The Street Racer's Loner

TEN

Chapter 10: Unwanted Memories

Ezra Rivera

It has been 13 months since they left. Dad becomes more and more aggressive by the day. I wonder when the day will come where he'll just outright hit me.

I get it, I'm the one at fault.

I'm the one who killed them.

It's now been drilled into me that I should've been the one to die instead.

I should just die.

A knock on our- no my bedroom door startled me out of my thoughts. It's her, she's the only one who knocks. The door slowly opens and her head peaks into my room, "good you're awake," she smiles at me but I don't smile back this time. Not feeling the mood.

Her name is Cara, it's been a month since she started babysitting me when my dad is working late at the plant. Sometimes she has to stay the night. She's good at keeping my mind off the dark cave that's inside my head, that replays all the insults and blame my Dad throws at me, the day of the incident and the hurtful words the bullies at school throw at me.

"Ezra how about you escort me to the store?" She asks her voice cheerful as always as she fully enters the room. I nod in response not feeling very verbal today. "Okay Ezra, what's wrong today?" She asks cautiously as she slowly sits on the bed with me. I sigh and turn to look at her.

"I think I should die, I think that will make Dad happy, to know at least that he's beloved daughter and wife's killer is dead and no longer living in his house," I speak softly that I'm surprised she even heard what I said.

"Now Ezra that's not true, you didn't kill your sister or your mother, it was something you couldn't control. It's not like you knew that truck would've come into your lane on your way back from school, it's nothing no one could have control over alright." She  tells me as she rubs my back then whispers 'it's not your fault'  over and over again.

When she thinks the mantra has stuck in my head, she gets up and pulls me up too, "Now let's go to the store."

I put on my sneakers and leave my room meeting Cara at the front door. Her blonde curls now tied up in a ponytail. We ditch her car because she knows how much I hate being in them instead we walk there and luckily it's not that far from my house.

Cara hums the tune to happy by Pharrell Williams and I join in and we stop once at the automatic doors of the grocery store she takes out a plastic bag from her handbag and we enter the store grabbing a shopping cart and we start off at the frozen goods aisle.

We end the trip by grabbing stuff in the detergent aisle. Then off we head to the cash register and the cashier. She pays the total that shows up on the screen and packs everything into the plastic bag. Some things she shoved into her handbag and then we bid goodbye to the cashier and off we go, back to my house.

"Ezra wanna stop by the park?" She asks and I nod in response. It had been a while since I went to the park and it really wasn't the same with Illiana gone and Amir all the way in Florida. But it was still great to run around a bit and maybe get on the swings for a few minutes.