A Court of Stars and Shadow

Chapter 12

 I spent days waiting for information. Each day I woke up, trained with Cassian, who said I was getting stronger every day, then with Amren, who complimented me on my growing wall protecting my mind and then with Rhys who despite the day in the clearing days ago, haven't been able to lift even a pebble. I could see the way his mouth tightened when we would leave the clearing after hours of practice, after hours of me sitting there accomplishing nothing. He told me that I was blocking myself, blocking my magic because I'm scared of it and I tried, I really tried to do something but... nothing.

By the end of the day I would leave dinner early and tumble into bed, so exhausted I was asleep by the time my head hit the pillow and I tumbled into a deep dreamless sleep until the early morning light shined through my curtains, waking me up to another long day. There was still no improvement with Amren in terms of finding a way to get me home and Az has been gone since that dinner days ago, away in Montesere and returning and day now. So I did the only thing I could and just keep working on my skills: physically, mentally, and magically.

I walked up to the roof, to find it empty. Cassian was nowhere to be found so I walked over the edge of the roof and leaned against the thin iron railing, looking at the city, which was beginning to wake up; the smell of pastries and bread from bakeries reaching my nose even from up here. I could feel the sun hitting my skin as if pressing a golden kiss and I sighed as a cool breeze hit my neck.

A pointed cough from behind me drew me out of my thoughts and I turned to see Cassian leaning against the doorframe, wings tucked in tight behind him. "You're late for once"

"Az is back L"

My brows rose and I pushed off the railing, heading for him.

"And?"

He motioned with his head to the hallway and strode into the darkness, face stripped of emotion. If he wasn't playing with me as he always did, things had to be bad. I tried to put on that mask, tried to play my face like nothing was wrong but I couldn't stop my beating heart.

I followed Cassian until we entered a part of the house I hadn't been yet.

"I haven't been here yet"

"That's because this is Feyre and Rhys's wing of the house, the door at the end of the hallway are their private quarters."

I strained my neck to peer over his large wings and indeed, at the end of the hallway stood two large frosted glass doors.

"Why are we here"

"so many questions today" Cassian said but he didn't look back at me, he kept moving, one foot in front of the other. It only took a few large steps before I stepped in front of him and held out a hand to his chest, he stopped before me and peered down at me.

"What's wrong?"

His lips pursed. "We should wait until we get into Rhys's office Luna"

Luna. Not L, not the nickname he has been calling me for almost my entire time here.

I crossed my arms and held my ground, making sure he knew I wasn't budging.

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. I had never seen him like this.

"It's just, it's all starting again. We've barely had time to heal from the Hybern war and now this shit is starting again." I didn't let the words affect me, no, this couldn't be happening again, not to them, not when they lost so much just years ago. I reached out with my hand and squeezed his arm, the message in the gesture in itself.

I'm here Cassian I tried to tell him, and he nodded as if he could see the message in my eyes.

Thank you he seemed to say.