Salt Simulator: A Salt AU

A Homage, Perhaps?

I decided-

> kill Pepper (-20%)

Are you really sure you want to do this, Salt? You do realize you can't take this back. Like, forever and ever and ever, until you die.

Well, don't I have a good reason for this? Pepper destroyed my heart and my trust, so she deserves to die. 

But, she's your sister and BFF! You'd basically be dead inside without her. Do you really want this?

Yes!!!!!

Ok, fine. Go ahead. You'll be sorry later, Salt. Nananana, I told you so. Your mind is bullying you, how sad!

Fine. I'll do it, just to prove you wrong, mind!

I climbed out of the vents, clutching the pocket knife in my hand. Pepper was already in there, showering and humming an insufferable tune. Probably a Spoiled Lemon tune- Seriously, killing her would be too easy.  Showering at a party, tho? Pepper must have royally screwed up for that to happen.

"Mmmmmmm.....a party that's never ending!"

Oh shoot! Put on some gloves, Salt! That way, your fingerprints won't be at the crime scene, whatever that is.

Right. Grabbing some of Pepper's gloves she had on at the party, I was ready to commit the perfect crime.

"La de di do do... hey, where'd the bar of soap go? Oh, it's right here. Good."

Soon, it'd be all over. Soon, Pepper would be all gone, out of the way, and the competition would be lowered. OJ could finally notice the truth that was staring him down in the face. He would be mine.

Positioning myself behind the shower, Pepper's humming got louder, only aggravating me more and more. This is what she get's for messing with my OJ.

"..."

Holding the knife tightly in my right hand, I positioned it to align with Pepper's back. But first, I had to make a hole in the aluminum shower wall.

"... Huh. Feels like someone's watching me. ...Oh well. Pepper, you're just being paranoid. Paranoia is ugly, too."

Everything's all ready to go. Pepper, see you on the other side.

Ripping through the wall, I carved into Pepper's back with the knife.

"AAAAAAGH! OW! HOLY SPICE OUCHIE OUCH!"

Pepper was bleeding out really badly...Do I really want to finish this? Yes, you do, Salt. So, I slit her back multiple more times.

Pepper slunk down, dead as a dead person could be. Finally, she's out of my life. But, I still need to make it look like I didn't do this. Murder is not a fashion statement. Luckily, the shower's still going, so I'll clean up here.

There, it's all cleaned up now. Should I leave the body here?

...

...

Of course I should. Besides, this is a warning to anyone who tries messing with my OJ. So, let's make it look like an actual, like real serial killer did it. This killing reminds me of that one killer, Genocide Jack...

Ah well. Time to head back to the party, right?

Act calm... there.

For the rest of the night, I felt a little woozy, but I had a good time. OJ seemed to be very happy, and Baseball and Nickel kept on quick changing. Losers.

So, I walked home by myself, made up a lie to my parents that Pepper was going out with her friends to Denny's, which was pretty reliable, and then went to bed.

Overall, I had a pretty good time. But nobody gets in the way of me and my OJ.

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(You've unlocked the Purgatory Mansion, readers! The Purgatory Mansion is where objects in this story go after they've died. Also, this is where you can ask them questions in the comments of the chapter. The only ones here right now are Bow, Dough, Pepper, and Pastatown for some reason.)

Pepper: How did I get here-

Pastatown: I don't know, this is your first rodeo with death, I'm guessing.

Pepper: I'm DEAD?!?!

Bow: Yeah! Someone killed you! Isn't that horrible?

Pepper: Wow...do you know who it was?

Dough: No.

Bow: No.

Pastatown: Maybe. Seems kind of obvious, to be honest.

Pepper: So, what do I do now that I'm dead?

Bow: Well, I just text people.

Pastatown: I write fanfiction while waiting for the dirt to slowly reclaim me.

Dough: I possess hamburgers.

Pepper: Ugh! You guys are all nerds!

Pastatown: None taken.

Bow: Well, I answer questions in comments.

Pepper: Wow, that sounds like so much fun.

Pastatown: Ask Dough, Bow, Pepper and I questions because we're bored!

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WEEK ONE: END!