A little bit of evil

Let's be me

Christeen...

Was I wrong when I said I wanted to stop trying to be perfect? What if Carlos will not want me now that he knows I am not like what he dreamt I was. What will happen when he figures out he doesn't love the real me? Is the love I feel for him really worth that much to not be who I am? Or should I test his love by being who I am...who I'm meant to be?

Everyday I run a race
Just trying to get ahead
Don't think about where I am now
Just where I want to be instead
I'm losing so much precious time
But will I be satisfied in the end
Oh, in the end

I walked out of the music room locking it behind me as I started walking towards the park.

I don't wanna spend my life
Trying to fight for what's not mine
I don't wanna lose myself
In someone else's dream
I know I was made with a purpose
To reach past the surface
To live life fearlessly
I want nothing less
Than to be who I'm meant to be

Once in the park I saw a bunch of Auradon kids running around, Adalyn was one of them and she waved at me happily, when she saw me. I smiled and waved back but continued in my mindless walk.

Everyone is on their way
But I am standing still
Comparing my behind the scenes
Against their highlight reel
I'm burning so much energy
Won't let it keep
Distracting me anymore

I reached the lake and stared at my reflection in it. I still had a beanie over my head and so I pulled it off. My ears were still out because I forgot to pull them in. I almost forgot how I looked with them. They seemed to add a new color, instead of only lavender they now had turquoise tips. It looked really good. Maybe I can finally let myself be me, despite what others might think.

I don't wanna spend my life
Trying to fight for what's not mine
I don't wanna lose myself
In someone else's dream
I know I was made with a purpose
To reach past the surface
To live life fearlessly
I want nothing less
Than to be who I'm meant to be

Nothing less than
Who I'm meant to be
Live life with purpose
Reach past the surface
It's who I'm meant to be

I don't wanna spend my life
Trying to fight for what's not mine
I don't wanna lose myself
In someone else's dream
I know I was made with a purpose
To reach past the surface
To live life fearlessly
I want nothing less
I want nothing less
Than to be who I'm meant to be

I was walking through the gardens not too far from the amphitheater. I just wanted to see if the girls were already finished and if not I could do with some training. Maybe it will help me get my stress at bay. Suddenly from the side, I was attacked by none other than Carlos. He was still wearing his R.O.A.R uniform which indicated he just now finished training. He literally jumped through the bushes to get to me.

"Christeen, Chris, love," Carlos yelled frantically almost knocking me over.

"Woah, easy there," I gasped in shock when he grabbed onto my arms to help me maintain my stability.

"I need to speak with you," Carlos started and I thought I knew what he was about to say so I cut him off.

"Let me speak first please..."

"But Christeen..."

"No! Let me speak. I know that I disappointed you by not being as you imagined and I am sorry I let you down. I am sorry I went to the Isle without your consent, I know I risked so much by doing so and I brought all of you in danger."