A little bit of evil

What if I shine?

Yes, it is a song from a Barbie movie, I used to be a big fan and in my defense it fit well with my plot so...don't judge. 

Christeen...

"Are you ready?" Jane asked from her spot next to me. We were standing by the door from which Mal and Ben came in. She was here as some sort of moral support and insurance that I won't run off. Not that I could, I think that in these heels I won't be able to walk towards those stairs. 

The show is about to start in a mere second and my heart is racing. Creating a fast-paced beat that will be ruining my rhythm completely once I start playing the slow-paced song. Well...then I should try something else. 

"Let's do this," I nodded to Jane and she smiled at me pushing me a bit forward towards the door. She stepped out of the way and I stepped towards the door with my guitar hanging by my side. My steps were a bit wobbly because c'mon, me, and heels? Not a good combo. I nodded to Jane signaling that she can turn on my podcast. Once the music started playing I grabbed onto my guitar and slowly started singing in slow tempo, trying to ignore my rapid heartbeat.

I spend too much time thinking about who I'm supposed to be
I  play by everybody's rules that don't seem right to me
I'm  cool and polite, on the outside
When I get a chance, I run and I hide
If your eyes are closed, it's hard to see

The door was still closed creating an effect of mystery while I sang. My voice was filling the whole deck but I didn't see the reaction of the people. Too bad I can't do the whole thing like this. 

What  if I back down now
'Cause I'm afraid of what might happen
What  if they turn away
When I show them who I truly am
What if I lose my breath
When I throw those big doors open
Or  tonight, just tonight
What if I shine?

I nodded to Jane, she seemed to be my main stage man today. She pushed the doors open and I stepped out revealing myself to the audience. I walked towards the steps, leaning onto the banister, and I adjusted my hat on top of my head to cover my face slightly. Just for the effect of it. Also for the fact that I was too afraid to look directly at anyone. I took a stronger hold of my guitar and started playing at a quicker tempo. 

Should I even care?
They're all sitting there, and everyone's staring at me
If I step out in the spotlight, maybe I'll be set free

What  if I back down now
'Cause I'm afraid of what might happen
What  if they turn away
When I show them who I truly am
What if I lose my breath
When I throw those big doors open
Or  tonight, just tonight
What if I shine?
I... shine...

I threw my hat off, feeling the rhythm of the music taking over me completely. The hat flew in the crowd and I saw Maddox catch it with a grin. He put it on his head. He looked like his dad at that moment. I grinned and kept on playing. I slowly started stepping down the stairs. Slowly due to my wobbly walk. No heels next time and I mean it. 

I spend too much time thinking about who I'm supposed to be

I noticed Carlos in the crowd next to Evie, Jay, Mal, and Ben. He was looking up at me with a giant smile on his face and he nodded slightly to me when he caught me looking at him. How can just that small gesture give me so much confidence? 

But what if I sing out loud?
Because anything can happen
What if I stand up proud
And I show them who I truly am?
They're gonna call my name
And I'll throw these big doors open
'Cause tonight, just tonight
I'm gonna shine
I...shine...

I finished the song, standing in the middle of the ship. My gaze cast downwards, terrified of the reaction I might get now. I also was quite out of breath. It was a long journey down those stairs. How did they get so many stairs on the ship in the first place? 

I froze when I didn't hear any reaction coming from the crowd, but that didn't take long before the crowd broke into mad applause. Didn't know they liked it that much. But it made me so happy, hearing some positive feedback on my hard work. I allowed myself to look up and smile at the audience. I locked eyes with the group of all my friends minus Jane cause she was preparing special effects for the next song but everyone else was there. 

Mal and Evie were applauding while grinning and yelling encouraging words. Ben was cheering so loud that Lonnie who stood next to him had to cover her ears but she was still smiling. Jay showed me thumbs up with his signature smirk in place and I had to chuckle at that. Whitley, who stood next to Evie was on the edge of tears. Did I really make her cry?

 My eyes moved next to her to see Cavan comforting Whitley slightly. Next to the two of them Adam and Maddox were yelling loudly jumping up and down. I don't know how but they managed to make a banner. Some people are clearly out of their hat. The last one I looked at was Carlos. 

Carlos was looking at me in pure adoration and pride in his eyes. He winked at me and mouthed those words on the base of 'I told you so' which made me roll my eyes. He then sent me a kiss which I pretended to catch. Cheesy as that sounds at that moment I didn't care about anyone else than him. Seeing him smile at me and enjoy the show meant everything. 

But it was time to get back to reality because Jane's voice in my headpiece was persistent. 

"C, it was good and all but there are other songs we need to move on so chop, chop," She said hurriedly and I could practically see her scolding posture. I rolled my eyes and turned to the crowd. 

"You didn't think this was the end, did you?" 

It may not be the end completely, but it is the end of this book. Sorry, this last chapter is short. But to make up for that I will try to publish the third book supper fast, just for you guys. I hope you will stay tuned for that