DETRIMENT

🖤43🖤

GUILT!

Guilt!

No other emotion felt so stronger than what Jonah is currently feeling,how did she die? How can she? He had asked himself that question severally,he became a shadow of himself and can't believe it's already a week Joy left the world,Joy left him for good and nothing he can do to bring her back

She deserve more!

She so much deserve much more better!

But death was cruel! so cruel

So cruel to him it took away the only sensible thing in his life,he shouted again and again making his parents rush into his room,this have been going on for a week now

He couldn't go to school,he is so damn and wrecked to visit school,he misses all the test he had to write and he cried!  he cried welled up in guilt

"Jonah!"his mom called crying hugging her son,she had never saw her son so heart broken,so tattered, it felt like Jonah is gone and the pain is so visible in his eyes,his mom wished nothing but to take away the pain

"Mom"he cried curling into a ball and his mom bursted into tears looking at her husband who in turn was so confused,they learnt from Anna the dead girl was Jonah's girlfriend but the reaction he had after the death was really taking a lot from them

"Son! You have to man up,things like this tends to happen"his dad said sitting beside him on the bed but he ignored them

"Today is her birthday"he muttered but his parents heard him,his mom look at him once more her heart breaking into pieces before leaving the room,his dad rubbed his temples confused on how to get Jonah to be himself again

"You can talk to me"the man said

"Not now,I can't talk"Jonah replied closing his eyes and his dad nodded agreeing his son needed the space before leaving his room

The house was literally dead,the twins becoming a shadow of themselves,Anna always crying filled with guilt of not listening to Joy when she needed her,though she had resume school but Jonah took the bullet harder,he rarely eats talkless of going to school

As soon as the door to his room shut indicating his dad was gone,he stood up and went to lock the door,he needed no disturbance as he dwell on his sorrow,he had never felt so much pain in his sixteen years of life,it felt so raw it can't be compared with what he felt when Dorcas was shot and it felt like his life is over

He went over to the side he kept his drawings,he went through them seeing those pictures of Joy he had drawn,her smile! then he remembered their first date,their first kiss,the period they went out for jogging,the way he nag her at the library,how he get lost while watching her,how everything she does fascinates him

"Happy birthday"he whispered to the picture new tears falling from his eyes, today was supposed to be a joyful day to him,to Joy she would have been sixteen today but no! She wasn't alive to reach her sixteenth birthday,how did it happened? He wondered again

He got angry,he got furious at himself he remembered all the time Joy begged for his attention,he hates himself more than anything,he wished he had given her that attention,that attention she seeks so much,he wished he hadn't made her cry oh! His head is spinning, spinning in regrets has he hears the cries of Joy begging him to talk to her, seeking her attention,he would give anything to bring back that time,to show her how much she meant to him,how she's everything to him but no! It's late all he has to do is dwell in guilt,he promised her happiness but couldn't give that to her

What kind of boyfriend is he? He is selfish! So selfish!

He threw away those pics,he can't look at them,he can't see that face,he can't see that innocent smile,how good times had change to a memory,he screamed again and again hitting his head on the desk on his room before darkness took over