𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚋𝚒 𝙷𝚒𝚐𝚑 𝚂𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕

Flames of the Cherry Blossom

P.O.V. of Karin

"Baka, baka , baka!" bickered Sui from behind me....continuously, as we were walking to school. It was the second of school already.. SHIT! I gotta do the annoying and tiresome fangirling again!  It was indeed very irritating. "Hey Baka! You don't love Sasuke anymore do ya?" he asked in a singsong voice. I felt a cold wind blowing by my heart, freezing my nerves and running to the tip of my brain. A hot blush saved me from the iciness.

 "Baka! I still do!"  I yelled and lied....Yes, I lied. Sui was always right, he knew everything about me, he cares for me and is always with me. He supported me when I was pretending to love Sasuke, I still am pretending, very efficiently. The truth is, I am a hopeless coward... I have voluntarily made my life a big mess, been a pretender, and still lying to myself. Deep down, I know that I wasn't even in love with Sasuke. Sasuke was a great friend, actually the only one who was a good friend to me apart from Sui and Naruto...For you to understand who I really am, you should know what I went through in my life. My childhood wasn't the usual one, where I could skip and play along happily, without any worries. I wasn't normal. Partially because my mother was pregnant with me by accident. She then married the man who had ruined her life. The lazy drunkard that my father was, didn't have a job, was the cheapest man I have known all my life. All he knew was bringing numerous other women to his bed every night, being unvirtuous, and hitting my mother. My mother was a kind lady, who was a nurse. But having a husband like that could break any woman. She was forced to work for long hours, pay our rent, my school fees, and many other expenses. She worked two shifts and got only one proper hour of sleep. Within an year, she was bed-ridden, and her health declined. That was when I was five years old. All I was ever told by mother was to study well, and come up in life, and unleash the fiery passion within me.  "..Just like your red hair"...she would say. By the time I was six, we were monetarily insolvent. We were evicted out of our house, since we had no way to pay the rent. We couldn't afford medicines for my mother . All I can remember now , is that, I was holding the eviction notice in my tiny hands, me and mom were getting drenched in the rain, and mom was struggling to stand up, and I was too frail to support her. Mom died that very night, and she was not even given a proper burial. Her body was lifted up by my father, and thrown into a garbage dump. I was then rashly led by him to find a shelter.My father, took me to a place, that looked like an animal barn, the next day. A few days later, we managed to get shelter in another small cottage. I stopped going to school, obviously, because that man would rather spend his money on other women than on my education. I cried every day, and received a few slaps across my cheeks occasionally for whining.  I was starved for almost up to three days in a row, and sometimes, a stranger would come by to give me some bread. Till when I was seven, I was abused by my father, physically and sexually, thrown out of the house twice, and was even sold to a brothel, from where I was rescued by a brown haired policeman. He arrested my father on severe charges when he saw the blue and black bruises on my face, legs and neck. I was taken pity on, got refuge in a police station for two days, and then sent to an orphanage. I lived there until I was nine, and they took really good care of me. Then I was taken in by my new mom and dad, Fusou and Ise. I even have an older brother, his name is Nagato. It felt nice to have a family again, it felt warm, comfortable, and homely. My new family is an overwhelming personification of my mother's caring attitude. These seven years that I have been living with them, made my life wonderful. It was when I was ten that I first met Sui, and so was outgoing, talkative, and we became best friends almost immediately. We went to the same elementary and junior high, now we both are in the same high school. You see, coming to why I planned to like Sasuke? It was the most logical option. What did Sasuke have? Money, good looks, good character. What did I need? I wanted to become a well educated independent woman, with a good source of income. Sasuke had the potential to be a big shot in the soceity when I first met him. He was professional and tactful, he would become a good business man, and  a good partner. Well, what more do I need to have a stable life? Monetary security + Job security + Non-pushy partner. I know, it's not love. I had to make it seem like it. My calculations would have gone haphazard if I had literally told all my plans to Sasuke and asked him to marry me. He would have ridiculed me. I did not want that. For the sake of my future...."BAKA!"  For the first time in my life, what Sui said really made sense in my life..........Iaughed sadly to myself...what an empty shell I had become.. But ... It was already too late. I chose to pursue Sasuke, I have been working on it all these years, although it caused a repulsive effect. Yosh! I can do this. "Baka wait up! I can't walk so fast! For God's sake, we are walking to school Karin! Not running a marathon! You're so weird" called out Sui. I stopped in my tracks, without turning...Rigghhtt... I was weird... really weird. I know my feelings, but pretend not to. I know what my heart wants, but I follow my brain even if it burns a whole in my life. I'm like a moth that leaves its lush green home, and rushes towards fire, to burn its own wings... Oh Karin! what a mess you have become..... I looked up at the sky....Drip... drip...drip... pearls of tears rolled down my oily cheek, my vision blurred, and I felt my hot tears on my hand that rushed to wipe them away...