TW: Intrusive thoughts
Song I wrote this on: Pluto Project by Rex Orange County
This series is about songs I like and I write them with Ian and Mickey.
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"Where the hell is he?" Mickey asked as he got up from the hotel bed. "I told him to come up, he was still at the bar." Ian responded and kicked his shoes off. "Is he coming?" Mickey asked inpatient. Ian groaned and sat on the bed. "Yes Mickey, why would he ask for the room number." He said and Mickey nodded. Ian got up and began taking his pants off. He pulled his shirt over his head and looked at Mickey. Mickey looked at him and Ian stared at him. "He won't do anything alright." Mickey said to him and Ian nodded and looked at himself in the mirror. He rubbed his head and sat down. Mickey slide across the bed and sat by Ian. "Hey you alright?" He asked and Ian didn't respond. "Ian." Mickey asked but there was a knock from the door. "Shit." Mickey said and Ian stood up. "He ain't gonna do anything to you, I promise." Mickey reassured Ian. He opened the closet door and walked in.
Ian grabbed his shirt again and put it on just in case it was a maid or something. He took a deep breathe and walked to the front door. He opened it and stared at the man in front of him. "Curtis wasn't it?" The man asked and Ian nodded. "Make this quick, I have meetings tomorrow." He said and began taking off his shirt and pants. Ian looked at the closet then sat on the bed. Mickey from the closet got his phone ready and watched them, keeping a close eye on Ian. "You like it rough?" The man asked and Ian rolled his eyes. "Whatever you're into." He responded and with that Mickeys blood began to boil. He hated how good Ian was at this stuff. He hated he was using Ian's body for money. Why couldn't he man up and tell everyone he was gay. Why wasn't he brave? He heard the other man grunt and he opened the door. The sight of Ian underneath the man only in his boxers made Mickeys knuckles white. "Say cheese motherfucker." He said and the man looked in his direction. He took the picture and punched him. The man groaned and fell on the bed. Ian slipped under the man and got up. He pulled his boxers up more and leaned against on the table.
Mickey taunted the older man and Ian stood there. Ian was not feeling well. He wondered how much money the man would give Mickey. They needed that money. Was he flirting enough? Should he suck the guy off for more? Maybe he should just sleep with him? He wasn't trying hard enough. That old man didn't want Ian. Nobody wanted him. Mickey stared at Ian who was just looking at the floor. The old fuck was putting his pants back on and Ian was frozen. "Ian." Mickey called but nothing. Ian kept thinking those horrible thoughts. "Ian." Mickey said louder and Ian finally snapped. He stared at Mickey and the old man looked at the both of them. "We are gonna head downstairs now, I'll be back." Mickey said and Ian nodded. "Okay." He said and Mickey stared at him then nodded.
Ian watched as the two men left. Once that door closed he started pacing the room. His mind was going 100 miles. He couldn't stop thinking about the man or if they would get caught, and what Mickey was going to do with the man. He went to the bathroom and quickly opened the toilet seat. He had nothing in his stomach so hardly anything came up. He began scratching his arms and rubbing his head. He flushed the toilet and looked into the mirror. His eyes were dark and his eyeliner was fading. He turned the sink on and scrubbed his face. His face was dripping wet when he looked back into the mirror. He stood taller and looked at his body. He was no longer built like he used to be, his ribs poked out of him, he ran his fingers across his tattoo. Mickey hasn't seen him like this since forever. Last time they had sex was long ago. Ian was built before and now he looked half dead. He rubbed his head and combed his hair with his fingers. His boxers barley held onto him, he looked into the mirror again and shook his head. "How did I get like this." He whispered. Tears fell down his face and he moved back to sit on the bathtub. He firmly grabbed the shower handle and turned it on. He stepped in only wearing his boxers. He moved the curtain back and stood there. The heat making his skin have goosebumps. He held the shower head for a while, then his knees felt like jello.
