Azula's Recovery - Avatar: TLA

5.5 - Azula

"Azula." Ursa said, turning to face her daughter. Azula and Kaya turned from their screaming match to face Ursa.  Azula's face was damp with tears, and her lip trembled slightly.

Ursa looked at her with such a pained face, Azula knew that it had to be real. "I'm so sorry for everything...I –I didn't know...What leaving would do to you both, do to you...I just hope..." She smiled slightly at Azula, "I hope that one day, you will be able to forgive me, and that you will allow me to be your mother again. To let me love you...properly this time." She stretches out her arms slightly, and Azula felt a sob escape her, as she realised that her mother wanted to hug her. Azula wiped at her tears messily with the back of her hand.

"Here, I have a handkerchief," Ursa fished around in her dress finally offering one to Azula. Azula took it, and her fingers brushed against her mother's hand.

Real...she thinks, This is all real. She's here, she cares, she loves me...

Ursa stood only a metre away as Azula dabbed at her face. When she was done, she looked up at Ursa and noticed that she had grown slightly taller than her mother. Ursa continued to look at her with that sad expression, her hands clasped over her chest as if trying to stop herself from reaching out to Azula.

Azula's chest burned as she tried to sort through the emotions and thoughts whirring through her mind. Anger burned deep in her gut, though she couldn't tell who it was for. Insecurities and fears were racing through her thoughts as she wondered if any of what Ursa had said was true, and then she felt a desperate hope that it was. Azula felt the sting of truth in Kaya's words, how deep down she knew Kaya was right. In her final moments of clarity she had just wanted her mom. She felt tired and lost, and utterly desperate to close the gap between her and her mother and take up her offer for a hug. But she didn't know how and everything was going too fast and it was all too much.

Azula collapsed to her knees and buried her head in her hands as she tried to shove down all the racing thoughts and insecurities. Hot and frustrated tears welled again and she could have slapped herself for crying again.

But then she felt someone's arms close around her, and pull her close. Azula buried her head into their shoulder as the two sat knee to knee.

They began stroking her hair and rubbing a hand over her back, "It's all right, let it out..."

Ursa.

Azula tried and failed to stop crying and eventually gave in, sobbing until her head ached and she had no tears left. She didn't dare move though, and just sat there, her arms clutching at her mother's back as Ursa continued to rub soothing hands over her back, whispering small comforts like, "You're safe, it's okay, I'm so sorry, let it out..."

The two sat in peace for a moment before Azula slowly pulled away, looking up at her mother. Ursa smoothed down a stray piece of Azula's hair as Azula took a few deep breaths.

"Do you think I'm a monster?" The words were barely a whisper, and Azula braced herself for the answer.

Ursa looked stunned for a second before shaking her head forcefully, "No. No I don't. I never did, my dear. I loved you, and you were always my precious little daughter. I loved you as much as I loved Zuko. I suppose I didn't really know what to think of you as you got older. You became crueller and you acted more and more like Ozai, but I couldn't blame you for it."

Her mother hung her head, "I gave up on you and I didn't even realise it. I don't know if you'll ever be able to forgive me. You were just doing what you had to, to survive. I loved you so much though, I still do. I love you, even if...you may not feel the same right now. I'm so happy I got to see you again. And even though there's been many, many tears, this meeting has been such a blessing. I really hope that we can start over."

Azula managed to croak out a little, "Okay."

She sat there looking at her mother a little while longer, before Kaya told them that it's getting close to dinnertime. Before she could lose her nerve Azula said, "Well perhaps we could...I mean only if you wanted to...maybe we could eat...together?" She cursed herself for stumbling over the words and looked up at her mother for an answer.

Ursa grinned, "I would love that."

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