J9 One Shot

Dancing Partner Pt 2

I received the confirmation a week ago, that I was accepted by the prestigious business school in UK. Now, looking at the same offer letter, and finding the courage to tell Joong that I couldn't attend his joyous day in advance, made me sighed in distress. To be honest, I applied after his engagement, partly because it was what I really wanted to do since a few years back, but delayed in doing so when Joong's father fell sick, but also the larger part was to go as far away from him, till I could face him again without having the same feeling that I had harboured for almost half of our friendship years.

I shook my head and continued to arrange the clothes in pile, easier to choose what to be packed, and what to be left behind. The sudden knocks on my door, and the sweet smile of my mom, made me stopped packing for a little bit.

"Nai, do you need help?", my mother asked as she sat on my bed, the floor was full with all the clothes that I piled up just now. I shook my head and sat besides her on the bed.

"I am just choosing the suitable one, Mae, the bag capacity is not much, and for the rest, if needed, I'll buy them later, there". My mom nodded, and then took my hand to hold them gently.

"You still don't talk to Joong on this? Mae happened to meet his mother yesterday on our monthly club meeting. She said Joong kept checking with her on the seat arrangement for the ceremony and dinner, to make sure that you're seated close...".

"Oh, my bad, Mae. Too busy preparing the documentation needed, and he is also busy preparing too, Mae, it's his big day! Don't worry, I'll find the time...", I said with a sheepish smile to not worry my mother.

"Hmm, Nai...could Mae say something?". I could somehow guess, but nodded still. My mother caressed my hair with love and looked kindly into my eyes, "Mae know how you feel, you're my son. But, a relationship, regardless of what kind, is not liked these clothes that you could simply leave behind and forget about; nor could you find a brand new one exactly as what you had. And, both of you had grown off from being the impatient youths who bickered too much", I chuckled unexpectedly at my mom's quip, "so, talk about it openly. It may not give you your desired end, but at least you won't burn that beautiful bridge to ashes too...".

"I lost the chance to say anything now, Mae. He would be better off not knowing anything. He is sensitive, so even if I say it to just unburden myself, without any expectation, he will start to feel guilty and overthink; not a good thing when he must already feel overwhelmed with everything in his hands right now".

"Yet, is it alright to just leave him without reason? If you really wanted to go there solely for your education, you would have done so years ago, Nai, when there's already a scholarship offer, waiting for you, but you chose him, not because he needed you, but because you placed him as the priority. Though he'll become someone else's after this, it's not wrong to still put him as your priority, Nai, but of course, it'll come with a certain boundary too. But, Mae won't push you to any direction, what was said just now, is for you to see options. Your choice and decision, Mae won't question them after", Mae kissed the top of my head and smiled, "Alright, since you don't need help to pack, then Mae will go to sleep first". With that, she left the room.

I looked at all the pile of clothes in my room. Though Mae was right, that it was not as easy as discarding a piece of clothe, yet I also couldn't keep holding on to past memories. Just liked the pile, some still needed to be let go.

****

5 years later

"Mae....", I ran and hugged my mother as soon as I dropped the bag in front of the door.

"Oh my God! Luk! What is this? How come you didn't call for me to fetch you at the airport? Wait, this is not even a holiday season there...what happened?".