Banana Fish AshxEiji

~part twenty-three~

I don't feel right, I woke up at four in the morning today and couldn't fall back asleep. Ash woke up at six in the morning and told me he wasn't tired anymore. Something feels wrong. Ash and I layed in bed holding each other until about eight when I get up to make breakfast, my mind feels foggy. I give up on trying to remember any of my recipes, everything feels like it's moving too fast but I move slow. I walk into our bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror, trying to feel like myself. It feels like I'm in a dream.

My face looks weird but I can't pinpoint why, it just looks off. You walk in behind me and I watch your face in the reflection, it twists into a pained frown tears silently falling from your eyes. I turn around to try and grab your hand but you're not there anymore, I panic and quickly turn to the mirror again but I cant see myself, i'm not there. My heart starts racing and sweat beads from on my forehead, it hurts really bad. A sudden feeling of falling takes over and my stomach flips, making me nauseous. What's happening? My vision goes black but I'm still conscious, my head feels like it's closing in on itself.

I stare at the blurry ceiling my laying flat against the hard floor, where am I? I feel a searing pain in both my wrists, I look down to see dark red blood covering the dingy kitchen floors surrounding my wrists. It wasn't real. You weren't real. None of it was real. I painfully move my head to the side to see my empty apartment. Tears slowly roll down the sides of my face, I feel my heart fall apart. I feel myself slipping further and further away from reality.

I think of you, I think of us, I think of everything we could have been and everything we were. I think about how maybe if you were given more time I would have healed your soul and pieced your heart back together. I think about who I was, I was just a random Japanese boy who happened to meet a blonde stranger with jade green eyes. I think about how it's going to be okay now, it's going to be better.

I close my eyes and pretend I'm just taking a quick nap. It feels good to know I get to see you again, I smile. I smile and I fall asleep.

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I never saw you again. But we are together. I'm not with Ash because I'm not Eiji. I'm not anyone. I'm a soul, just like you. I learned from you, you learned from me. I'll see you again.

I love you.

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