Stop Lying || Saiouma

I'm here

//KOKICHI POV//

I woke up to a sharp pain in my throat and head.

A bright light shone on my face.

God? Is that you?

Oh.

It's just the sun.

I attempted to covered my eyes with my arm, but I noticed it was being held down.

Oh no, have I finally been admitted and declared insane?

...

It's Shuichi.

Holding my hand.

As I lay in a hospital bed.

I don't remember what happened...

What happened?

I was mad.

I fought with Shuichi.

Because I remember what he said.

Honestly I don't really blame him.

I was...

I was how I wish I could be in reality too.

I didn't care about others and I didn't care at all, at least I told them that.

I acted like it.

I did care.

Of course I cared.

But even if I told them that, no one would believe me.

Cause' I'm a liar.

And I don't blame them.

...

The grip on my arm tightened, and I winced slightly.

The boy sleeping on a chair next to my bed woke up at that sound, and stared at me.

"K-Kokichi, you're awake."

I looked away.

I didn't want to see him mad.

I didn't want to see hatred in his eyes.

Anger.

But when I looked back, Shuichi was sitting there, tears streaming down his face.

"Kokichi, please, don't ever do that again," he sobbed.

...

Huh?

Why... Why does he care?

All I wanted was for everyone to hate me.

If everyone hates me, I have no expectations to fulfil.

If everyone hates me, no one will have to miss me when I'm gone.

Why...

Why does he care?

"Shuichi... Why do you care about me?"

He seemed shocked by that question.

Like it was such a dumb question.

I wondered what he was thinking?

'I don't actually care about you, I'd just be given the blame if you died in our dorm.'

Heh, I guess that'd still be something.

"Kokichi, I like you."

"I'm glad you do, cause' if you didn't then it'd be hard to live with y-"

"No, Kokichi. I mean I like, like you. I- I kinda thought it was obvious.. Don't you f-feel the same way..?"

...

What?

He likes me?

The way I like him?

This has to be some kind of sick joke.

I burst out laughing.

"You got some balls lying to me," I wheezed.

"K-Kokichi! I'm serious."

I couldn't stop laughing.

I didn't want him to like me.

I don't want him to be hurt the day I disappear.

My depressing thoughts were cut off by Shuichi standing up and sitting on my bed.

I stopped laughing and looked up at him.

He grabbed my chin softly, and pulled me towards him, kissing me deeply on the lips.

He stayed there for a few seconds before pulling away.

It seemed as if he wanted to say something, but was interrupted.

By what?

He was looking at my face.

Oh.

...

Tears were streaming down my face.

Not my highly aggressive fake tears that I'd burst whenever someone would insult me. 

Real tears.

I think.

Sometimes I don't even know the difference between my own lies and the truth.

"I promise, I like- No, I love you, Kokichi," he said, smiling while wiping away my tears with his thumb.

"You... Like me?"

He nodded.

"I- I like you too," I said. 

I couldn't laugh, I couldn't smile.

I spent all this time loving him, no one warned me that he'd love me back.

No one told me what to do after this.

"So... What do we do now-"

My sentence was cut off by Shuichi embracing me tightly, but still somehow softly.

"Please, don't do that again, Kokichi. Don't leave me again."

Oh.

As the master of lies, I could tell that this...

Wasn't a lie.

Maybe I let my guard down, maybe my lie detector skills went down because of my headache, but I swear, this felt like the truth.

The tears continued flowing, and I gripped the back of Shuichi's shirt, letting him hold me close.

Usually I'd be the one to go in for hugs.

So... He really does feel the same way.

...

A few hours passed, my doctor came in discussing suicidal tendencies, but I reassured her that it was a one time thing.

I hoped.

She refilled my pills, yet gave them to Shuichi, telling him he should keep a closer eye on me.

But this time it was different.

I don't have to take them every day anymore.

She said I could take them anytime I panic, or when I need help sleeping.

Only one of course.

But it felt as if with Shuichi by my side, I wouldn't need help sleeping.

We left the hospital later that night, and once we reached the dorm, we laid in bed, with Shuichi not letting me go.

I didn't mind.

I hoped this wasn't a lie.

HI. this was a filler. maybe. idk. its not done yet, dont worry my compadres. i found out i have an iq of 143. thats pretty tight. i heard its like,,,, over average. im not really surprised, im quite cool if i do say myself- just kidding. well, no, not kidding about the iq part, but i do feel like a dumbass sometimes. anyways!! i hope you enjoyed!! stay safe, take care, i luv u all! -teef