The Beginning After the End

Date Day pt 1 -Health is Mental and Physical

TW: there is nothing bloody or graphic but I do go into a little bit of detail art what happens when you have a panic attack

Tams POV:

I opened my eyes to see Irene's placid face still laying softly on my bare chest, I shuffled down in the bed to get more contact with her skin, hugged her tight, and gave her a sweet little forehead kiss. Her eyes didn't open but she almost instinctively wrapped her arms tighter around me, grasping on like she was a koala once more, I cuddled her for a few minutes more until I looked at the side table and saw the chocolates I had bought her yesterday afternoon. I stretched out (being sure not to make too much movement because Irene was still asleep) and grabbed the box, I opened it and to my surprise they weren't completly  melted. I grabbed the chocolate truffle in the corner of the box and set the rest aside, Irene face was turned to the side while still on me so I took a bite and set the rest next to her nose, for a moment it didn't seem to be doing anything, but then she sniffed with her nose and opened her mouth, I laughed at her baby like gesture and put the rest in her mouth, while chewing she slowly opened her eyes a bit, then she kissed my hand that was at the side of my torso after having just fed her the sweets. Then she kissed up the midline of my body until she finally looked at me with her sleepy but pure crystal blue eyes. She smiled and kissed me tiredly leaving some of the truffle remanence in my mouth. Then after fully swallowing her bite she said "good morning my love", "good morning angel" I replied "how was your sleep?", "Bien" she said "as always with you... but you know what was better?", "what" I said curiously, "how I woke up" she said as she grabbed another chocolate and popped it into my previously parted mouth, we both laughed, ate , and talked a bit more until the box was empty, and only a few spots of melted chocolate remained, "and here I thought they might have gone to waste" I said jokingly, "do you know me?" she said laughing, "yes I do..." I replied "my cute little chocolate fiend"...
I looked at her eyes gleaming with joy and love and couldn't help it, I ate her face with kisses leaving no spot un-kissed. She playfully batted me away with her hands.There was a moment of silence before we both relaxed on our sides doing nothing but laying there placidly, smiling, and staring at each other. I never understood this phrase but now I was living it, me and Irene were "drunk on love", and I never wanted to be sober again. As I was staring at her and cupping her face with one hand, while moving some of her golden hair strands away from her eyes, to further see her beautiful face she said "I'm really glad I'm engaged to you Tamara Luz Ronchese", " yo tambien mí amor" I responded, "you're my map, without you I wouldn't know how to get through this crazy world" , I kissed her on the head once more and she said "aweeee, my sentimental baby" she said blushing, then she gave me a bunch of face kisses and said "te amo", I said "te queiro sapito". She then sat up so her legs were straddling my body and her butt was on my legs, "babe..." I said, "ya" she replied, "you better go take a shower", "why?" she asked, "do I really smell that bad?", "no babe it's that...you are making me very warm, and it is not the appropriate time of day for the things going on inside my head right now" I confessed, "oh my horny baby" she laughed, then she said "fine but you owe me later 😉", "wouldn't miss it for the world sweetheart" I said as she completely removed her bare self from under the covers, then she walked to our shower. I couldn't help but gawk at her in awe, I had seen those curves and crevices a thousand times but seeing them all together in the daylight was another thing all together, it didn't take long for Irene to notice the completely blank look of stupidity I had on my face as I looked at her as if she was worth all the money in the world, because to me...she was. "Stop checking me out you creep" she said , I zoned back in and said "wha-wha-sorry. Sorry my love.", "no problem" she said "I kinda like knowing that you still check me out even though we have been together for years"... "how could I not?" I asked getting up from the bed, and approaching her, "when you look like this it's hard not to appreciate it" I whispered in her ear as I started to leave a trail of kisses along her neck, before I could even get past her collar bone she said "wait..." lifting my head up, "what" I exclaimed, "Tammy you know what" she said "you said you wanted to save it for later... and I promise if we do it will be extra special😉", "vale" I said starting to have a bit of regret about my earlier statement, "I'll go make us breakfast love" I said, "okay, and I'll get all nice and clean for today" she responded, " ya, and make sure to take a ling one , I love you" I said, we kissed she she said "I love you too, perfect", and with that I left our room to "make breakfast" which was really Tam code for "plan the best date day, in the history of date days" however, Irene didn't know that that's the real reason I needed her to take a shower, so that I could plan the date, but it was also a bonus if she was clean because of what activities I had in mind (and no I don't mean that 😒😂).

Irenes POV:
Tam was acting quite strange this morning, rushing me into the shower and all, but she was too cute to refuse, so I simply did what she suggested and hopped into the shower. The warm, high pressure water felt so good on my tight, cold back. these last few days I have been so stressed out with the signing, and the launch, and now suddenly I'm engaged, but Tam always made everything better, when I felt myself beginning to lose control Tam would always center me and lend some words of encouragement. I know i'm not the best at showing it sometimes but... GOD do I love that woman!!! She's smart, beautiful, talented, loyal as hell, m and above all MINE, forever and always. I felt my cheeks heat up and my mouth curb into an involuntary smile just thinking about her, thankfully she is my fiancé because I really don't know what I would do if we were to split again. Just the thought of it made me sick to my stomach, I felt nauseous and my heart began to race. Suddenly I couldn't control my breathing and my muscles tensed once more (I was having a panic attack). I felt like I was gonna die then I heard Tam in the other room say "Babe, what do you want on your eggs?", that was enough to snap me out of the attack so I said, "whatever you are having love" my voice still partly shaky from what had just happened, she sensed the uneasiness in my tone right away and said "are you okay love?", "ya, fine.." I said "just got worked up over nothing is all", "okay" she replied, "just let ,me know if there is anything I can do to help", "will do love" I replied. Then I heard her go back to cooking the eggs, and I slid down the shower wall and sat on the floor, I then put my hands on my head in frustration and said "I thought it was getting better and I was doing so good...... but for what?.... for it all to go to shit over nothing" (the water was still on and I was saying it more to myself than anyone so thankfully Tam didn't hear me) I scoffed annoyed at myself. I mean I have a woman that loves me, an adorable cat, a bestselling book, a great acting career, and supportive friends and family... all anyone could need in life... and yet, I still feel unworthy or like I could loose everything at any moment. I didn't like being like this but I couldn't help it... and worst of all I couldn't talk to Tam about it because up until now I had thought I could do it alone, yes she knew about the panic disorder, but it was getting worse and worse, I tell her because I thought I didn't need anyones help, and I didn't want her to worry about me (,but I knew that was impossible since she always worried about me anyway). Quite frankly I was nervous and embarrassed thinking about telling Tam all of this, I know I have no reason to be but... I don't like the feeling of needing help from other people for my own problems, it makes me feel like a burden to those people and useless to myself. Nevertheless I decided I would spill everything to her today, I didn't know how or when it would be brought up but I figured I would know when it was time. Until them Tams little acts of kindness and the ring on my left hand were enough to assure me that at least I wouldn't loose her, I loved her more than life its self and can only hope she will forgive me for keeping this all under wraps. I finished my shower, the water now running cold because I was in there so long all the hot water from the tank had been expended and used only by the drain at the bottom of the shower. The cold water did help me clear my mind though. In a few minutes I was out and drying off, I heard Tam call for me and say "breakfast is ready sweetie... I promise its not anything brown or in a mug" she laughed at her own comment and I giggled too, then I grabbed my robe and put it on, drawing a deep and heavy breath as I walked into our living room.

THATS THE END OF THIS CHAPTER

PT 2 WILL BE OUT PRONTO I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE YALL WAIT ANYMORE

THIS WAS A BIT OF A HEAVIER CHAPTER FOR ME BUT I THINK ITS IMPORTANT TO BRING LIGHT TO THESE TOPICS, ESPECIALLY BC MANNY OF US GOING THROUGH THINGS LIKE THIS OFTEN FEEL ALONE

DROP A COMMENT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT U THINK

AS ALWAYS I AM SORRY IF I MADE ANY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS OR SPELLING MISTAKES

I LOVE YALL SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOYALTY AND PATIENCE

AND HAPPY READING :)))))