Love adventure

No rush.

How was I like the rest? Did Jack kiss other girls while in a relationship? Did they also overreact? Who wouldn't honestly. I know I have my fault in what happened but I didn't expect to be thrown out so quickly.

I knew if I waited, he would talk to me soon and that's what I was waiting for.

I didn't have time to beg. I was just bored with life with the same routine everyday during break. I started hating my life even more. When I moved here I was expecting a bad time like I always do when I move but falling for Jack made it the worst possible. I was never use to liking jerks, let alone popular guys. I had a boyfriend for two years and I was use to him until he moved and well, then I moved. Its different with Jack though. It was unexpected and I still don't know how it happened, but it did. I always thought of me and Jacks kiss. Wondering if it meant anything to him.

I was laying in bed when I hear my call my name.
"Rox, there's someone here for you" she yelled from the door. I was expecting it to be Sussy or Amy but instead I see Jack smiling from outside the door and I froze.

I had no makeup on and in the same PJs.

I hadn't gone out and I felt embarrassed.
"I'll let you two talk. Just be home by 9" my mom told the both of us. It was 1pm. It shocked me how my mom was letting me out that late for so long.

I followed Jack until I said,
"Is this going to be quick or should I change because I'm a mess?"

He didn't seem very happy and just whispered,
"Yeah just go change. I'll wait in my car"

Of course I was nervous. I didn't know what to think. Every time we talk its always on bad terms and I was over it. We are always arguing but that's just because games are being played. He says he likes me but can't be with me. He can't be playing with my feelings like that.

After I changed, I got in his car and waited for him to drive.

He turned on the car and headed to his house.
"I broke up with Alisa" he said blankly just looking at the road. He said it like it hurt him. Like he was in emotional pain.
"I'm sorry Jack. If its because of me I just wanna say I'm not worth it and you should be with her if you love her".

By then we got to his house and he didn't say anything. Just led me into his house. I headed for the living room because thats where I usually went but he headed to his room so I followed. He still seemed so serious as he sat on his bed.

He padded next to him as in telling me to sit down so I did.
"How could you say you're not worth it? I kept thinking about you for the past four months that I've noticed you. You don't understand Roxanne. I don't love Alisa. I don't even know what love is. The strongest feelings I've had for someone is how I feel towards you and I don't know what to call those feelings. Is it love Roxanne? I've been going crazy just thinking and thinking about you and I don't know why. Its like we barley know each other but there's a connection. I know I sound stupid but hear me out." As those words came out of Jack, I could see his face fill with sadness.

I thought love was suppose to be a happy thing. If this is even love. He was right, I didn't even know what these feelings were. They were just there and they were strong.

I got upset looking at him look so sad.
"Why are you so sad?" Was all I could manage to say at this point. His sadness made me loath myself. I didn't want it to be my fault for the way he was feeling.
"I'm fucking upset because I can't figure out how I feel. I can't. I've been over thinking it and its not right. Its taking over my thoughts. All I know is that I wouldn't mind waking up to your face everyday. I wouldn't mind walking to school and letting everyone stare because they'll know you'll be the first girl I seem truly happy with. I want all this but it doesn't seem right. How could I feel this towards someone so quick? That's what scares me" Jack looked down and I teared up.

This wasn't about me anymore nor how I felt.

Jack felt trapped and it was my fault. All I wanted was for him to be okay. I wrapped my arms around him and he let his head rest on my chest.
"Its okay Jack. Its going to be okay, I promise. All I know is that all things happen for a reason. We can't help what we feel towards each other. I don't know if its love but they're strong feelings." I tried answering his questions. I massaged his hair trying to make him feel better. I hated seeing him sad.
"We? So you feel the same way?" He looks up and smiles. I lit up because I loved that smile of Jacks.
"Yeah I wasn't lying when I said I liked you. You make me nervous but in a good way. I love the little things about you. People have you so misunderstood when you are an amazing person." I said in comfort.
"The little things? Exactly what little things?" He laughed as he sat back up.
"The way you lick your lips after every time you say something. That's my favorite thing" .

He got closer and I swore we were going to kiss but instead he gave me a big hug. He was so warm and loving. We weren't sure what we felt but we knew we felt something and that's all that mattered.

I wasnt looking for answers anymore. I knew how he felt and it was okay if we didn't rush to things. I was fine where I was at the moment.