Drowning

Chapter 36:

I walked slowly up to my room and grabbed a bag from my closet. I opened up my drawers, pulling some clothes out, when I heard my door quietly close shut.

"Brynn, I told you I would be down in a minute." I called as I searched through my drawers, trying to find some pajamas.

I heard the lock on the door turn slowly.

Warm, callused fingertips dipped into the side of my coveralls and pulled me back towards my bed. I was pushed down on the bed and flipped onto my back in one motion. Ezra was standing over me. When I tried to sit back up, he pushed me back and climbed on top of me. He used one hand to pin me down and the other one covered my mouth.

"Don't scream." He leaned into my ear and whispered.

I nodded my head. He let go of my mouth and hands so I could move.

"Ezra, what are you doing up here?" I whispered loudly at him. "Someone will see you." My heart was pounding out of my chest.

"They think I'm in the bathroom. We don't have much time." He said.

"Time for what?" I asked breathlessly.

"You were such a bad girl tonight, beautiful." Ezra began moving against me. His mouth went to my neck and he began nipping and sucking at my skin. I let out a soft moan and felt the moisture building between my legs.

Ezra's aggression rolled off him in waves of heat. He pulled away from me and stood up. He used his finger to motion for me to come to him. I sat up in the bed and raised his shirt with my hand. I looked up at him while I pressed my mouth just above his waistband. My tongue and teeth grazed his skin and he grabbed the back of my head to push my mouth against him harder.

My hands moved to the button on his jeans and I began to try to unbutton them so I could see more of him. I wanted him to let me take him in my mouth right here and now so I could show him how much I still wanted him.

Ezra's body tensed and he pulled away from me. I felt the hurt spread over my face and my cheeks were turning red in embarrassment. I looked up at him in confusion. He was all over the place. Did he want this or not?

"Are you fucking Aiden? Don't lie to me." Ezra asked and warned at the same time.

Instead of the confident arrogance he normally carried, the dark-haired boy looked unsure and vulnerable.

Was Ezra jealous of Aiden?

Is that why he was treating me so badly before?

"We are not doing anything. I've told you before."

"You're not acting like it." He fired back at me.

"What about Brynn? She was sitting on your lap." He was being a hypocrite.

"I don't want her. I thought if you saw me with her tonight, you would get jealous and realize you aren't done with me yet." He admitted.

"What are we doing?" I asked him. I sat back, pulling my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms around them. 

"I don't know. All I know is I can't stop thinking about you. I'm not sure why I can't let you go."

"Ezra, you know what this is. You don't really want this. You are friends with my brother. We both know we can't let this go any further. We should have stopped it before we ever started." The rational side of my brain had finally started to emerge. Better late than never.

"I know what I want and you do too. Why are you so scared that JD will find out we messed around?" He asked softly as he sat down next to me.

"Ezra, I really don't like to talk about it." I shrunk down and buried my face between my knees. Ezra was digging at the memory I fought every day not to relive. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried, something or someone would always remind me. Being constantly reminded of it over again only made me feel stupid and naive.

"Tell me because I don't fucking understand why we can't do this." He pleaded.

I took a deep breath and turned my head to look at him. I shivered as the memories flashed through my mind.

"When I was fourteen, JD took me to a party. JD had a friend who was older, like 23 or something who started talking to me when I got there. The guy started handing me drinks the minute JD walked out of the room. I had never had alcohol before, so I didn't know what I was doing. He gave me a lot of attention, so I kept taking the drinks he was offering me. I started to feel sick after a while and wanted to go lay down. JD's friend told me he would take me upstairs to help me."

I paused and shuddered with fear, remembering the night. Ezra placed his hand on my back to comfort me. I looked over at him, trying to find the strength to finish the story.

"When we got into the room, his friend locked the door. He walked over and began kissing me. I told him I had never done anything like that before. I hadn't even had my first kiss until he forced his tongue in my mouth. He said not to worry that I hadn't done it before. He said it didn't matter to him. He pushed me back down on the bed and started to take my clothes off."

"Did he force you have sex with him?" Ezra asked with his body tensing next to me. The situation happened years ago and I could feel him puffing up, ready to go find the guy.

"No, he didn't get that far. He stuck his fingers in me and I started to cry. It hurt a lot and he was rough with me. Someone must have heard me because I heard banging on the door a few seconds later. JD was screaming on the other side and trying to get inside the room. He broke the door down and when he saw the guy still on top of me, he beat the shit out of him." My face was bright red with embarrassment.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself to finish my story.

"The cops were called and the guy pressed charges against JD. JD got in a lot of trouble and wouldn't tell anyone why he got into the fight with the guy in the first place. I finally told my parents what happened before JD went to court. My parents threatened to press charges against the guy since I was a minor and he dropped his case against JD. After that, JD started making Aiden and Mark help keep their eyes on me when he wasn't around. He must trust you too since he has already made you babysit me."

I sniffed, trying to hold back the floodgates. I let everyone down that night by going to the room with that guy.  My brother almost ruined his life because of my stupidity. 

"Riley, I had no idea. You were just a kid and that creep deserved to go to jail for what he did to you." Ezra placed his arm around me, trying to comfort me. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I kept drinking that night and I almost let it happen again the other night at the house. It is my fault. If you weren't there to stop it, I don't know how far that would have gone."

"But I was there, just like JD was there. I would never let anyone hurt you." Ezra kissed the top of my head and pulled me tight against him.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." I said, shaking. "I have a bad habit of finding trouble."

"Me included?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Especially you." I said, trying to smile.

"We will figure out how to deal with this later." He said, standing up and pulling me off the bed behind him. "Now pack your shit so I can take you home with me. I've got plans for you tonight."

He pulled me in and kissed my lips softly before turning to unlock the door.

My head was spinning, thinking about what he could mean by that.  What plans? Everybody would be there at the house, so it was not like we could sneak away. 

I swallowed suddenly, very nervous about what he expected from me.

How far would I let him go?