J9 One Shot

First Taste

Nine

I looked at the water dripping from his hair, flowing to his back and down, lost in the towel that he wrapped around his waist. The tan skin, sinewed muscles, and height looked domineering, yet also made one felt secured.

I looked away when he started to dress up, somewhat not wanting to invade too much of his privacy, yet what I was doing was not right either.

"I'll be coming back late, alright. You don't have to wait for me", he suddenly said that made me looked up again from looking at nothing in particular on my phone.

"A date?", I asked. He smiled and nodded. I swallowed the bitterness inside my mouth.

"Yeah, in the club you guys usually went to. Today is my birthday, P', I'm officially an adult and now and could go in. We've been in touch for more than a year now, so I guess it's time to see each other for real", he said while styling his hair to perfection.

"You've never known how that person look, Joong. Then how would you know, even if you go there, which person is the one. You...might offend someone that would be wondering whether you are a pervert or what...", I said trying to reason Joong out of the date.

"Let me just try my luck, even if no one wait for me in the club, I could just enjoy the night", he said and his eyes shining with delight.

"Don't drink too much, alright? Take a sip and a taste first, don't overindulged, you're too new to this and don't drink up anything from stranger. Make sure your phone is with you all the time, call if you need help", I said almost liked a mother that worried about her son.

"You're really worried about me. Don't worry, P', you know eventhough I am naughty, I would listen to you all the time, so, alright, I'll take an ultimate care", Joong said while pinching my cheek and walked out from the room.

As soon as Joong was gone, I took my phone and called Pavel, "P', looked at what we had done!", I said in a strain voice.

"What?", Pavel's voice was hoarse, must be he was asleep when I called.

"Joong really decided to go there, P'. Now, what?", I said in panic.

"Then, what are you waiting for. Go there, then confessed it's you. End of all of your misery", Pavel said and continued, "I just opened you an entry, Nine. Rather than wasting your time talking about your feeling towards him, to me, it's time you take that step and be brave. Wasn't that's why we agreed to send that message to meet, right? At that time, you're on fire", Pavel said with a laugh.

"Yeah right...on fire, your ass, P', I was drunk", Pavel's laugh sounded louder. I continued when he calmed up, "Looking at his excitement just now, I felt guilty for pretending for that long, P'. He would expect to meet some lovely person whom he'd been chatting with for a year...", I said, regret flooding, unending.

"So, what's the problem? You're lovely and also you never lie in any of your chat, just not revealing it's you. What are you afraid of, Nine?".

"He'd be devastated, and would start to distrust me", I said with a heavy feeling.

"Joong is more mature than you think, Nine. I couldn't help you more than this. So, let me get back to my beauty sleep, and you, choose what's the best, for both of you".

With that words, Pavel ended the call and I was torn in between finding that courage to face him and poured the truth, or just hide and let everything being forgotten with time.

Unfortunately, I chose to hide.

Joong

I came into my dorm room and switched on the light. Ah, Nine was still here, he didn't leave. It was already nearing midnight, yet he didn't wish me birthday, and the day end would end in a short while.

I laid down on the bed and looked at the serene face. A smile played on my lips, always feeling so comfortable with him around me. My fingers caressing the hair on his temple lightly, yet the sleeping eyes moved and opened. We looked at each other, blinking in silence.

"Have you eaten?", I asked since there' s no trace of waste in my bin, nor cooking done.

"No. Not that hungry. I fell asleep quite early too", he answered quitely.

"Not good. Must eat something, even if you are not that hungry, or else your stomach would feel painful, again". Nine had a sensitive stomach. He was already thin, so I didn't want him to lose more weight by not eating well.

"You're back already? Said would be back late?", Nine sat up and rubbed his eyes. I sat up too and sighed.

"You're right, no one was there. So, I just danced, talked with the bartender who was friendly, and drink just a little bit, so that not to be drunk, just as you told me". I looked at him, waiting for him to say anything. I could see him swallowing hard, fidgeting, and finally, took a few deep breaths, and held my hands.

"Joong...I'm so sorry...I..."

"Chatted with me for a year, and then left me cold in the club tonight?", I said before he could continue. His eyes widened and his cheeks turned red.

"You...knew?", his hands that held mine, laxed and let go. He covered his face with both palms, and sighed regretfully, ashamed. I pulled his hands away, to see his face while we talk this out.

"P', I could put two and two together. Did you think I would keep chatting with a stranger, if I was not so sure it was you?".

"Am I that obvious, I meant, in my chat? I thought I covered my identity up so well".

"Maybe, because I know how you are so well too, I could guess it was you. Actually P', it was fun, our chats, because you're more open in there. Why? You should have been more open as Nine in front me, you know?", I said, a little hurt.

"Not that I intended to dupe you, Joong. Our reality... is complicated. To what extent could I let go, to what extent people around us could accept it, to what extent, you... could accept this. All these times, I just thought that being an unknown person, while letting my heart known, should be enough. But, recently, I was thinking, that you would finally reach you adult age, which is today, and maybe we could move another step, forward. So, I met with P'Phoom, to talk it out, had too much to drink. And thus, that message to meet, was sent, while I was drunk".

"Ooo...you're drunk...", I said,almost in a whisper, a little dissapointed, because I did think that he sent it because he finally found the courage to do so. Before I could overthink, Nine continued, "No, listen first...after I realized it the next day, at first I wanted to take it back, to tell you that it was a mistake, but...to be honest, I really wanted to go, meet you there and confess. But, it turned out, when the time came, I was a coward in the end", he looked away and bit his quivering lips.

I was quiet, for a long time. Nine words keep resounding in my head. He was right, I also didn't know how much I can take, or how to go from here.

"Nine, looked at me", I said, and touched his chin to let him looked up, not away from me. His eyes were gloomy, he was waiting for me to make my mind up. The relationship wouldn't remain the same, with this uncertainty hanging around our hearts, not settled.

"You said to me, take a sip and a taste first; the drink; so as not to let me overindulged and lost myself. Maybe we should take that advice, in handling our relationship too. I also couldn't say that this would be easy, or whether  what we feel now, is because we're too close; or because it really meant something more. You, yourself is unsure, right? Or else, you wouldn't choose to hide still... "

Nine took his time, his eyes looking all over my face, he must be thinking about my words. Slowly he nodded.

"Then, what step would you like for me to take, Nine?. We end this here, and back to be as we were, or shall we take a sip and get familiar with how it taste first, and only then we decide?", I asked him again.

Long silent ensued. Hesitantly, Nine cupped my cheeks and caressed it tenderly. I waited, pretending to be calm, when my heartbeats pounding so hard too. Finally, his hands trailed down, holding my nape, as he leaned forward and gave me a gentle kiss.

"A sip...and then more. Happy Birthday, Joong". I smiled and kissed him back, exactly as the clock strike to twelve.

The End.