Cypher {Suga X Reader}

Words

I sit in my room, on the bed, headphones in and staring at the wall. Jimin never elaborated on his second confession. "The Last" from the AgustD album plays into my ears.

Yoongi hasn't come into my room like he usually does..

The routinely sounds of cicadas are much more piercing than they used to be; in this lonely room everything is extremely loud.

Okay, let's go annoy Yoongi, he can't sleep forever

I get up and make my way to his room, to which I find a tightly shut door, but to no surprise. I knock, but to no response.

Is he really asleep?

I enter anyway, only to find him seated at his desk; with his headphones plugged in, he lay his head on the edge of the desk.

I quietly tip toe towards him, though even if I stomped at my loudest, he probably wouldn't even flinch. He appeared lost in thought.

"MinYoongi" I quietly call out, and as predicted, receive no response.

In attempt to get his attention I stand behind him and lightly tap his head, though he doesn't respond to that either. At my second attempt, Yoongi jumps at what was to him a sudden feeling of someone touching him, and in a split second turns around and grabs my arm.

"Oh, it's just you y/n.." He sighs, "You startled me"

He didn't call me babe like usual...

"Sorry! But you didn't notice me when I walked in, or when I tapped you the first time" I giggle in response.

I feel Yoongi's grip on my arm tighten, and my body reciprocates with a slight flinch, but I don't say anything. His eyes are listless as usual, but yet they blaze like an unkempt fire.

"Are you okay?" I ask, concerned at his sudden quietness.

"Y-yeah.." he mumbles, and after a few seconds he finally releases my arm.

I walk over to the bed and take a seat by the edge, eyeing Yoongi, and I can't seem to figure him out for the life of me.

"You didnt come to the dance room?" I mutter, and he isn't looking at me.

"Oh, yeah.. I was, uh- I was tired.." his response is barely audible.

"Yoongi. Is everything okay? Is work too stressful?" I pry, but to no reply. "You need to talk to me when you feel things, I want to know, I want to listen. You can't always deal with everything on your own".

"You're so annoying..", I hear him whisper to himself.

Is he mad..? At what?!

"Yoongi!" I unintentionally raise my voice, annoyed at his lack of expression.

"Don't shout at me!" and his voice quickly escalated, practically screaming back. His eyes are wide awake and they're burning with emotion.

Calm down, calm down, calm down.....

"MinYoongi! Stop acting like a fucking child!" but I can't really calm down.

Why do I have to guess every damn emotion he feels?!

"Shut up.." he mutters and I'm reminded of the night he lost it, though I thought that was primarily due to him being under the influence.

"You're a fucking grown man aren't you?" I snap,

to which he slams his fist onto the table and his responses escalate rapidly as he went from being quiet and lost in thought to being overly expressive and angry and he gets up and he shouts something else but I can't really make it out.

But for some reason, I'm not that scared.

"What do you know about me?!" he growls, "You know my birthday and you know that I'm a Pisces, but what do you really know about me?"

His eyes burn into my soul as he stares fiercely into mine.

"...You want to know why I'm fucking like this? Because I'm a god damn greedy bastard that wants everything for myself!" He continue shouting and this time papers are flying everywhere and his chair has fallen onto the floor and he's hitting random things.

"...and because I can't ever do anything fucking right and I'm not as good looking as Jimin and I'm not as talented as Namjoon and because I can never be..." and he grabs my arm again and holds it tightly in his clasp.

"..I'll never be secure", his voice cracks slightly.

"Yoongi" I say his name once again, this time taking a second to breathe and contain my emotions, "It's okay to feel these things, but please, don't kill your self over them"

The fire ablaze in Yoongi's eyes dies down in an instant, and he lets go of my arm, falling onto his knees in front of me.

"I'm scared of myself..." he mumbles through his broken voice, "I'm sorry I grabbed your hand.."

But I'm not scared or mad anymore.

I gently lift his face from the floor and towards mine, staring into his sunken eyes, attempting to figure out what he's feeling.

"It's okay, it's all okay" I coo in a soft whisper as I stroke his head, "What is it?"

Yoongi doesn't elaborate despite my prying, and I don't continue to pry any further. We sit together on the bed,

"You may be scared of yourself, but I'll never be scared of you", I tell him as I hold his shaking hand.

"...I love you so much", the words come out of his mouth as if they were not meant for me to be heard.

And in his room, we stay together, in the moonlight that engulfs us, with no need for any more words.