XX/XX/XX
Hey hurty thee hurt bookius
Sup. I've just been think a lot lately. I never really explained or talked about kitten. Kitten is my nickname for the pudding haired boy. My bestest friend ever. Yes it should a fucking word but apparently bestest isn't a word. I stay awake at night just thinking about him. It's a bit creepy not gonna lie.
Anyways love is not straight forward. It's not just a deep affection if more like string a ball weaving in and out of each other. It's like no matter what your heart will beat for the person. Even when the world is fucking dull it will. Love... what is it?
I know for a fact love isn't perfect. It can't be, it may be fated. I doubt that. Love is the opposite of protecting. It getting your heart out there. No matter the pain or hurt you indure. There was a story where a little rabbit was talking to a bigger rabbit they were measuring love and at the end they said I love you to the moon and back again. But love can't be measured or can you measure the infinite. I would do anything for him. Lose my own happiness for him. You can't throw away love it will cling to you. Cause I don't know how many times I've tried to throw it away, like yeeted it across the universe. But no it's tethered to me.
I just feel safe when I'm around him. He's not the strongest and definitely not the bravest but I do. It's unexplainable. I never want anything from you except a smile I will give you the whole world. That what the heart does says. Who knew a four letter word could have such a complex meaning?
I don't know why but I do.
I love you Kenma.
I've thought about those words and what they mean to me.
There is no other way to say it
I don't have a crush on you
I know I wouldn't be able to live without you.
I can't even begin to think about a world with no you is.
Does love even need an explanation?
I admire everything about you.
But every time I even think about confessing I think about Shoyo and how Ken-Ken looks at him. Once maybe actually twice times a month I type to him my feeling but just before I send it I delete it all. If you do the maths right twice a month twelve months times at least five year (when I bought a phone at fucking last) equals roughly hundred and twenty times I have typed to him in paragraphs to say I love him. I did this even before he met him. Yep I chickened put even back then... I mean I roostered out even back there. Get it cause I look like a rooster. Pffft! Haha.
You taught me how to love and not weaponise it like my blood parents. I'm on your debt.
~ K u r o
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