5 Seconds of Summer Imagines

help me // l.h.

Request: Hi! Could you please write me a one shot where Luke is boyfriend but all the boys are there when he finds out I cut and they all try to help with it? It would mean so much. Thanks!

A perfect family. A perfect friendship. A perfect life. No one has it. Everyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves. Everyone has problems. Some can handle it. Some cant't. Sadly I belong to those people who can't handle problems at all. I'm pushing my problems to the back of my mind. I don't talk about them. I know it's wrong but I can't do it.

You may think having loving best friends and a caring boyfriend helps you forget everything. But if you think that, you're dead wrong. Sure, on good days you think 'hey I have people who care about me. I could actually be happy.' But then there are the bad days where everything seems like nothing will ever be good again. Lately I keep drowning. Drowning in my fear, in my anxieties.

Since I was fourteen years old I'm cutting myself. But not on my wrist. I didn't want anyone to see. Not like anyone cared anyways but I was ashamed. I cut my legs, my waist, my belly. Everywhere no one would see. It was mostly because of my broken family. My father walked out on us when I was eleven and my mother didn't give two shits about me. In school I got bullied really bad. People were telling me I'm ugly and fat and worthless. Well not only in school, even my mother tells me almost daily that I'm the worst thing that ever happened to her. I believed them. I believed everything they told me. I never had anyone to talk to and I was already a broken mess when I met Luke Hemmings.

It took me ages to finally let him inside my head. Slowly he became my best friend and a few month ago he became my boyfriend. I still couldn't understand why he would want to be with me out of all people. I was broken and he knew that I'm not as happy as other girls, but he still wanted to be with me. His friends slowly became my friends as well. I thought I finally could have a happy and normal life but even with them around I felt lost. I love Luke, no doubt, but just because I had a boyfriend now didn't mean I could get out of my depressions that easily. Surely I was feeling better than a few years ago but I still wasn't healthy. Luke didn't know about my self harm. I was scared that if I told him, he wouldn't want to be with my anymore so I kept my mouth shut and I never showed myself naked in front of him. He didn't push me but I knew one day he wouldn't want to wait for me any longer.

**

Once again I was in my bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, a blade in my hand. Today was one of the worst days I've had in a long time. Silent tears running down my cheeks and blood running down my thigh. Another deep cut next to the many other ones. Emotionless I rose from the bed and walked to the big mirror across the bed. I ran my hand through my long hair and watched the tears streaming down my face. "I hate you." I whispered to myself. "Why are you even here? You should be dead. No one cares about you." I told myself and put the blade on my leg again but before I could make another cut the door flung open.

"Hey hone- oh my god." I quickly swirled around and saw Luke and one of my best friends Michael standing in my doorframe with their eyes wide open. I tried to cover myself but it was impossible since I was only wearing a short tee. "(Y/N) what...what are you doing? Why...?" Luke stuttered and I saw tears building up in his eyes. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing but a sob came out. Luke immediately ran towards me and embraced me in a tight hug.

"What's taking you so long?" A voice I recognized as my friends Ashton's let us broke the hug. "What's going on here?" Calum asked shocked as he saw my scars and open wounds. Ashamed of myself I looked down to my feet while tears were streaming down my face uncontrollably. Luke was still holding me in his arms when he said, "I'm going to get you something to wear alright?" I simply nodded and averted eye contact with all the boys in the room. Luke was handing me some sweat pants and a large hoodie. Quickly I stepped into the pants and put the hoodie on. "Why? (Y/N) why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you let me help you?" I bit my lip, "I was ashamed and I was afraid you might leave me."

"Leave you? Why in the world would I leave you?" he asked shocked. "Because I'm a mess Luke! Look at me! I'm worthless! No one would care if I was dead." I cried. "Don't say that! You're not worthless. And do you actually think no one would care? I would be devastated! I wouldn't want to be without you anymore. You worth so damn much and it makes me I so sad that you can't see that!" Luke's words hit me hard. Somehow he was right but I couldn't see it yet. "Have you even thought about me? You're not only hurting yourself but other people as well. I can't lose you."

"Luke is right (Y/N). You're worth so much more than that. Please don't hurt yourself anymore. We're always there for you." Michael said. "You can always talk to us. If you ever feel the need to cut again, talk to us first! No matter what time it is, we will be there for you! Always!" Calum assured me.

"I know getting out it will be hard but we'll be there every step of the way. We are not leaving you alone with this." Ashton said with tears in his eyes.

"You are wanted here, especially by me and all the people who turned away from you don't even know what they are missing. I wish you would have told me sooner." Luke sobbed and buried his head in the crock of my neck. "I love you so much." Tears were streaming down our faces while Luke and the other ones were holding me tight. In moments like this I felt good, I felt save. With my loved ones right were I needed them. It would take a long time until I finally would be healthy again but it was definitely a good start by talking about everything.