry </3 ive been sick for the past days so i couldnt write,, but now im SORT of better so i can write again. i hope u enjoyed <3 stay safe, take care!! ily all -teef

ALSO I CANT ADD PICTURES CUZ IDK CAVEMAN BRAIN THINK COMPUTER GO BONK