A Court of Stars and Shadow

Chapter 31

I woke up the next morning from routine only. Getting dressed in my fighting leathers was an instinct my hands did by themselves. I felt empty. I didn't even bother to re do my hair from its messy bun.

I avoided everyone downstairs, not caring if they saw my red stained eyes from crying all night. They quieted from where they were talking at the table when I sauntered down the stairs, I just exited the house without saying anything. I wasn't mad at them. I just needed to be alone, to process things.

I expected the walk to the edge of the woods where Rhys picks me up for training to me soothing, calming but it wasn't.

"What the hell is wrong with you today" A voice drawled from behind me.

"I'm not in the mood Carnel" I replied without looking back. He caught up to me and I paused to look at him, letting him see my face and my puffy eyes. I could have sworn concern crossed his eyes before it vanished, the same bland bored look he always had settling on his face.

"I'm not in the mood" I grounded out.

"Where were you yesterday?" I didn't have the energy to come up with something sarcastic. He was playing with me and I could almost hear the begging in his voice for me to play as well, like we usually do.

"My patience is very, very thin today Carnel and you're getting on my nerves"

"well, if you want to burn some of whatever is bothering you my bed is always open" he said with a smug grin.

"Fuck off Carnel" I said rolling my eyes and walking away. Rhys appeared at the approaching tree line and I didn't look back as I grabbed his hand where he winnowed us to the field.

"What are we doing today" I asked flatly.

"You look like hell" was his only answer.

"hasn't Feyre told you to never question or criticize a woman's appearance" I shot back.

He snorted. "indeed. but when it comes to the wellbeing of someone in my court, forgive me for worrying"

I didn't say anything back and instead rolled up the sleeves of my shirt around my wrists underneath my leathers. My feet were covered in at least three feet of fresh snow and I lifted them up and down just so my toes wouldn't go numb.

"Let's start simple today then, make that tree at the far end of the clearing grow"

I didn't know whether to be insulted or to thank him for the easy practice.

With a crack of my neck I speared my power towards the tree and wrapped around it. it began to grow higher into the sky, almost as large as the great Pines and oaks around it.

Something began to gurgle inside my chest, and I paused the growing. The tingling began to spread all over my body until my hands were shaking. Emotion, that's what this was.

Rage, pain, hurt, sadness, loneliness all overcame me at once and I converted it into power, desperate to get rid of it. I casted it out away from me and the trees all around me on the field began to creak. I began crying at some point, I only knew because the tears were forming into little ice drops on my face before they could even fall.

The ice around me melted and the brown muddy grass was uncovered.

"Luna" a voice called far away. I had to get rid of this emotion, I didn't want it. Trees began to twist and twist and twist until they snapped completely and fell to the forest floor. I crouched down, my sobs over coming my body and the grass around me began to turn black and wither.

"Luna" Rhys voice said closer. His face formed Infront of mine and he shook my shoulders so I would meet his eyes.

"Breathe Luna." His voice was muffled, like he was underwater. Is this what is was like to be lost in your power? It didn't feel too bad, I felt like I had more power than ever. It was too much, my power connected with my emotions. Gone, gone, gone; I just wanted it gone. I yelled and mentally lifted a tree and threw it across the clearing, slamming into another large tree and breaking into smaller pieces.