Barren | ✓

c h o c o l a t e

dev paced around the room, worried.

he just couldn't understand his daughter anymore!

she was irritable, she was snappy, she was unwantedly emotional, she had no predictability in her moods anymore.

it had been eight years since her mother had passed away. he'd raised her as a single parent and had always been able to shoulder the responsibilities of not just a father but also a mother.

she was always a docile and well-mannered child, never throwing tantrums or demands. even when her mother passed away, she handled her death with a grace and maturity almost unbelievable of an eight-year old.

the two of them were best friends before parent and child. and they were the best team out there.

but things were beginning to change.

since she turned 15, her personality had started taking a turn. it seemed as though she had no control over herself anymore.

some days she was happy, some days she was sad, some days she was angry, some days she would be hankering for the most absurd cravings. some days she would lash out for no reason and then cry for hours on end on the silliest of things.

it was insane to keep up with her moods.

when she was 13, she got her first period. even then things were easier to handle and she didn't seem to have the same problems that most of the girls her age did. she was blessed that way.

but now...

dev knew he needed answers. he remembered initially how he'd asked her friends whether there was something at college bothering her or whether she was perhaps involved with a boy.

everything was a negative.

her friends found her her usual self while her teachers were more than happy with her academic performance.

he wondered whether his daughter was perhaps going through some form of depression. teenagers were often sensitive to hormone changes and perhaps the absence of her mother in these crucial years were beginning to show a strain.

after all, he couldn't make up for 100% of her loss.

but even after his research and silent observations for more than three months, he realized that she didn't exhibit any signs of having mental health issues.

her swings were as mysterious as always.

so he decided to do the only thing he found most logical in the situation.

stepping out of the room, he peeked around to see where his daughter was situated. she was on the swing outside on the porch, prawned up while reading a book.

making up his mind, he walked over to her and cleared his throat softly.

she was currently in a detached mood so if there were any a good time there was, it would be now.

dev sat by the bench next to the swing and cleared his throat. anayka looked up in a glance. nervously, he brought out his hand and offered her a piece of cadbury oreo.

she accepted it with a nod. after she'd had four pieces, he finally framed the way he wanted to start the conversation.

"anayka beta, can i ask you something?"

"hmmhmm."

"beta is something bothering you?"

anayka shut her book and looked up. perhaps there was something in his voice that caught her attention. worry? concern? love? affection? maybe a mix of all.

something flickered across anayka's face and out of nowhere, a tear dropped down her face. she pulled herself out of the swing and hugged her father, letting herself bathe in the depths of her own tears.

dev held on to her patiently, rubbing her back in circles as she cried her heart out. once they separated, he wiped the tears from her face.

"i'm terrified, papa. i don't know what's happening with me anymore. i ask the girls around me whether what i go through is normal but none of the girls struggle with their mood swings and emotions the way i do."

"have you tried talking to your teachers about it?"

"yes, they say that i must be going through a pms."

"what's a pms?"

anayka felt her cheeks go pink for a moment but it seemed that now that she'd started talking, she needed to empty her pent up anxieties.

"it's known as a pre-menstrual syndrome. all my symptoms align to it too. its usually when your body adjusts to fluctuating hormones in preparation of you getting your periods."

dev nodded his head slowly. this was all new for him. sure, he bought his daughter sanitary napkins every month but that was all he knew about the phenomenon.

he was an only child and his mother and wife had never spoken to him about any of these emotional side effects. as a matter of fact, he was never put across a situation of this kind in his life until his daughter had her first period.

thankfully he had been told by a colleague or two to start being prepared and his research had helped him handle the delicateness of the situation with grace.

he separated from the embrace at long last and kissed his daughter on her forehead.

"anayka, i may not be of much help to you right now, but i promise you that papa is going to figure this out and help you deal with this well."

the assurance worked. anayka smiled and kissed his cheek.

"i know, papa. and thank you for bearing with me so patiently so far."

that night, dev accessed every bit of data he could derive out of the internet. he spent the next few weeks talking to the wives of some of his close colleagues who were more than willing to help.

it was a struggle initially, trying to predict how to tackle what situation but after four months, he started getting a hang of it.

the trick was not to make her emotionally codependent on him to handle her mood swings but to be her pillar of strength to ensure she could handle them.

each month, he would track her cravings chart. it would go from something as simple as buying her cupcakes to cooking her maggi at midnight.

and when he knew she would slip into a mood swing, he would mentally prepare himself to play along. he was still her punching bag but he played the sport. she would realize her brashness a few days later and apologize.

but as each month progressed, he was not the only one learning. anayka seemed to finally formulate a pattern on the basis of her father's behaviour, which in turn helped her brave her own with more consciousness.

once she figured out the extremities of her swings, she could start controlling them. and that eventually led to the intensity of them reducing significantly.

there were still days were dev felt a little overwhelmed with the changes his daughter was going through and had to endure by herself.

but he was even more grateful that she'd let him be a part on it and he could help her out in the best way possible.

he may have not been a woman, but he was a father who loved his child dearly.

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- a father breaking the norms of social stigma

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