Dear Jazmyne 2

I Miss Who You Used To Be

I close the door behind Andrea after she leaves and go straight to the room and open the door he's packing a bag and I just stare at him he has no emotion he just tossing stuff in the bag I place my hand over his bag and he looks up at me and I  say what the fuck was that. He stops what he's doing and says what in a confused tone I say she took the time to come over here and inform you that your grandma isn't doing well and all you had to say was k and for her to leave? He looks me in my eyes with a hint of rage and says Jazmyne I'm not gonna argue with you over something that doesn't involve you while closing his suitcase and brushing past me he puts the bag in the trunk of his car comes back inside and says I'm going to see my grandma I'll call you when I make it there kisses my forehead and leaves. I close the door and sit down on the couch and say what the fuck just happened I've never seen him act like that.  I put on some running shoes grab my headphones and keys and drive to the school to use the track. I run when I'm annoyed or confused on something so I put my headphones in and and start running. I run the track for about twenty minutes to clear my mind and then sit on the bleachers and down a bottle of water. Out the corner of my eye I see someone sit down beside me and I turn to look it's Megan and I pull my headphones off and say hey. She say you run track in high school huh and I say no why would you think that she says well you most definitely should you've got some speed behind you. I laugh and say I just run when I feel like life's not going my way so I'm just running away for awhile if that makes sense. She nod and says it does you run for awhile and then back to reality and fix your problems. Glad someone else understands. She stands and says we'll it was nice seeing you if you ever want help with fitness let me know and i got you. She walks away and I stare out onto the football field for a little and then head back to the house and hop in the shower. I get out and call Adrian but his phone goes straight to voicemail. I hang up and start on my school work. I grab a snack and climb into the bed and fall asleep I wake up around one am to my phone ringing and it's Adrian so I answer it he say where you sleep I'm sorry I just wanted to call you back and let you know I was okay. I say that's fine and ask about his grandma and tell him I'm coming tomorrow to see her and he says she would love that. I end up falling back asleep on him while on FaceTime I wake up to him just looking at me and I ask if he really sat on the phone watching me sleep like a creep he laughs and says when you say it like that it sounds so wrong but you looked so peaceful. I go and brush my teeth while still talking to him and brush my hair back into a sleek ponytail and tel him I'm headed that way. He says okay I'll text you the room number and hangs up. I pull up to the hospital and go up to the room number and the doors open I go in and she's got a big smile on her face. She goes am I happy to see you it seems like forever since I seen you. I know you won't treat me like a little kid I laugh a little and peek over at Adrian and she goes yep he's in here babying me i just got a little dizzy and fell and needed a couple of stitches now he won't go away take him with you. I laugh and say you know he's stubborn I can't make him leave unless he wants to. I go over and sit by him and place my hand on his knee and ask how he's doing he sigh and says I'm worried she's starting to forget things I'm going to go stay with her until they get her a home health nurse. I don't want to leave her alone like this. I know you've just moved in and our life is just starting but I don't want her to be alone. I smile and say that sounds like a great idea I'll just miss you but we'll be together soon so it's okay. I go to walk outside the room and hear hey could you bring me some candy or cookies they keep bringing me a salad and I don't want that. I say of course and sneak off to get her a sweet treat. I go down to the cafeteria looking for something and all they have is a brownie so I grab that and a juice and go back up the elevator and take it to her telling her to eat fast I hug her and tell her I'll see her later and let Adrian know I was leaving. He's moved in with her she's been doing good the past week he's letting her do everything herself he's just there if she needs help I went and seen her the other day and she was baking cookies like nothing ever happened the love that he had for his grandma is out of this world while she's baking she starts telling me she was dreaming about some fish and I just smile because she's back to herself. She packs up me some cookies to go and I leave. I have a lot of test at school next week so I've gotta focus on that I tell them bye and head home. I've been studying for these test while still thinking about his grandma I've been texting him getting short answers she's back in the hospital and they are trying to figure out what happened and why it happened but really bringing it down to old age but she's still doing fine but they don't think she has much time. It's been three weeks since I've had an actual conversation with Adrian he hasn't answered calls or text and honestly I'm worried I've been calling texting and getting short answers his grandma didn't get any better and she's now on ventilator. I've been trying to give him space but at the same time I want to be there for him. But I let it slide because I know he's going through something and people handle that differently. I plan on going by to visit when I leave school today. I go home and change into comfortable clothes and head that way I stop by the desk to make sure she can have visitors at the moment and go up to her room. I walk in and she's hooked up to all kinds of machines and my face softens and she looks at me with a small smile. The door opens behind me and it's Adrian he doesn't say anything but what are you doing here? My mouth falls open I'm confused as to why he's talking to me like that. I say excuse me? He simply reply's what are you doing I cut him off and say well I came to check on you because you hadn't been answering my calls or at least texting me back I wanted to make sure you were okay. He changes his tone and says yea cause I didn't want to be bothered normally when people don't answer the people calling get the hint. I look at him two seconds from cussing him out and he says you can leave tho cause I don't want nor need you here not sure why you even showed up take the hint I don't want your help if I did I would have called you. Tears well up in my eyes and I stare at him for a moment while he looks at me with a blank stare and I take my ring off and say fuck you and give it to him and say that's perfectly fine I don't need this either because I thought with that ring we would be there for one another but you don't want me here or in you life apparently. I walk out the door without looking back I go straight to the house and pack my things and clean my face so it doesn't look like I've been crying and head to the school to see if I can get a room I text kloe and asked her if there was a way I could get a single room by tonight. She says yes and that she'll text me when she gets the key and I take Roxie with me. I get there and when I pull up she texts me to meet her at the dorms that look like apartments and I pull up over there and she hands me a little thing to hang in my car for parking and shows me to my room it's on the third floor we walk up the steps and she opens the door it's fully furnished and I love that I didn't have to go find anything with such short notice. She hands me the key and says let me know if you need anything else. I put Roxie in her cage and go down to grab my bag and bring it up so I can get my notebook and make a list of what I need to get from the store. Other than a new comforter and food. I go grab the few things I need and go back to the room. I try and make myself comfortable and not think about the situation I grab Roxie and her leash and head to the track I tie her to the bleachers and just start running no music so I can hear what's going on with her and just keep running I'm slowing down because I'm out of breath I go and sit by Roxie while downing some water and it's dark outside the only light is the lights surrounding the track I sit for ten minutes and then start to run again on my fifth lap I hear footsteps running with me at this point I don't want to be bothered so I speed up just a little to pull away and go around two more time just on the third time to see the guy from the basketball court standing there breathing all hard I stop and look at him and say uh you good and he laughs and says you're a very hard person to keep up with I say we'll when you want to be alone you keep your distance. I sit down on the bleachers and Roxie  runs up to me and jumps in my lap he's standing there being weird to be honest. So I clear my throat and say Um. & he looks offended and says Kd I laugh and say I was getting there I've got a lot on my mind I didn't forget a new face. He laughs and says sure my hair is falling in my face so I pull it all back into a ponytail and look up at him and say soo is there something I can help you with or you just came to bug me. He laughs and says no I saw someone running on the way back to my room and wanted to see what was up. I laugh and say nothing just taking a run to feel the breeze and relax he smirks and says of course he says well if you're feeling down I know this great burger place that has unique milkshakes as well. If your down and your fiancé is okay with it while looking at my hand. I look at him and say he still exists I had to take it off because I was using bleach. He steps back and laughs and say I didn't even say nothing or was suggesting anything I was just offering a friend a late night snack. I agree reluctantly and say but only if kloe comes he laughs and says cool let me text her boyfriend and tell her to bring another friend so it's not weird like we're on a date. I say perfect. He says I'll walk you to your car and I say actually I moved into the dorms. He squints his eyes and says we'll I'll walk you back to the room gotta make sure you make it safe I'll tell them meet at your dorm I say coo we walk back to my dorm in silence. I get there and say I'll be back I run up the steps and put Roxie  in her cage and fix my hair grab my wallet I peek out the balcony door to see if anyone made it and they did and it's Kd Megan kloe her boyfriend and another girl I haven't met yet. I open my door and close it to lock it and as I'm headed down the steps I hear them talking Kd says we'll she seems down and she's not wearing her ring I feel like something is up and kloe says you just think something is up because you're tryna make a move leave her alone or else. Kd goes to say something else but kloe boyfriend speaks up and tells him to drop it I make it down the rest of the steps and say hey guys. Thanks for meeting on such short notice y'all are making me feel very welcome. We all pile into a truck and ride about fifteen minutes out and pull up to a place called burger shack it looks a little packed but not too packed it's just other college students we walk in and pick an empty table everyone saying hey to the boys as we walk past giving me and the other girl weird looks we get to the booth and it's a round one soo I just sit in the middle Kd sits on one said and the random girl sits on the other we're looking at the menu and I know exactly what I have a taste for. I ordered a double bacon cheeseburger with fries a sweet tea and a strawberry milkshake. I've never eaten that much before but I finished it all and was completely full. We all sit and talk for a while before I know it it's midnight and I start yawning. Kloe looks at me and goes oh no are you an old lady at secret that goes to bed at midnight I laugh and say it's actually been a really long day. She laughs and says we'll we can head back and I say no I'm enjoying myself I'm just full is all. They all look at me and say we'll yea you are like a football player tryna get his weight up I laugh and say hold up y'all calling me fat now we all bust into laughter and they say no we all end up staying out till two am just running our mouths about nothing and what we're gonna do once we graduate. We all scoot out of the booth and head back to the car Kd opens the door and I slide in and my phone starts ringing and it's a FaceTime from Sasha I answer the phone as everyone else is getting in the car and she says bitch I'm surprised you're up I laugh and say we'll why you call then and she says wait where y'all going at two in the morning y'all should be home in the bed like old people I laugh and say I met with people from my school and she goes oh so you got new friends I say nah and KD laughs and I give him a glare and she goes well where's Adrian then I say we'll he's at the hospital with his grandma she's been sick so he's with her. She goes ah okay well I've got some news but I want to tell y'all together you go hang with your new friends but let them know I can fight so they can't replace me byeee love you and she just hangs up. We drive in a peaceful silence the all the way back to my dorm. We pull up and they let me and the other girl out and I say thanks guys I actually had a good time I'm gonna like my time here. I wave bye and walk away from the car the other girl walks the same direction as me and I turn and say I never got your name she smiles and says Angie and I say you were very quiet tonight and she smiles and says between me and you I have a crush on Kd and I've had it for awhile now and I laugh and say that's why you put me between y'all and she says yes I'm too nervous so I just don't say much cause I feel like I'll mess up while trying to talk to him. I smile and say he's really nice you should try and talk to him and see how it goes she sighs and says maybe one day I laugh and say if you don't I will and she goes wide eyed and says don't put me on the spot I smile and say I won't. But if he talks to you just talk back. She smiles and says see you around Jazz.