5 Seconds of Summer Imagines

let me save you // a.i

I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Makeup running down my face from all the crying. My whole body was shaking while I was holding the blade in my hand. 'What am I even doing here?' I thought to myself as I moved the blade closer to my wrist. I was breathing heavily as I made the first cut. I didn't even scream anymore. I was used to the pain. I started cutting two years ago, not only my wrists but my thighs as well so nobody would see. I always covered up the cuts on my wrists with Makeup and bracelets. No one noticed, and if they noticed, they didn't care.

Another cut, another, new scar marking my body. I was thinking about all the bad things, all the people who I thought cared about me. Everyone who let me down, everyone who broke my trust. Everyone who broke me.

Relief is leaving my body with every cut. 'No one cares anyway' I thought as I did another and another. With shaking hands I let the blade fall down on the floor. I slowly stood up and walked to the mirror. I looked at myself and I saw nothing but a broken little girl.

I washed away all the blood on the floor and my wrist, before I walked back to my room, pretending nothing ever happend. Faking my smile, like usual.
A few hour passed when someone rang the doorbell. I didn't feel like having company so I just ignored the disturber. The ringing didn't stop, even after 5 minutes. I groaned and walked to the front door, opening it.

"Where have you been today? You were supposed to meet me and Calum at the mall, remember?" Ashton said and walked in the house. "Sorry, I forgot." I mumbled noticing I haven't put my brackets back on yet. "Anyway, can you go? I'm kinda busy." I said and tried to push him out of the house.

"Uhm oka-" Ashton stopped himself from talking, his eyes scanning my, bruised wrists. "W-what is that?" He stuttered, suddenly looking incredibly sad. "I- Ashton please just leave." I shook my head and looked down to my feet. "No, I'm not gonna leave until you tell me why you're doing this an why the fuck you didn't tell me about this!"

I crossed my arms in front of my stomach, tears welling up in my eyes again. "I just...I- I can't talk about it." I whispered. "Hey," he said cupping my face, making me look at him. "You can talk to me about everything! I thought you know that! Please let me...let me try and help you!" He argued, looking at me desperately. "You can't help me Ashton."

"But I can try. Please just talk to me. Please!" He begged. I bit my lip from keeping my chin from quivering too much. "I don't wanna be here anymore! I just wanna die Ash. No one gives damn about me! Everyone is brining me down! My parents don't give a fuck about me! Most of my friends turned away from me! I suck at school I don't have a future I'm a fucking mess and I'm worthless! No one would care if I'd be gone! Everyone would be better off without me!" I cried

For a moment Ashton just blankly looked at me with a shocked expression on his face. "I- I never knew you'd think something like that." He whispered. "Well I'm good at hiding." I sadly smiled.

"Do you actually think no one would care if you were gone? What about me? Huh? Have you ever thought of me? I would be fucking devastated! I couldn't be without you anymore (Y/N) You still have me and you will never lose me! Ever! And all the people who turned away from you don't even know what they are missing! You're an amazing person (Y/N) and the world would definitely not be better without you! It would be worse! You're everything but worthless, you worth so damn much and it makes me I incredibly sad that you can't see that!" Ashton's word hit me like a hard slap in the face. He was right, of course he was but I still feel like drowning myself. "Please (Y/N), please, don't hurt yourself! Be strong, for me. I need you! You're one of the most important people in my life and I can't loose you. If you ever feel the need to cut again, talk to me first! No matter what time it is, I will be there for you! Always!" He said, a tear rolling down his face.

"I know getting out if this is hard, but I will be there every step of the way. And please know you don't just hurt yourself but other people as well. You are wanted here, especially by me."

Tears were streaming down on both our faces. Ashton pulled me closer to him, embracing me. He was holding me so tight, I though he'd never wanted to let me go again. He buried his head in the crock of my neck and I felt his tears streaming down my neck.
I actually felt save and secure in his arms, I wanted to stop this moment and never let go again.