TW guys! 🥺 i was so scared to publish this chapter omg
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minho watched as the sun began to rise the following morning. though it wasn't a surprise; he hadn't slept that entire night.
ever since he got home from school, he tried every way of contacting jeongin. instagram, texting, calling...though the younger seemed pretty set on ignoring him.
and the guilt was eating him alive. though at this point, was it even guilt? minho didn't even know how to feel anymore. nothing, for that matter, feels right anymore.
minho stared aimlessly at his walls for what felt like hours, wondering when the next time he would contact jeongin was. the silence was beginning to get to him, the silent treatment driving him crazy.
jeongin 🥺
jeongin please answer me
read
i know you're mad, but i can't
take the silence! please say something!
read
i cant take it, i'm begging
you, please answer me!
read
getting frustrated, minho angrily shut off his phone, slamming it next to him on the nightstand. he flopped back onto his bed, tears slowly starting to roll down from his eyes. at this point, he didn't try to stop it. he knew it was pointless anyway.
why do you always fuck everything up?
minho began to sob harder, covering his ears to try and block out the screaming voices.
this is just proof nothing good was meant for you. you're meant to be ALONE!
"stop it!" minho shouted, sitting upright and pressing his hands over his ears even harder than before, "fuck off already! i cant take it!"
you don't deserve ANY HAPPINESS. you're USELESS.
minho got up from his bed, pacing around his room, desperately trying to stop the thoughts. but the more he tried, the more overwhelming and powerful they got.
it terrified minho. he's never felt so...hopeless before. in all his times of despair, now more than ever did he feel like any sort of light was miles away. all he could see was black, dark clouds that never seem to clear up.
"pointless, burden, hopeless," minho mumbled to himself, words easily flowing out of his mouth. like they were meant for him.
"pointless, burden, hopeless," he repeated louder, with more confidence.
"you're POINTLESS, BURDEN, HOPELESS!" he was now screaming the words over and over again, as if his brain somehow isn't understanding the information minho is aggressively forcing into his mind.
"you're friend hates you, you're own father hates you, nobody likes you enough to fucking care for you...and this is the proof."
minho held up his left hand, showcasing his once special ring. changbin's ring, the last gift the other had given him. the once cherished item of minho's, now a reminder of how much of a fuckup he is to his friends and himself.
"you piece of fucking crap!" he screamed, ripping the ring off his finger for the first time in years and throwing it across the room, not bothering to look where it bounced off to.
minho's mind was spinning, he couldn't get his thoughts in order. absolutely nothing seemed right, his whole existence felt wrong and out of place. it felt like all the people he knew were against him, all odds were against him, and like any sort of chance at happiness he had, was out of reach.
he was genuinely afraid.
minho has finally come to terms with the fact that if he's going to be here, he'll have to live through this dark tunnel alone.
and he would rather be dead than live another, long fucking day on this never ending dread of overwhelming aloneness. and he's ready to stop it.
without thinking twice, minho bolted as fast as he could to his drawer, pulling out his blade with shaky hand. he dropped to the floor, and rolled up his sleeves, revealing his formally healthy skin that was now pale and thin, as well as marked up from wrist to elbow.
his old self was completely gone. minho didn't know who he was anymore, he couldn't even recognize himself.
you can do it. end it once and for all.
minho sucked in a hitched breath, before quickly dragging the blade through his fragile skin, creating a new rough line. within seconds his arm started turning red and blood splattered from the cut.
his eyes widened in surprise of what he just did, but the sight made him want to keep going. the blazing pain he was feeling was satisfying, and it was the only thing that felt right to him at this point.
so, minho dug it back into his wrist, deeper than the first time. his breathing was anything but normal, and his sight was beginning to blur from a mix of hot tears and losing consciousness. but nether the less, he just kept on going.
"i don't need...anyone." he mumbled, unaware of the fact he had now dropped the blade, and his hands and the floor around him were covered in red.
it drenched his clothes and carpet, and it didn't seem to ever stop. and although minho knew what the outcome of his actions would be, he couldn't help but plaster a pitiful smile on his face.
"it's all over," he whispered, the uncountable sense of sleepiness taking over, "it's finally over."
taking one last hour-long-feeling glance around the memories of his room, minho finally let the darkness consume him.
~
well this was an experience to write, seeming i have never wrote anything remotely related to this ever... i hope i did well :,)
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Therapy // Minsung
Fanfiction[ minho x jisung ] "sometimes the worst place you can be is in your own head." when minho gets forced into therapy by his mother, he meets jisung, his therapist. minho has never been one to talk about his feelings, but as he becomes more comfortabl...
