Selenva (Under Edit)

Chapter twenty-three

Chapter twenty-three                                                                                                         {Selenva}

I have been running for what seems like hours. Only thoughts of Sarah and Dallas on my mind. I can't believe Dallas could say that to me! I loved Sarah more than anything! She was my best firend! My feet picked up the pace. I kept running ; I have to run.  I don't know where to go or what to do! All I know is I must keep running. My tears don't come as fast as the pain does. My heart hurts worse and worse though with each step that I take. 

How could this have happened? I refuse to think it was my fault! How could he turn on me like that! I thought stopping, feeling my heart beating erratically. How does some one just died like that out of no where?! How could I loose both of my best friends in one night? I lifted my head to find myself standing in front of Aiden's apartment. How did I get here?

Why out of all places did I end up here? I thought feeling the tears streaming down my face turning cold. I took a deep breath and decided to march right up the stairs. I am going to give him a good piece of my mind! Dallas believes he did this to Sarah? How could he have? Even if he did I am going to see if I can figure out if he had anything to do with it.  Okay... but How? Shit! 

I walked up each step debating on, how I could find something like this out? Once the door was in my view I took a deep breath and quieted my mind. I will have to be very careful about this! I reached my right arm out and knocked on it.  Knock! One knock was all it took and the door creaked open on its own. I had expected to see Aiden open it, but instead it opened on its own making my curiosity wake.

"Hum... Aiden? Aiden are you there?" I asked waiting for a reply. There was nothing so I let my curiosity get the best of me and pushed the door open completely. The apartment that once was bare and gloomy, now had pictures hung up all over it. I could feel my forehead crease as I thought to myself what is all this? I walked up to the closest image strung up in the middle of the living room. There was a girl that looked to familiar, a school that looked to familiar, and a face that was my own.

It felt like my heart sank into my chest as I realized the girl I was staring at  was me. I was no younger than fourteen in it. I had on my favorite pair of jeans, black tank top, and the one blue streak in my hair that Dallas made me do as a dare. I pulled it down off of the string and moved to the next one on his couch. I leaned down seeing another picture of me sitting in my class room. How the fuck did he get these?

I ripped it off the couch and kicked over at the ones on the table with frustration. What the hell is all of this? Why does he have all these? How does he have all these? I moved past the living room into his kitchen seeing seeing the refrigerator covered with more pictures of me! What the fuck?! How many of these does he have? I moved away from the refrigerator feeling nauseous. I looked down the hallway seeing them hanging like streamers in a row. 

Anger bit at me deep in my gut I took off running down the hallway ripping them down one by one. Hot tears covered my face and my heart felt like it was ripping out of my chest. Is this what he meant? I can't believe this! I can't believe I slept with my own fucking stoker! I got to the bedroom door and pushed it open. Every where I looked was covered in more and more pitchers of me. Some of me walking into my house, and some with me sleeping in my bed with my Yoda pillow cut out of  them all. 

I could feel the acid rising in my gut. Time to puke? I tried to shake the feeling  while opening his dresser. Inside the first one was a stack of painting. I pulled one out seeing a picture of Sarah and I on my mattress at home!  There was more than one painting of Sarah and I looking from when we first started staying the night together. That did it for me I knelt down on the floor and let the puke pour out.

I feel so sick! How could I have been so blind? Dallas is right! I know he's right now! It is all my fault how could I have let someone like this into my life? Into my heart? I lifted myself up off the floor worry making my legs move at a fast pace. I have to get the hell out of here! I have to leave before he catches me! I bolted back down the hallway and out the front door with out looking back. 

I ran down the steps carefully trying to pay attention to each one so I wouldn't fall. When I stepped onto the last one I felt like I hit a brick wall. I looked up to see Aiden holding me in his arms. He looked worried. I felt so sick even being near him. His hands on my arms were the only thing that felt right for a reason I couldn't figure.

"What's wrong Selenva? Why are you crying?" He asked me letting his gaze travel up to his door. I heard him take a deep breath; he knows I saw everything. I pushed his arms off me and ran past him only to be stopped by him wiping me around to look at him. "Listen Selenva I get it! I can explain everything!" He yelled as I tried to scramble away from him. "Dallas was right!" I screamed at him giving up my fight. 

I feel drained, running, and pucking are not in my exercise plan! I have to get away from him! He looks horrible to me. His eyes are darker than hell its self! He looks like the most wicked yet beautiful thing I have ever seen! Fuck I have to leave before he sucks me into his lies again! "I have to leave! Let me go Aiden!" I screamed pushing him away from me once more. 

In the distance behind my struggle I heard police sirens going off. Derek must have called the cops on him like he said he would to me at the hospital. I looked up at  Aiden to see his face fall with confusion. "You called the cops on me? How could you do that to me?" He asked staring down at me. I tried pulling away from him to finally feel his hands loosen their grips.

I was not going to answer him, even though I didn't call them. I should have listened to everyone! How could I be so stupid? The sirens sounded near, he started grumbling to himself. "Okay look Selenva I will come and find you. I have to leave now. Just remember I love you!" He yelled pushing at me to leave.  How dare him just say that! "Really Aiden? You love me? You sure have a wicked way of showing it!" I screamed as I took off praying my feet wouldn't fail me now. 

I will never see him again! I don't care if he says he will come to find me! "He can't if he goes to prison!" I yelled to myself as I felt my legs burning, begging me to stop running, but I kept on. My heart felt ten billion times heavier than normal as it slammed in to my chest. I felt the tears fall down all I could do was wish everything could have been different. 

I should never have meant him! I wish he was never in my life! Sarah would still be here! I lost both of my best friends!  "Shit!" I cried as I fell to my knees in the mud. The rain started to come pouring down on me as I laid here feeling sorry for myself, for everything, and most of all for Sarah. How am I going to survive without her? How am I going to survive without Dallas? I love them both so much it hurts! I felt the stabbing pain in my side move into my heart. A image of her flickered in my mind of her lying on Dallas's bed un-moving.

I couldn't find strength in my arms or my legs to make myself move. I laid there in the mud as rain fell down on me masking my tears. I don't want to feel this way any more! I can't believe I loved him! It is my fault! My fault! I killed my best friend! I cried as I slammed my fist into the muddy concrete. I don't know what to do! This can'r be my fault! It can't be! The sickness came back into my stomach as I finally realized why I felt sick. I still don't want to believe it was Aidens fault.