J9 One Shot

The Goodbye

Nine

The soft hair that swept my cheek smelt liked lavender; his favourite fragrant shampoo that he'd used since two years ago. We'd been friend for five years already, when he was 18 and I was 20. Now, he's already 23, and I was at the odd age of 25; not a young adult anymore, yet not really an adult that had experienced enough of life.

"What is this, hmm? You feel sleepy because we ate too much just now?", I asked to the tall person who leaned his head on my shoulder and holding my arm tight.

"The weather is nice; the lake in front of us looked so calm, and the wind blows enough air to cool us down. And, also, I have this tiny shoulder to lean on", he said without raising his head from the position.

"Oh, too poetic, aren't you? It's quite warm actually, but you're right, the wind does cool us down a bit". We both stayed quiet for a while, just looking at the scenery in front.

"Joong...", I finally called his name, in case he fell asleep. The evening sun was changing colour, more orangy than a bright yellow, and the sky had turned a bit pinkish.

"Can't you not say it, Nine? Can't we just watch the sunset without words that would only hurt us for a long time?", he raised his head, looked at me forlornly, and blinked his shiny eyes to stop them from becoming wet.

"So, you already could guess, the reason I wanted to see you today?", I said with a sorrowful smile.

"Why do you choose this, Nine? We are good, for five years we are the best of friends; who understood each other so well".

"Yes. It is what we started off with, and should have been still. But, Joong...I believed, you knew that's not how it is, looking from my side. You just didn't want to hurt me, and I chose not to put any bind on you; so, rather than adressing it directly, we both had chosen silence...".

"I couldn't give you any fake words, nor promise, Nine. It's not fair, for either of us. But, I sincerely feel you're a very precious part of my life".

I caressed his cheek and smiled. I understood his words and also where he stood too. He never lie nor being insincere, his openness and truthful personality was what pulled me in, in the first place.

"Definitely, Joong. You showed that to me too. Maybe, I liked it too much, so that's what made me feel, it could be more than what it supposed to be, until... that you're already with someone else...then, it should have been the sign for a definite closure, isn't it?".

"You're my bestfriend, Nine...would I be selfish, to want you to be here still, hmm?".

"No, because you never give me any mixed signal, I really do know; a friend; that is what I am to you, Joong. But, I know my heart too. It seemed, when you'd already liked someone; though they didn't like you back, or they had someone they like more; the heart couldn't easily forget, Joong. I still like you the same,yet, I also accepted that I am not the one...and also...couldn't stay to be your friend too. It would put both of us in an uncomfortable position, and...it would really...hurt me".

My eyes were damp. I had nothing more to lose. Because this was a goodbye, that I had delayed for almost two years, after he met someone else. I did try to erase, to be the friend that I supposed to be, yet, how I felt did not change, and to my heart, he was still what I want, and couldn't have. The only road was to let go, moved ahead, far away and not return.

"Could I still call you?", he asked with hopeful eyes. His hand holding a bit of my shirt when I stood up.

I shook my head in refusal. We really needed to cut it clean, an attachment would make things back to square one, where I would hope for a small chance once again, and might be left in vain still.

"Be well, take care of yourself, Joong. Don't be too emotional with your loved one, it might cause a small thing to explode into something bigger", I said and gently pushed his hold to let go.

"I'd still come and disturb you from time to time, please, don't deny me that too, Nine..." he said, already stood up too, to move closer, yet I stepped back.

"No. You can't".

"Why?"

"I would leave everything I have here too; and not just you". Joong mouth was hung open, but no words came out. "Goodbye, Joong", I said and walked away.

"P'Nine!", his voice was loud, but I chose to not turn back or answer, and just walked away, so that Joong couldn't see, the tears that had started to fall.

Joong

"P' Nine!", I called the person who had tears fell down from the corner of his eyes. "P'Nine! Wake up! Come on, open your eyes, please!", my heart was beating crazily; I tried to shake his shoulder a bit and tap his cheeks repeatedly. Finally, Nine opened his eyes.

"Thank God!", I released a heavy relief breath, and embraced him tight.

"Shall we call the emergency?", the player who accidently hit Nine's head asked in worry.

"It's alright, I'll take him to our room and if he showed any sign of pain or feel discomfort, I'll call the emergency, myself". I carried Nine to our room and dropped him carefully on the bed.

"What... ermm.. What happened?", Nine asked a little disoriented.

"Are you alright, P'? Did it hurt too much?",I asked while caressing his hair.

"Hurt?", he asked, confused.

"You're crying...".

"Oh...we broke up, Joong, our friendship, so I cried...", he said and sat up while rubbing the side of his head a bit.

"What?"

"I left you, since you had someone else already, and I couldn't...bear it", Nine said again.

"P'? Are you alright?" I asked, curious and also surprised. Nine looked at me, again with a confused face.

"We are in a sponsored vacation, right now. And just now, we were playing with the other groups. They spiked the valleyball too hard and it bumped your head; hard; then you fell immediately on the sand... I was scared out of my wit, P'... ", I tried to explain that as slowly as he could register.

"I am not 25?", he asked suddenly.

"No, P'... and... I never have been in any relationship, too", I said and smirked, teasing him. Nine's face suddenly turned pink, and he cleared his throat.

"It must be the concussion; just forget it, Joong...", he said and laid down on his side on the bed, covering himself roughly with a blanket.

I just laughed a little, pulled the blanket away a bit from his face and curved a smile.

"P', ermm, really? You couldn't bear it, if I'll be with someone else?", I asked to the person who refused to open his eyes.

"My head is throbbing; headache; I'll take a nap a bit. Go away, please, Joong...".

"Alright, P'. Please tell me immediately if you feel, err, "real" pain, okay...", I covered him up fully by arranging the twisted blanket properly, and continued,"25, you said? Well, let see what would be there for us when that time comes. You might not want to leave me... at all", I said, and smooched his cheek loudly and immediately went far away from the bed, laughing at the angry grunts from the embarassed person.

The End