His reasons are always the same. One slap, because I was a mistake. Two kicks, because he's stuck with me. Three punches, because in his eyes I'm a disgrace, and lastly, the final knockout hit because I'm the reason why his life was destroyed.
• • •...
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" the saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies "
- Unknown
∞
The three fell silent, not one of them able to say a single word. Suddenly, as if he had been in a trance, Mason shook his head and focused back on me.
"You're not capable of killing someone in cold blood, Erin," Mason said "I need you to tell me exactly what happened."
I shook my head.
I don't want to remember.
Oh god, I just want things to go back to normal.
"Please, Erin," Gemma said, taking a tiny step forward, "you told me your mother died in a car accident? Why do you blame yourself?"
It was as if something snapped in my mind. Once I started spewing the truth, I couldn't stop. "She was in that car crash because of me!" I yelled as tears streamed down my face, "I was a stupid and selfish little six year old girl. My mom picked up the wrong type of ice cream by accident and I cried until my parents caved."
The volume in my voice slowly decreased from a hysterical scream to a weak whimper.
"She left to go pick up the flavour I wanted... she didn't even make it to the store when she was hit head-on by a drunk driver..." I paused, "the next time I saw her, she was in an open casket."
"So she got in a horrible accident, I'm sorry, Erin, I truly am. But that's not your fault," Gemma said, a few feet away from Mason, who was discretely trying to approach me.
"Yes it is!" I yelled, tugging at my hair frustratedly, "If it wasn't for me, she would have never gotten in that accident!"
I felt a ripping pain in my chest. Maybe it was caused by my erratic heartbeat or my sharp intakes of breath, but to me it felt like my heart was being torn in two.
"If it wasn't for that stupid drunk driver, she wouldn't have gotten in that accident either." Mason said sternly.
"If it wasn't for that drunk driver, your mother would have gone to the store and back without a problem," Jackson said softly, "it's not your fault Erin, not even close"
"Remember what you told me earlier, Erin? I blamed myself for what happened to you, I thought it was my fault that you were in the hospital. But you didn't blame me, you knew it was Robert who caused it," Mason began, taking another step forward, "I put you in that situation, but Robert was the reason you ended up in the hospital. The drunk driver is the reason why your mother died, not you."
