Cypher {Suga X Reader}

The Reality of Dependence

Laughter. Joy. Emotion. Company

These are all things I've missed deeply...

The sound of drinks clinking as Namjoon shouts "cheers", and the faint chattering of the boys fills my ears.

It's been 3 and a half months since my unfortunate yet fortunate encounter with Namjoon and Yoongi in that alleyway, and my pathetic display of weakness when I walked into their apartment to live in until I'm able to provide enough for myself.

Things have been alright to say the least.. Namjoon has been as hospitable as he can, always making me feel welcome and wanted. Yoongi has consistently continued to boldly display his annoyance with my presence, although he has been actually conversing with me at least twice a week..

Certainly an improvement

I've become pretty friendly with Jin, Jungkook and Taehyung, and we clown around constantly.

Jimin and I exchange friendly greetings once in a while, although our interactions most often stop at that.

I guess I just can't seem to act normal around him yet-

My thought are interrupted by a somewhat drunk Jimin waving at me to get my attention,

"What is it?" I ask in confusion, as he rarely initiates conversation.

"I want you to- no need you to- no want- anyway, I just want to let you know.. I wish you'd fuck off." Jimin slurred.

My stunned expression was met with his dull but blazing eyes, his serious appearance...

"What are you-" Namjoon began,

"Shut up and let me finish" Jimin continued, "y/n, you're a damn nuisance. You don't belong with us, you're not one of us, you'll never be one of us."

"Jimin shut your fucking mouth" Taehyung snarled,

"You've disrupted our group, I hate it." Jimin went on without paying any attention to anyone else,

My body froze in shock from the harsh words that were coming out of my bias's mouth,

"So please, fuck off." He finishes, before gulping down the remains of his soju and beer.

He's.... like a completely different person...

The room went into silence, as everyone just stared back and forth from Jimin to myself. My mind suddenly jerked awake, the words finally seeping into my conscious like smoke absorbing into my lungs.. So poisonous and painful.

"Jimin what the hell is wrong with you?" I barely make out Taehyungs voice from the silence I've created around me.

Taehyung grabs Jimin by the arm whilst he continuously grazes his piercing eyes against my own, and forces him out of the room we were all seated at.

I feel a hand on my shoulder which causes me to look up from the floor and to my right where I felt the touch come from. I'm met with a concerned expression on Yoongi's face.

"Are you okay?" He sighs, "Listen, I don't like you either, but what Jimin said was a bit harsh."

"Yoongi.." I hear Namjoon's voice warn.

I force a smile on my face and greet the rest of the 5 boys with it.

"It's okay, he's completely right.." I begin, "Ive causes a lot of discomfort around here, I'm not part of your group.." my voice is cut off by my racing thoughts of Jimin's harshly blunt words.

"No, stop." Namjoon's faint voice beckons.

"It's alright, really!" I try to put on a performance of reassurance, "I'm kind of tired though, so I think I'll go to bed. Goodnight everyone, enjoy the night" I flash one last faint smile as I quickly pick my heavy body up and walk out, battling through the tears forming in my eyes.

His words shouldn't have gotten to me this much, why am I crying about this?

I guess it was so sudden.. so different... so scary..

But Jimin is right, he's completely right, I'm like a leech that's just taking advantage of the host... I've completely let myself go.. It's been 3 months and I've gotten close to nowhere...

I weakly open the closed door to my room as my mind continues to belittle myself and give into my self induced pressure. My alcohol induced state had completely snapped back to reality as soon as Jimin uttered those words.

It's gone from laughter, joy, emotion and company...
to the reality of dependence ...