"well, what do you want to know?" i turn to look at him.
"what's your story, you told me you were caught with drugs the very first day i saw you, why were you doing them, tell me what got you there" he asks.
i should tell him what happened, maybe opening up about my past will help me more.
"i was stressed, mad, angry, my background story isn't the best, there were so many reasons and i just wanted to leave" i say something but it doesn't make sense.
"leave where? if you don't want to explain you don't have to" he tells me.
i want to explain to him though, i want to tell him, it's just a little hard opening up about this.
"i want to explain, i need to explain to someone i can't keep it in so long" i tell him. "ok then explain" he says.
i think of where to start and decide i'll start from the beginning.
"i never lived the best life, home life was toxic, all i wanted to do was move out since i was 5 years old, i counted down the years, the months, the days until i turned 18 and graduate, i wanted to go to college and move out so bad but i couldn't be homeless, i try to find excuses to not be home, a hobby of mine is going to the skate park and watching others, i never got to try it because i couldn't afford one, watching them helped me relieve my stress and calmed me, around when i was 10 it started to get abusive, bruises on my arms, legs, i had to wear baggy clothes hoodies everyday so no one will see and no one will question, and when i turned 18 i found out i had to stay here be stuck here, i needed those drugs, but of course the cops came and now im here" i end that with a fake smile.
he stares at me, i could tell he was trying to come up with something to say, he was shocked by all of it.
"wow, im so sorry you went through that, i wish i could've known you back then and helped you" he tells me. "if you only could have, but it's over now im here and in one year, even if i don't have the money im leaving that toxic home" i tell him.
thinking about it, where am i actually supposed to go, or what am i supposed to do once i leave, i'll probably never see vinnie again, i'm sure i'll see elizabeth again, but what vinnie, does he really have to stay here his whole life? i want to know what actually happened the full story but i think it's too much to ask him.
"im glad you have that goal, how did you get through that, i wouldn't have" he asks.
"well, i went to the skate park, and chocolate donuts" i laugh a bit looking down.
now that i said that, i'm kind of craving them, sucks the last ones i ate i threw away in the trash, and the courthouse.
"chocolate donuts?" he looks at me confused.
"my go to snack, every time i would feel sad i would go to the gas station and buy some it made me feel happier" i smile at how stupid I sound.
"you know they aren't that bad, my go to thing would be chips, or gum, or alcohol, but chocolate donuts could work too" he laughs.
"you can say it sounds dumb i know it does but it makes me feel happy like i said" he staring at me with a blank expression.
i laugh, my laugh fades as i remembered the night the cop came to me, and did that, i decide i should tell vinnie, "can i tell you something else?" i ask.
i'm still not sure if i can even tell him, or if i'm able to tell him.
"of course anything" he says, "its hard for me to say it but i can't stop thinking about it" i look down at my fingers fidgeting with them, "it was the night i got caught everthing was normal, but he had to take my drug test," i look up at vinnie not ready to say the next part, he doesnt say anything he lets me speak even if it takes me a while.
"he took my drug test he touched me, and i guess got turned on by me" i tear slips down my cheek, i feel embarrassed i cant say anything, "he moaned, and it could've got worse, but my attorney walked in and he stopped, knowing she could've saw, but she didnt" i stop remembering the moment.
"who did it?" it vinnie asks. "it was the officer who found me" i tell him, tears are now going down my face as i think of that very uncomfortable moment. "vinnie she didn't see anything and i didn't to anything i let it happened and didn't tell anyone, now all i can do is remember it, i keep remembering it everyday" i cry, "kyra we'll do something about this, he deserves to be in prison right now, what he did was wrong, do you remember his name?" he asks.
i think about it, i try so hard to remember but i never even looked, "i-i dont know" i stop crying.
i stare blankly. i didn't even get his name, he can't be stopped what if he does it to others, there's no proof either way.
"something will happen to him in the future i promise" vinnie looks at me, "kyra i care about you, you didn't deserve that, it was without your consent for him to touch you, and don't blame yourself for not stopping him you were in shock and couldn't do anything, i understand" vinnie tells me.
he cares for me? "thank you vinnie" i respond with a smile, my trauma won't go away but vinnie helped me a bit, i hope that officer gets the karma he deserves.
"goodnight vinnie i think i should get some sleep" i tell him.
"well goodnight pretty lady ill see you tomorrow" he replies with a smile,
"thank you" i whisper, and tell him once again.
i say thank you, because he helped me open up about my past, gave me advice about what happened, and said he cared for me.
i think he's the only person in this world that cares for me, he deserves a thank you.
i slowly fall to sleep.
