Undeniable

22

candles : juice wrld
'the devil on my shoulder keep on telling me to keep her'

-a week later-

"morning" i said to mattia as he walked into the room and kissed me. 

"we're gonna be late hurry upp" he said as it was almost 9am and i had slightly overslept.

"i'm ready let's go" i said and we left. 

we got to the track and warmed up and my stomach was starting to hurt but i ignored it and we set off on our run. i got to the finish line just after mattia and my stomach was killing me at this point. 

"HA IN YOUR FACE" he said happily and i rolled my eyes and laughed at him.

"it was a one off but well done" i smiled at him and he smiled back. 

we drank our water and i tried ignoring my stomach pains while we went to our next session and then we were finally finished. 

me and mattia walked back to his room and i sat on his bed while he went to shower. i needed to pee so i went to the toilet and saw that I'd got my period so i walked back into the room to get the pads i left in his drawer. i rummaged around the drawer to find them , moving his socks around and i felt a piece of paper and pulled it out ,thinking it was a wrapper. 

i opened up the folded paper and my heart stopped when i read it. 

'things to do when we get bored at camp:'

i read over the things on the list until i got to number 4 which was written in mattia's handwriting.

'fuck around with a McKnight and make her think it's real'

i crumpled up the paper in my hand in anger and left and ran back to my room. i was just a fucking boredom challenge. 

i opened up the door and ran to the bathroom to sort my period out and as i washed my hands a tear fell down my cheek. i am so stupid.  

i came out the bathroom and jess saw me crying and pulled me into a hug and i showed her the paper and she looked so mad. 

"i'll fucking kill him" she said standing up but i pulled her back down and carried on hugging her. 

there was a knock on the door and me and jess looked at each other. she got up and opened the door a little bit.

"hey is-" he started saying and she slammed the door in his face.

"YO WHAT THE FUCK" he said in annoyance and knocked on the door again and we ignored him until he left. 

my stomach was still hurting so i had a nap while jess laid with me. i woke up after an hour or so  and looked at my phone , my heart hurting when i looked at my lock screen and messages from mattia asking why i left earlier. i ignored them and talked with jess for a bit until dinner and we went down to eat. we were the first ones there and we got our food and i was mostly done by the time mattia showed up with kairi. he looked at me and i got up and left the hall and made my way to the tower. 

15 minutes later the tower door opened and mattia walked in. 

"what's going on?" he asked and i took the paper out of my pocket and threw it at him and he caught it and looked at me in confusion before opening it. 

as soon as he opened it, i could tell he recognised it. he took a deep breath before looking at me.

"so i was just a fucking challenge for you to do when you got bored here?" i said , feeling my anger burn up again. 

"y/n it's not like that-" 

"that's exactly what it is mattia stop lying" 

"it's not i swear , it looks worse than it is-"

"so our first kiss wasn't because you were bored??" i asked and he looked down.

"i can't believe the first time i let my guard down was with someone who used me as a fucking challenge" i said with my eyes watering.

"y/n i-"

"my whole life i was told to stay away from people like you , and the one time i gave a fucking polibio the benefit of the doubt this is how much it meant to you?" my voice wavered as a tear rolled down my cheek. 

"you mean everything to me i swear , this was so long ago i didn't even know you then"

"our whole relationship was a fucking boredom challenge mattia!" 

"it wasn't , i fell in love with you and completely forgot I'd even written that i swear y/n!" he said with tears in his eyes. 

"or are you just saying that to make me 'think it's real' " i snapped at him.

"it is real y/n , i'm fucking in love with you why would i do that to myself if it was just a challenge to me??" 

"OUR FIRST KISS WAS BECAUSE YOU WERE BORED MATTIA AND EVERYTHING AFTER THAT WAS TO MAKE ME BELIEVE WHAT WE HAD WAS SOMETHING REAL' i yelled at him and he stayed silent for a second and i left and slammed the door behind me. 

-mattia's pov-

after she left i sat on the floor as a tear rolled down my face. how did i fuck everything up without even trying to. 

i genuinely forgot about that stupid fucking list ever since i started liking her. that day in the tower i knew i liked her , i would never want to hurt her. i made that list with kairi a week before we even got to the camp, i didn't know I'd fucking fall in love. 

she hates me again. it took me so long to get her to realise i cared about her and now it's all gone because of that fucking paper. 

i don't wanna lose her.

-y/n pov- 

i got back to the room crying and jess sat with me and comforted me. 

"i can't believe i fell for it jess" i cried.

"do you want me to be honest?" she asked and i nodded.

"i think maybe he really did forget about it. i know what it looks like and i agree that it was a fucked up challenge to make anyway , but i've seen the way he looks at you. any idiot can tell he genuinely loves you y/n. i know polibio's have a reputation but i really don't think he'd want to hurt you" she said and i reluctantly realised she may have a point. 

"maybe you're right" i sighed and wiped my eyes.

"you still need to talk it out with him when you're ready , but maybe just think about it" she said and i nodded. 

eliza came to see us and saw i was sad and asked what happened so we explained to her and we all ended up cuddling until we fell asleep. 

A/N- helllooo i hope you liked itt🙈

it is raining so much here i absolutely love it omg.

im re watching jane the virgin again and zen rafael was so much hotter than before mmm😽

neways hope you're all having a good day / night love u guys byyyee