Roman one-shots

7 years old | Angst

So huge trigger for this,it gets really personal. I can't really but a warning because I do not know what this boy's intentions were,but it's been on mind lately evening though it happened years ago I am still very hurt so I decided to write about it. Thank you :)

Warnings: Ignored contest,Unwanted touching,mentions of hospitals,if I should any more let me know. The word 'dick' is written. Gb!Roman

Roman's p.o.v
When I was 5 my parents had taken me to the doctors because they noticed I was growing faster than most kids my age. The doctor has diagnosed me with something. The name is fuzzy,So I would not be able to tell you the name,but I was explained to it that my body thinks I'm 12's year old evening though my mind knew I was 5. I didn't understand it back then and sometimes I still don't but I was treated overly older. I've been told often that I may as welled raised myself.

I love my parents so much,and I am so grateful to have them in my life,but having a 5 year old learn how to wash their own hair by themself was not a great idea because it's years later and I can hardly wash my hair now. Sorry besides the point. What I'm trying to get at is that I wasn't looked at like a 5 year old. As years went by it really didn't help,when I was 3rd grade some kid thought I was 10.

I was 7 years old. 3rd grade is hard as it is but trying to explain to the girl who you liked about how you summer went was harder. Why,your brain may be asking me. Well I saw my first dick over that summer. Like every little 7 year old I had friends who were older and younger then me. In this case they were brothers. The older one because in middle school almost 14,the other being only 5. Maybe that's why I still can't wrap my head around this. Still,there is no reason to be showing Your friend,whose female,how you piss. They were pissing on the stairs that lead up to their apartment. I was seven and had no clue how inappropriate that was. All I knew was that made me uncomfortable and that I didn't want to see that again.

To this day I wish that was all that had happened,but no the 14 year old,who we're call Damien, suggested we played follow the leader. Weird,I know. I was an idiot and went along with it, happily. I was told to be the leader. Once again I was a little girl who listened to anything they were told and want along with it. I really wish I didn't.

(HUGE TRIGGER WARNING,I start getting really personal here. I was an unexpecting 7 year old who was so lucky to get away when I did because I don't know what would of happened it I didn't.)

I remember almost everything from here out. I remember who my plaid blue skirt that was a bit shirt swinged back and forth like a child on swing. I remember how unexpecting it was. I never had felt anything like that but I knew it wrong. I knew for a fact that it was wrong as Damien slapped my ass. My skirt laied flat against me. It was like that child getting bored of the swing and getting off. I didn't want to continue. I asked to get off the swing but I was told no. Damien grouped me again. Ignoring my innocent pleads he continued. I started laughing I tried once again,he told me off though. It was the final straw for me when he told me "Your giggling. Your enjoying this." (Yes those are the exact words.) I am so fucking proud of me because I ran away. I igrnoed the posion ivy at my feet only focused on getting out of that situation. I ran home,but refused to tell my parents because I was scared. I barely knew what happened but I knew it wasn't right. The first person I told was my best friend,and I am so fucking grateful that she is here and alive with me in this universe. She had told my parents because I didn't have the guts to. We never did anything of it out of my request.

Now that I am older and understand more I just want to say that no matter how awful it is I wish it wasn't me. Because I didn't ask to be crying over something that was said me years ago. I didn't ask to be 7 years old telling my friends that someone touched me inappropriately. I never wanted to be crying in my own fucking bathroom at my birthday party because I once again told the story. I didn't ask to be explained what happened and why it was wrong at 7. I didn't want to lose the childhood innocences that young. I never wanted to face him again. I didn't want to feel that unsafe again as he catcalled me across the street when he was entering fucking highschool and I was barely in middle school.

So that is the end. This felt really nice to get off of my chest and I just want to say to anyone who may have gone through what I went through or worse you are not alone. Please do not be afraid to dm me (because I have no clue how lol) I try to respond on every comment evening if it's something as simple as a yellow heart,which by the means I love you friendship wise. Just don't be afraid and you are not alone. 💛