Selenva (Under Edit)

Chapter twenty-four

Chapter twenty-four

I could feel the wet earth under neath me. It is not that I can't move from exhaustion, but because I don't want to move. The fact that my best friend is dead, and my other best friend seems to hate me, I just don't want to try right now. Maybe this is what I deserve? Why do I feel like everything is going to hell around me? Aiden is terrible! I don't love him! I don't love him! I can't! I let out some more anger by pinching my legs. They must be numb be cause of the cold. I didn't feel anything!

If that is true then why do I feel like this? I wouldn't feel like this is I hadn't thought Id loved him. I did but after all this love doesn't matter any more. I can't! I won't! I refuse to love him and the death he causes around him! I wish I had never met him! I wish I had never welcomed him into my body! Let alone into my heart! How could I have been so stupid? I was so blind because of his mysterious darkness, that I failed to see him for what he truly is! A murderer! He killed my best friend! 

The anger building inside me stoped my tears. I lifted my head up out of the mud and looked up to see  a mustang parked right next to me. When did he get here? "Selenva! Are you okay? What happened?" Derek asked moving himself around me. He had on a white tee shirt that was getting covered by the heavy rain, showing his muscles through it. My heart skipped a beat. I focused all my attention on his voice, relising I should be talking to him right now. "where did you go one moment you were there...the next gone." He said.

"I...Uhh.." I stammered starting to shiver. "I've been driving around looking for you! Where did you go?" He asked looking at my hand. The blood was covered with mud from punching the ground. He looked down at my face with concern. He looked at my hand more closely to examine the damage. "You'll be alright. We should get going, you look frozen." He said. Look at me? Look at him! I ordered myself. He is what is good and sweet!  I tried to make myself move....but got nothing. I could feel my legs still protesting. 

He stood up turning his head around looking in each direction. What is he doing? I watched him move over to the mustang and pop open the passenger side door. He turned to look back down on me his face moving from concerned to....upset? "Get in." Was all he said. To be honest it was all he needed to say. I could feel the warmth from inside the car reaching out to me. I tried once again to command my legs to move. They didn't.

He moved closer to me reaching his hand out. I did as he wished and took it. What I didn't expect was for him to pull me with such force practically throwing me at the car. I landed with his hand still in mine as he pulled my lower half on to the seat. The heater was on full blast making my body turn from a popsicle to a melted one. I could feel make cheeks heating up and the smell of mud rising off of me. I need to shower!

Once he was inside the car it sped off. I looked out side the window ashamed of myself. How could I let Derek see me like this? What does he think of me now? Do I really want to know- interrupting my thoughts he told me, "I called the cops like I told you I would. I convinced them into checking out Aiden. They came to the hospital and looked over Sarah's body, which is what took me so long. They also got to read the toxicity report, I think that helped move it along. The police said they would immediately investigate. So I went back out into the waiting room to tell you. " His lips perched shut. 

He is defiantly mad at me for skipping out. I can understand why, you know with everything going on.   "I'm sorry about leaving. Dallas yelled at me making me feel horrible, so I just took off. I had to leave, it's bad enough that I lost...Sarah." Saying her name made my heart tighten, I struggled to hold back my tears before continuing, "And Dallas turning on me saying hurt-full shit...Was just to much for me. I had to leave." I felt my heart fluttering around and not in a good way.

Derek looked over at me then back out the window. "I understand that babe. But what I don't understand is why I found you near Aiden apartment." He said gripping the wheel tightly. I could see his jaw line tensing and before I knew it I started crying. I feel like I need to explain myself...But how? I took a deep breath and said, "I wasn't thinking. I made a mistake. I'm sorry Derek. You don't deserve this from me." I knew that came out sound a lot more miserable than I meant it to.

He loosened his grip and his jaw line recisded to it's normal postion of calm. He turned to look at me and smiled. "I get it." Was all he said. I could feel my stomach tighten with anxiety as I took a dep breath to make the pain less. "Where are we going?" I asked. He looked down at me and calmly said, "You need a shower." I felt the car come to a complete stop. I looked out the window and was relieved to see my shit colored home still in place. "Your right." I said smiling leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. 

I hoped out of the car and turned back to ask, " Are you coming in?"  He smiled and said, "Not right now. I have to go back to work babe. I will call you afterwards though okay?" I smiled and replied with a silent nod. I turned and started walking to the front door, thank-full my legs were actually moving again. A hot shower is just what I need! I opened the door to see my mother standing there with her mouth hanging wide open at me. 

Shit! What do I tell her? " I-" She cut me off by running over to me and pulling me close to her. She was warm and welcoming...and crying? "Mom whats going? Are you okay?" I asked feeling worried. "Selenva.Sweetie, I'm so sorry! Sarah who could have ever thought this could happen?" She asked empty knowing I wouldn't reply. "Honey are you going to be okay?" She asked me. I took a second before replying, "Yes. I will be after time mom. Thank you. I judt need to sleep and relax a little." Said. I also didn't want to bring attention to what I was wearing...mud!

"I under stand seety go ahead and hop into a shower and get rested up. Your father won't be home for a few days he had to leave town for the week for work. Some brand new staff down in Spruce needs training." She said tucking a strand of hair behing my ear. That is not a bad thing necisaryly at this moment if he saw me like this things would be going a lot deffirent right now. "Okay, love you mom." I said grabbing her in for one more quick hug.  I ran down the hallway into my bathroom and turned to the on full blast, and stripped off my wet clothes.