Fade My Scars

CHAPTER 15

Summer's POV,...

Napahawak ako sa ulo kong sumasakit. Dumagdag pa ang nakasisilaw na liwanag na tumatama sa mata ko. Kinapa ko ang unan na nasa tabi ko at akmang kukunin ng biglang may humigit dito.

"Fvck! Give me that," inis na saad ko atsaka padabog na ibinagsak ang ulo sa kama. Hindi ko magawang magmulat ng mata. Pakiramdam ko ay umiikot ang paligid at sumasakit ang mata ko.

"What are you doing Mona?" natigilan ako ng marinig ang boses ni Aelus. Not that Aelus I used to know but a different Aelus right now.

Para bang kinukwestyon nya ako ng isang tanong na ano mang oras ay maaari nyang ikamatay. Malungkot at puno ng katanungan.

" What are you saying?" I hide my emotion. I always keep hiding it when I'm with him but I used to express when I'm with Gavrielle. Funny right?

Hindi ko sya tinitingnan at nanatiling nakapikit at nakahiga sa kama.

"You know what I mean Mona,"

"I don't know. Tell me--"

"You changed!" dalawang salita but that was enough to make me froze like an ice. Napalunok ako ng laway. Mga kalahating minuto kaming natahimik bago ako bumangon at umupo.

"I am not,.."

"Yes you are. You change. You really change,"

"I don't know what you're saying. I did stick with the plan. Hindi ako gagawa ng dahilan para masira ang pinaghirapan natin."

"But that's what exactly you're doing right now. You start to change yourself. You've getting soft. You start to forget all the hatred you kept since the day your mother died." mabilis kong pinunas ang luhang tumulo sa mata ko.

Hindi ko sya nasagot. I know parang may mali. I know parang may hindi na tama. Pero masakit pa rin palang malaman ang totoo mula sa isang taong malapit sayo.

Namalayan ko na lang ang sarili na umiiyak sa dibdib nya.

"I'm sorry Mona. I didn't mean to say that again.," he used to comfort me like he always did. This is the first time I cried in front of this man.

"A-Aelus, e'm I weaked? I don't know w-what's going on. D-did I changed?" humahagulhol ako sa damit nya.

Natatakot ako. Natatakot ako na baka isang araw magising na lang ako na wala na lahat ng mga ipinaglalaban ko. Hindi ako ganito.

Palagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na isa akong Venus. Na walang makakapagdown sakin kahit isa. But look at me right now, crying like a baby without mother to lean on. Without father to hold on.

"You are not weak. Showing your pain is not a weakness. Did Gavrielle Helton changed you?" natahimik ako sa sinabi nya. Lumayo ako at pekeng natawa.

"Seriously? Pfftt, you gotta be kidding me hahaha,"

"You can't deny to me Mona. I know you from the start. Don't waste all the efforts we started off. Isang linggo pa lang tayo dito but you changed a lot. What more kung isang buwan?" sarkastiko syang ngumiti at naglakad patungo sa bedside table. Takang tiningnan ko sya bago lumapit sakin.

" Stop being attach with Gavrielle Helton. He's not a good influence Mona. He might be nice but still he's our enemy. Baka isang araw magulat kana lang, nahulog kana pala.," inilapag nya sa kama ang isang food tray bago magalang na yumuko at nagpaalam umalis.

Wala akong nagawa kundi pagmasdan ang pagkain na nasa harap ko.

Gavrielle Helton is my enemy. I hate him from the start. He kissed me that night and let me pretend to be his fiancé. I let myself to go with him. I laughed because of him. I used to like some things that I hate.