Banana Fish AshxEiji

~part one~

A/N

Hello! thank you for reading my story, I'm sorry that the chapters are quite short. This story was originally just one long story without different part/chapters but I wanted to publish it so I had to split it up. Anyway that's all bye!

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I still cook your favorite meals. Every night. I leave you a plate right across from mine. You've never gotten the chance to eat it. Every morning I wake up to see your plate untouched.

I know you're dead. That you got stabbed. I tried to fly back to see you one last time. Ibe-san wouldn't let me, he said I wouldn't come back. He was right. I would've stayed with you. Forever. Just like I promised.

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I clutch your red sweatshirt, I bought it for you. Tears steadily stream down my face as the memories flood back into my mind. I slowly pull it on over my head and over my bare chest,it smells like vanilla and burnt wood. It smells like you. I try walking to my bed to lay down but everything around me starts spinning, suddenly I'm on my knees, the edges of my vision go black and I can't hold on anymore.

come back to me Ash

please

I wake up on my floor and instantly sit up in a panic, pain shooting through my skull. I groan and bring a hand up to my head rubbing my temples trying to ease the pain. I shakely and slowly stand up using the wall as support, I hobble into the cramped bathroom attached to my room. I look up at myself in the cracked mirror. I haven't bothered to buy a new one since I broke this one a few months ago. My parents bought me a studio apartment in a small japanese town called Kamakura, the town I grew up in. They think I'm pursuing photography with Ibe-san but I haven't been able to take a single photo since I heard about your death.

My hair has grown out to my shoulders and I haven't washed it in weeks, there's a 5 o'clock shadow forming on the lower half of my face. I never was able to grow facial hair, you always commented on that, saying I wasn't, 'man enough.' I sigh at the dark bags that have formed underneath my eyes, I slowly turn around to the old shower that hasn't been used in weeks. I hesitantly shifted the handle turning the water to cold, you always thought it was weird that I liked cold showers. They make me feel more alive, keeping me in reality. Maybe this will bring me back. I reluctantly take your sweatshirt off, instantly a tear falls from my eye and onto the off -white stained tiles, there's a lack of your presence. I numbly take the rest of my clothes off and step into the shower. The ice cold water falls quickly onto my head, then chest, then back, then legs, then feet. I feel nothing.

I wonder if you're disappointed in me for spending the last 4 months since your death went public stuck in my apartment. I haven't said anything to anyone except a few quiet "thank yous" to Ibe-san every week for bringing me food. I miss you Ash. You meant everything to me, I simply don't know how I wake up every morning knowing that I wont see you again.