Barren | ✓

b e i g e

libraries are the gateway for my soul.

in the world that demands pace and practicality, a library is where i find myself going back to doing the exact opposite.

i go back to being myself.

as a child, i lived in an isolated environment. i was homeschooled, and like you can expect, i did not quite understand the concept of friends.

my parents seemed to fit the role just fine.

when i grew up, however, i would often see people of my age roam in blocks near my house. when i would ask my mother, she would tell me that they were friends.

i asked her whether i could make some too.

she pondered over it for a while and then nodded. i was ecstatic. three months later, i made my first friend. lucy. she was funny, sweet and very kind.

i liked her. she shared her playtime with me and we would often talk about subjects. she was surprised about the knowledge i had in spite of not attending school much.

she taught me how to play sports while i taught her how to do math. they were perhaps the best six months of my life that i had experienced then.

one day in the afternoon, she didn't come out to play. i grew worried and went over to her house. her parents told me that she was at the library.

i had often heard my parents talk about this place and they had promised to take me there for my eighth birthday.

i grew anxious and curious simultaneously. deciding that meeting lucy was more important than waiting for my birthday gift, i returned home and asked my mother to take me there.

she was astonished but didn't seem to mind it. she knew how close lucy and i were. she revved up the car and we were there in the next fifteen minutes.

when i stepped into the library for the first time, my heart skipped a beat. the place was nothing like i imagined it to be. what i thought would look like some sophisticated hotel ended up being nothing but a gigantic block of books.

endless books.

the librarian sat at the far end of the room and my mother walked over to her, asking her about lucy. i was too dumbstruck and for a minute had almost forgotten why i had come here.

i couldn't take my eyes away from the books, stacked up row after row, column after column, just so beautifully wrapped in the scent of what I would later call as the scent of binding.

lucy was at the other end of the room, tucked between two bookshelves. she was reading a worn copy of famous five, and just like that i slipped into the seat opposite her.

"maria, you scared me! how did you even know i was here?"

i replied and she looked at me with a fond smile.

"this place is magnificent, isn't it? you'll never find a place in your life that makes you feel this safe and at home."

"why? my home is good enough."

"your home is, maria. not everyone are as lucky as you. for me, this place is my happy place. i come here whenever i am happy, or sad, or upset, or excited."

"is the librarian your friend?"

"no, the books are. they're my best friends."

"i thought i was your best friend," left my lips even before i could consciously filter it.

i knew that over the months it was not only me who'd grown close to lucy but even she saw me as her best friend. the thought that i had a contender hadn't occured to me and it pricked.

"ofcourse you are, silly. but with books, it's different. each one is different but they take you into their world as though you're a welcome friend. they don't judge you for your successes or your looks, the experience is the same for everyone. there's no complaints, no demands. and the peace you feel at is just... i don't even know how to express it to you, maria."

i nodded my head, still not getting the point entirely. that night, i went to sleep with many thoughts floating in my mind. i wanted to return to the library.

the next day, i told lucy that i wanted to join her whenever she went to the library. she was a little hesitant but agreed nonetheless.

we ended up going to the library twice a week. each time, she would introduce me to books based on what genre i liked and we would spend hours reading in silence, neither of us trespassing on each other's peace.

after reading, we would discuss the books of the day and that would lead to a very illuminating discussion.

the more i read, the more i wanted to read. the more i read, the more it accelerated the pace of my learning. not just academics, but everything under the sun.

years passed by and lucy and i moved out to college, she in one town and i in another. we eventually lost touch, like happens with most friends. it was natural, and there are still days where the thought of the memories with her makes me nostalgic.

she was not the only friend i made along the way but she was definitely my first friend, marking her significance in my life with the best gift she could impart.

the gift of reading

even till date, i spend a day of my week at the library near my house. on that day, the world is insignificant to me. what matters is the peace i transcend into when i open a book, it's scent homely.

when i return back home, i find myself renewed with the energy to go through another week of life with strength and energy, the buzz in my head calm and my heart full of joy at yet another experience i was a part of.

another experience that was now a part of me.

🦙

- the safe haven of every book lover

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