𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐔𝐏 | 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐲

28. Maybe stay?

Jack

I paced around my bedroom floor impatiently, occasionally checking the time on my phone. This wasn't the first time I'd been in this situation. Why was I so nervous? And why did I so want him to come?

I shouldn't allow any notion of nerves. I have all the power in this situation... even if it makes me feel more powerless than anything else in life. I wish I could just walk away from it all but I'm weak. To weak to ignore it all, but to weak to allow it to happen.

I noticed that the item was still in a small bag placed neatly on my covers. I tipped the bag upside down and ripped off the tag, throwing it on the floor along with the bag and clumsily kicked the both under my bed.

I can't believe of all things I had bought a thong. What was I thinking? How desperate was I to stoop to this low - to go out and by the thong for Zach to have a reason to come over here. I hope he didn't realise it wasn't his.

Oh, how awkward it was to buy it. Walking into that store and asking a worker to help me find one. I had to roughly describe it from memory, trying to get it close enough to the one he wore so that there was at least a small chance he wouldn't tell the difference. Maybe I should've payed more attention to it, for I had barely any inclination as to what it looked like.

Well, here we were now... me. Waiting for Zachary. A thong sprawled across my sheets. I didn't want to consider the new lows I had breeched.

It troubled me why I cared so much about the tension between us, now that the truth had been brought upon me. I couldn't explain why I found myself not caring about Zach himself but rather caring about his disposition towards me.

Perhaps it's because I valued what Zach could offer me. Secrecy. Services. He was useful to me - in a way - and it's hard to take advantage of people who would rather endure an insufferable fate rather than so much as be in the same room as you.

Why wasn't he here yet? Why did I feel so... so stripped of control? Every situation that involves Zach feels so out of my hands, and I don't like it. I want him here and I want him here now, no more uncertainty, no more defiance.

As if abiding by a queue, I heard a text notification from my phone. "I'm at the door." It read bluntly. I wouldn't even have to see him to know the look that was on his face when he sent that.

I clambered down the stairs, rushing towards the front entrance. I thrust the door open, trying to keep a manner of indifference. "Come in" I ordered - although not in a harsh tone. I moved aside so he could step in.

He looked around cautiously. "Where's josh?" He asked with a tone of skepticism. "Out" I replied curtly with no further explanation. Zach huffed. "Figures..."

I creased my eyebrows as I walked upstairs, indicating for him to follow me. What did he mean by that... "figures" ?

I pushed the thought aside as I entered my room, hearing Zach's footsteps follow after me. "Close the door if you want" I offered. "I'd rather not" he replied back. I sighed.

"So uhh... you left those here" I awkwardly lied, scratching the back of my neck as I looked at the black thongs on my bed. Zach glared at me, raising an eyebrow. "What the fuck is wrong with you, is this some joke?" He spat out, folding his arms over.