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minho stared blankly at his dark ceiling, unable to fall asleep. all he heard were the noises going on outside, like wind blowing or animals rustling in the bushes.
he was tired, exhausted even. but he just couldn't get himself to fall asleep. it was like someone was taping his eyes open. he blinked, making the imagine he was hallucinating disappear.
minho's arms itched with desire to be cut. he traced over the old scars with his finger, missing how relieving it felt while making them.
minho looked at his drawer, where he kept his blade. he had to fight the urge to spring out of bed and grab it.
"no, don't do it. you're better than that," he mumbled, almost inaudibly. he took in breath, and slowly let it out to relax himself.
minho rolled over onto his other side, looking at some of his paintings he had hung up on his wall. they were all crooked and close to falling off, but honestly minho didn't bother to fix them.
he let out a long sigh, feeling unhappy. maybe it was just the late night emotions kicking in, or it's just another unpredictable wave of sadness he has to deal with.
just go to sleep.
"don't you think i would if i could," he spoke out loud, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. he decided to get up and turn his ceiling fan on, hopefully the cold hair making it easier for him to sleep.
when minho walked passed his dresser, he opened the drawer and saw two items he sees a lot; a blade on one side, and a bottle of pills next to it.
god, he doesn't even remember the last time he took his prescribed depression/anxiety pills. it had to have been months.
minho slowly grabbed the bottle, and carefully opening it. it was jammed, due to it not being open for so long. once he popped the lid open, he poured two in his hand.
he glanced around the room, realizing there's no water to wash them down. so, minho slowly opened his bedroom door, and very quietly walked down the stairs, desperately trying not to make it creek.
once he successfully reached the kitchen, he grabbed a class out of the cabinet and filled it up halfway with water. he quickly threw the pills in his mouth, and used the water to help him swallow.
minho nearly jumped out of his skin when the kitchen light turned on. he choked on the pills, and forced them down his throat before whoever entered the room could see them.
"minho? what are you doing?" his mother asked, obviously sleepy. minho didn't notice that it was already midnight.
"i was, um, just getting water," he answered, getting ready to dash back up the stairs.
minho's mother nodded, turning off the light. "alright. goodnight, minho."
the younger bolted back into his bedroom, and could already feel the pills kicking in. nothing's changed since the last time he took them; no matter what, they always knock the wind out of him.
minho fell asleep right as his body touched the bed.
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minho was shivering. the cold was unbearable, but he was too numb to care anyway. the cold was the least of his problems right now.
it was the 100 foot drop onto ice cold water right in front of him that he was worried about.
minho couldn't remove his eyes from it. it was as if his body was frozen in place, and moving forward was the only option. like a force field was blocking him from going anywhere else except into his own death.
YOU ARE READING
Therapy // Minsung
Fanfic[ minho x jisung ] "sometimes the worst place you can be is in your own head." when minho gets forced into therapy by his mother, he meets jisung, his therapist. minho has never been one to talk about his feelings, but as he becomes more comfortabl...
